Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   How delightful (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=18032)

bliss 11-29-2011 10:59 PM

How delightful
 
This is awesome.

There I was, two days ago, minding my own business working on my laptop in front of the TV and a programme about sex & intimate relationships started.

I'm paying no particular attention, until it dawns on me that (for the first time ever) a presenter is talking about my kind of romantic relashionship. So I start paying attention.

And there's a word for it :) ! Polyamory. I have a word for what is natural for me.... how cool is that.

I've just come from wikipedia to here.... and there's loads of us!

Apparently, there's also a 'closet' that some of us are 'out' of and some of us aren't? I didn't know there was a closet.

This is VERY cool. For the 1st time in my life I'll be able to have a conversation with people about multiple 'in-love' connections without having to constantly remind and correct that it's not fundamentally 'recreational' or 'casual', why the self-imposed limitations of monogamy make little emotional sense to me, and never have... and know they'll 'get' it... and why I don't have to choose betweem being monogamus or being promiscuous.

Today is a blissful day... so that's what I've chosen as my forum name - bliss.

Hi Everyone..... are you a sight for sore eyes !!!

nycindie 11-29-2011 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bliss (Post 113566)
Hi Everyone..... are you a sight for sore eyes !!!

Or maybe this is a site for sore eyes, LOL. Welcome!!

I loved this part of your sentence:
Quote:

Originally Posted by bliss (Post 113566)
I don't have to choose betweem being monogamus or being promiscuous.

I never thought of it this way before, but that's how I lived my life for years before I got married. I had to either be mono or promiscuous. I was taught to believe that monogamy was the goal and being promiscuous was somehow bad. Wow, what a choice.

bliss 11-29-2011 11:59 PM

Hi nycindie,
 
a pleasure to meet you.

I know. I've always found it uterly perplexing why other's have carved it into such a stark black/white choice...as though no other desirable variation could exist.

I'm just reading the glossary and definitions. There's a whole established language for the diversity of polyamory... don't get me wrong, it's never worried me that I didn't have a set of words to describe 'where I'm at' romance-wise... that I feel that way is all the legitamacy I ever needed. But it'll be super-helpful in future convos and being able to research 'my community'.

I can just write the keywords down and tell curious folk to google it.

How did you find your way here? I'd love to hear something of your journey nycindie

nycindie 11-30-2011 12:34 AM

Check out the "Life stories and blogs" forum. My blog is there, and many others' : http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=5

IsntLifeFun 12-01-2011 05:05 PM

Welcome Bliss!
I understand your revelation. I went from thinking I was just a romantic, to a hopeless romantic and feeling guilty, to accepting the reality of loving more than one person at a time.
Be happy, but be cautious. Polyamory isn't as acceptable as say kinky sex or a cheating spouse.

NewtoPloyamory 12-01-2011 05:53 PM

Bliss....I am in the same boat. I joined the forum two days ago and it was great to find out there are others here like me. I love how you have expressed yourself and I echo your thoughts.

Stay Honest to yourself....and its acceptable to be different...

S

HumbleBee 12-01-2011 11:28 PM

Hi, Bliss :-)
Welcome to you :-)

Very much understand the feeling. Felt the same when I heared the word and got to read about it on wiki... that was almost 4 years ago.
Felt like coming home.
Very strange to find a whole set of vocabulary existing already, describing what I felt in my heart, thinking I was alone in this world feeling like that :-)

Still, for some mysterious reasons, am new at this forum. I like it here!

HB

bliss 12-02-2011 11:25 PM

Why thankyou :)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by nycindie (Post 113579)
Check out the "Life stories and blogs" forum. My blog is there, and many others' : http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=5

nycindie, i'm on pg 10 of your blog and i'm hooked lol.

Quote:

Originally Posted by IsntLifeFun (Post 113909)
Welcome Bliss!
I understand your revelation. Be happy, but be cautious. Polyamory isn't as acceptable as say kinky sex or a cheating spouse.

Hi LifeFun, thanks for your warm welcome :)
Mmmm.... why "be cautious"? Are you talking about people judging me and me loosing friends... or be careful because far more people are drawn to explore the idea of multiple 'special' connections, than can actually handle the landscape?

Quote:

Originally Posted by NewtoPloyamory (Post 113920)
Bliss....I am in the same boat. I joined the forum two days ago and it was great to find out there are others here like me. I love how you have expressed yourself and I echo your thoughts.

Stay Honest to yourself....and its acceptable to be different...

S

Thankyou very much for your kind words.

I've thought a great deal about this notion of a 'closet' being associated with my preferences since the original post. I've been honest and open and 'specture of a closet' free for over 15 years.

After the sheer surprise of finding out. Shock and distaste have set in. All I can say after a days reflection is:

F**k that s**t! (excuse my french) I don't 'do' closets. I've never hidden my preferences in one. One can't 'out' ones' self, if one has never been 'in' to begin with.

If I accept that I have a 'closet' accociated with my choice of existance. I also, by default, accept the idea that there's a specture of insidious judgement looming about me - from which one could need a closet to hide.

But if this looming judgement was real. If it was really real (in my part of the world), why have I never felt it? I've conversed with literarly 100s of people on the subject of "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" (friends, aquantances, strangers, work colleagues, more strangers etc...) and never once felt judged. They need a spot of help seperating it out from the trend of 'f**k-buddies. But once that's happened - it's all golden.

*Indignant rant over* lol


Quote:

Originally Posted by HumbleBee (Post 113977)
Hi, Bliss :-)
Welcome to you :-)

Very much understand the feeling. Felt the same when I heared the word and got to read about it on wiki... that was almost 4 years ago.
Felt like coming home.
Very strange to find a whole set of vocabulary existing already, describing what I felt in my heart, thinking I was alone in this world feeling like that :-)

Still, for some mysterious reasons, am new at this forum. I like it here!

HB

It really does, HumbleBee, you are so right.

"The greatest gift one human being can give another is the gift of understanding"

Phy 12-09-2011 08:35 PM

Hey there, welcome.

I know the feeling you described, I stumbled over this site during a time when I desperately searched for a name to apply to the situation I was finding myself in. After discovering the word 'polyamory' when trying to get answers by googling: Is it possible to love two men at the same time (quite creative, I know ^.^) a whole mountain fell off my heart when I discovered that there were others and I wasn't that strange and alone as I thought I was. :D


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