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-   -   Just wondering... let me know if my questions becoem a bother. (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1717)

Tahirabs 12-11-2009 03:39 PM

Just wondering... let me know if my questions becoem a bother.
 
Now before I start this post I want to say I know i've asked alot of questions on this message board because I'm new and if this bothers anyone (or if this question in particular bothers anyone) please let me know. :( I was just wondering how to refure to my relationship with my husband and my GF as people on this message board have called us a V and a Tried. My GF and Husband have both told me they love each other (and they say it to each other occasionally), but have also told me they would never be sexual with each other alone (only when I'm around are they). They also say I am the most important person to them and that the other one is secondary to them. Interestingly though they both say they would be friends with each other even if I wasn't around. Even more interesting my GF says she wouldn't be fully commited and in love with me with out my husband. She says she has known for many years that she would only fall completly inlove and be commited to a couple (MF FF or transgender MM). Hummm... I don't know what to make of all of this and thought that you smart people might have a clue. ;) Thanks for any thoughts you might have :D

Ceoli 12-11-2009 03:45 PM

No need to apologize for asking questions!

It really comes down to what you feel like it is. I have had friends in the situation you describe and they referred to their relationship as a V. But at the same time I've had a friend who was in in similar situation and considered it a triad, even though she was straight and not involved sexually with the other woman.

So which description feels more right to you? Go with your gut on that one.

GroundedSpirit 12-11-2009 04:01 PM

Questions are good
 
Hi Tahirabs,
Hey questions and discussions are what we're all here for ! Never hesitate - please !
In regards to your particular situation just keep in mind (as you'll see numerous people here attest to) that there's no "one way". As long as the 3 of you are happy in your relationship and it's benefiting everyone, ignore labels and and attempts to but frames around it. It just doesn't matter. It's working. Don't break it by over analyzing :)

GS

MonoVCPHG 12-11-2009 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit (Post 15335)
It's working. Don't break it by over analyzing :)

GS

Thumbs up to that my friend!! This is one of my big problems. Just go with Tahirabs.

Tahirabs 12-11-2009 07:15 PM

Thanks!!! :D
 
Thanks!!! :D

LovingRadiance 12-11-2009 08:13 PM

Call it what you will-just know you may have people who don't understand. :)

True about anything really.
We have a similar dynamic we're a V in our mind. Because the guys are straight and unintersted in sexual relations with one another.

But when Em is around we say we're a quad-and she's not sexual with ANY OF US. Ha-mixes the world up, keeps us entertained!

redpepper 12-12-2009 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tahirabs (Post 15330)
Now before I start this post I want to say I know i've asked alot of questions on this message board because I'm new and if this bothers anyone (or if this question in particular bothers anyone) please let me know. :(

Oh pooey, please don't think that you can't ask questions... it might be that some of us will suggest reading other posts in order to embellish on the answers you get, but that doesn't mean that everyone is irritated...

that is what this is all about, supporting one another.

As for what you call each other, others have said, but, just like negotiating boundaries, it's up to all of you what you want to define yourself,,, if anything at all.


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