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-   -   My GF is leaving and I could use all of your excellent advice... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1636)

Tahirabs 12-02-2009 03:44 PM

My GF is leaving and I could use all of your excellent advice...
 
My GF has to go back to Finland at the end of this month :( (Visia for studing at our local university runs out) and won't be able to return for atleast 2years (possibly longer). My husband wanted to have a deep conversation about what would happen if she retuens (she keeps telling us she will definitly retun to the U.S. and to us) about her putting the family first in regars to communication and money and she was really all for this. She even said this is what she wants. She said she wants a long turm caring devoted relationship (Yah!)! I have talked about putting all our wants and needs down on paper and signing it, just for our sake. What do others think of this idea? I think mainly this would make me feel better about her leaving for so long!! (She has promised to e-mail (even just a "hi, I love you") me daily and hand write letters weekly, I told her that is a lot and that she doesn't have to) Just wondering what others think since you all give such GREAT advice!!! :D

LovingRadiance 12-02-2009 11:35 PM

I posted on your other thread. ;)

redpepper 12-03-2009 07:41 AM

The time has come hey Tahirabs? :(

I feel for you.
But I wouldn't write anything down just yet... promising stuff in a moment of life change can be risky... maybe wait until the spring or summer to see where you are all at? You wouldn't want her to make a promise she might not be able to keep, and by asking she will feel the need to comply to make you feel better... seems tad unfair to me.

Tahirabs 12-03-2009 05:02 PM

thanks
 
thanks for the help... yes I don't want her to promise something she can't keep. hummm... maybe the three of us have more talking to do ;)

Fidelia 12-03-2009 06:32 PM

My advice, Tahirabs, is to fully enjoy the remaining time you have together. Every single moment is precious and sacred. More than that, love is what life is all about.

Love one another, as deeply and as fully and as completely as you can.

Don't let the fear of what may come tomorrow steal today's joy.

And when the time comes, let your loved one go. Trust that everything that must be will be. You can trust that love will always find a way.

Tahirabs 12-03-2009 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fidelia (Post 14361)
My advice, Tahirabs, is to fully enjoy the remaining time you have together. Every single moment is precious and sacred. More than that, love is what life is all about.

Love one another, as deeply and as fully and as completely as you can.

Don't let the fear of what may come tomorrow steal today's joy.

And when the time comes, let your loved one go. Trust that everything that must be will be. You can trust that love will always find a way.

Thank you Thank you Thank you... this advice is most headed. Love does always find away. If we (me and my gf) don't find away (at all) than it must not be really love. I do belive that what ever happens happens for a reason, I just forgot for a moment. Thank you for the reminder.

Guess what is soooo cool.... as long as the weather permits my hsband, gf, and I are going to drive from KS to the Grand Canyon just before Christmas!!! :) Hope the weather isn't too bad. The coolest part was every holtel room I got my husband called up and requested a Queen/King bed so we could all sleep together. This was his idea!!! He got sad that I had gotten double beds!!! Isn't that sweet...and awsome!!! :) YAH I am soo happy :) :D

Fidelia 12-03-2009 07:03 PM

YEAH! I'm happy for you! :D

lipsnlace 12-09-2009 02:24 AM

Congrats! I'm happy for you guys. :) Sounds like you have some wonderful loves there.


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