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-   -   What do you think? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1635)

Tahirabs 12-02-2009 03:20 PM

What do you think?
 
I found this awsome website from a Polyamory family that homeschool and run a bissness together
http://www.polyfamilies.com/index.html

On this website if you search around alot you'll see the women who is writing it calling her partners Husband 1 husband 2 and wife. I was just wondering what anyone else thought about this. I found it rather interesting as she can't mean these things legaly, can she? :confused: hummm... just curouse to hear others thoughts about this or what you think about this website.
I think this website is AWSOME!!! :D

Thanks for the thoughts! :rolleyes:

Signed,
tah

LovingRadiance 12-02-2009 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tahirabs (Post 14103)
I found this awsome website from a Polyamory family that homeschool and run a bissness together
http://www.polyfamilies.com/index.html

On this website if you search around alot you'll see the women who is writing it calling her partners Husband 1 husband 2 and wife. I was just wondering what anyone else thought about this. I found it rather interesting as she can't mean these things legaly, can she? :confused: hummm... just curouse to hear others thoughts about this or what you think about this website.
I think this website is AWSOME!!! :D

Thanks for the thoughts! :rolleyes:

Signed,
tah

You're question is what we think about her using the terms husband1,2 and wife?

Really I don't care. I call "em" my siste-but there is no shared biology or legal paperwork. She is still my sister of heart... so I guess if someoen wnated to say husband or wife... it doesn't make much difference to me personally.

LovingRadiance 12-03-2009 03:23 AM

Well I've been laughing my butt off around that site for several hours now. A LOT of helpful info in there too actually. Great sense of humor.

I suggest reposting this thread on the general forum. Tends to be more activity there I think. ;)

Erosa 12-03-2009 03:35 AM

LOL I can just here the call to dinner.

"Sweety go tell daddy 1 and daddy 2 that mom and mommy have dinner on the table and...":

ROFL

crisare 12-03-2009 04:32 AM

Hi Tah. :)

I've mentioned in another thread that I'm both new to the forum and new to a poly community like this, but I've been living a poly life for 2+ years and done a lot of reading and research. So take this for what it's worth considering the source.

I've read back through some of your older threads. One thing that I am seeing as a theme in what you write is this; you are somewhat hung up on what people "can" or "can't" do, or what is "in line" with what you think poly is or should be, or what you think others should feel or have (like you wanting your g/f to experience a certain kind of relationship either now with your husband or later in her own life and family ).

I don't think you mean it in a bad way at all ... I suspect you're still clarifying a lot of things in your own mind, as you've said you're new to poly and you wouldn't be here if it weren't for the people you love. :)

So I guess my point is ... does it really matter if these folks on this website call themselves husbands and wives (multiple)? Does it matter if some people have V relationships (like I do), or partial triads (like you and your husband and your g/f), or any other configuration of poly?

I wonder if you're not looking for some kind of rules or labels or something to fit things into to make yourself comfortable with the relationship you're in?

But one of the things I've learned is that because these are relationships out of society's "norm", there is no one right way to be poly. If you want to call your significant other your g/f, great. If you and your husband want to call her a 2nd wife, why not? Some people might refer to her as your second. Other people don't like that term, feeling it's marginalizing her role. Some people have rules in place where everyone HAS to relate to everyone else or the relationship isn't allowed. Others want little to no contact between the top points of the V. Some people have closed groups, others have open groups.

There are a lot of differnt flavors and styles of poly - and none of them are any more right or wrong than any other, as long as all the members agree. :)

DrunkenPorcupine 12-03-2009 04:40 AM

I said I'd keep my politics off of the forum, but this is one that itches to be mentioned.

To me, marriage has nothing to do with the state. It has everything to do with commitment and love for other people.

I see no reason why a poly family couldn't have multiple marriages. Some places recognize commonlaw marriage; why should it be different because the household happens to trigger multiple marriages by sharing the household commitment?

Legally speaking, they can't both be her husband (and wife). But practically speaking, I see no reason why they shouldn't be. They've likely got a vested interest in what happens in the home, to the children, to the remaining spouses, et cetera.

You, not some paperwork in a city government file folder, should determine and designate spouses.

And Kudos to crisare.

It's hard, sometimes, to step outside of what is expected. It means blazing new trails and rejecting convention. That doesn't sit comfortably with a lot of people, but it's the price to be paid for thinking and acting for yourself. It's extremely empowering for yourself and yoru partners to be okay letting the relationships and no social norms define what it is to you. Kudos.


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