Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   Two People, One Username (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16218)

opalescent 10-25-2011 01:44 PM

Two People, One Username
 
I see a fair number of couples who set up a single username for the forum and then both, or sometimes just one, post under that name.

For the couples out there who decided to do this, why set up your username that way? Why not separate usernames? Does it work well for you? Have you had any conflicts? Do you consider the username to represent the couple as an distinct entity?

AutumnalTone 10-25-2011 02:55 PM

We have no policy against it, as we can't verify that any supposed individual's postings are not the result of a group effort of bored teenagers in Siberia. I think it's slightly dysfunctional, myself, as I have a strong bias in favor of distinct independence in relationships. I'm interested in hearing as to why anybody would do that sort of thing, though.

nycindie 10-25-2011 03:08 PM

It sure can get confusing to try and keep track of who's "speaking" when two people post under one username. So, simply for practicality and clarity, I tend to dislike it when a couple does that.

opalescent 10-25-2011 04:26 PM

I have no wish to ban one username for multiple users, even if that was practical. I do find it personally odd - why wouldn't an individual want their own account? - but it happens often enough that I was curious about the reasons why.

FireChild 10-26-2011 02:42 AM

I think for a lot of couples starting out and just being naturally wary of where things are going it might be best for THEM even if it's confusing for us.

GroundedSpirit 10-26-2011 02:33 PM

There may be a number of reasons for it.

1> One partner may not be too computer savvy and would never log into something alone.

2> One partners usage may be so minimal that it doesn't justify them having to manage yet ANOTHER username & pwd.

3> Not everyone really is into all this online identity stuff. It's superfluous to them. More than happy to throw out the rare comment on another ID.

Stuff like this - I'm sure theres many more reasons

Norithespider 10-26-2011 04:37 PM

My partner doesn't post on this forum, but when we first started dating, we joined a number of sites as a couple. I think for some couples just getting started in poly, it is scary to think externally from their relationship. I think most couples who succeed in being poly for an extended period of time eventually develop a sense of sense within their relationship, but I think especially for newbies it is easier to be seen as a unit.

gleegirl1203 11-03-2011 02:05 PM

I'm the only one that posts under my username. I told my fiance he should join the forum because I'm gaining a lot of insight from it, and that would save me from having to read him every single thing I find that I think is applicable or interesting to me/us.

NathandDom 11-09-2011 03:06 AM

One couple, one account
 
We are new, and have been told that having one account can be detrimental, but this is how we handle every group we belong to.

We choose to have one account for many reasons. Primarily because it is pointless to have multiple accounts and having to parse messages back and forth constantly. We are a unit. One couple, and hopefully eventually, one group. Romantically we are one person. We are not looking for other partners individually. We don't want multiple relationships or flings. We want one cohesive relationship of multiple people. So it is only reasonable that we present ourselves as a couple looking to add more, and not as individuals looking for our own partners.

This is not meant to condemn anyone who has a different opinion, differences are what make the world good. This is just our personal philosophy and desire.

SchrodingersCat 11-09-2011 06:19 AM

I agree that it's confusing. Unless both people are consistently logging in at the same time and only using the pronoun "we" then it's effectively two people using one identity.

I'm quite sure the couples who do this do not share driver's licenses, social insurance numbers, or passports. Their pay cheques are not made out to "Mr. and Mrs. Johnson"

If they're logging in one at a time, and posting at some times as one person and other times as the other person, they really ought to get their own accounts.

If they have their own reasons for using the same account, then as a courtesy to the rest of us, it would be useful to prefix their posts with "John speaking" or "Jane speaking" to avoid the confusion without losing their convenience.


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