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-   -   Can a guy be a sexual healer? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16064)

bulrush 10-20-2011 11:02 PM

Can a guy be a sexual healer?
Why does it have to be a woman? Why can't a guy who is sensitive, caring, and a good listener, use sex as one method of healing and restoring trust in an individual?

Comments please.

redpepper 10-20-2011 11:42 PM

Mono. He was my sexual healer. Hands down. I owe him a lot in terms of my self esteem and self worth in this area. I was his in return.

Magdlyn 10-21-2011 12:49 AM

Ohhh, my boytoy used to heal me on a regular basis. Damn, sometimes that healing would involve lovely bruises and a sore neck from my head banging against the headboard! :o

Jade 10-21-2011 03:12 AM

Oh, I think some men do. I think my husband operates that way, though not so much with me as with other partners.

Anneintherain 10-21-2011 05:46 AM

Of course they can be. My husband has a lower libido and doesn't consider sex an amazing positive thing (compared to me, don't know about he compares to the rest of the world). My self esteem plummeted after breaking up with my high libido-ed ex and ending up monogamous for some years with a guy who doesn't find the joy and happiness in sex easily, and feeling rejected.
This is the only reason I wanted to become actively poly again, and it has been very healing for me to be having sex with somebody who enjoys sex and finds it fun and a worthwhile activity to do often and with zest. And even though it was _the_ only reason I wanted to be poly again, I have found that there are lots of other benefits too. So no way do I discount men as sexual healers.

nycindie 10-21-2011 05:57 AM

Of course!

All people have the potential to be healers. Some need to learn how to be in that healing space, but some people are naturally attuned to it and being around them just soothes the soul. It doesn't necessarily have to be sex as a way for the to heal. I once rode in a cab and afterwards realized the cabbie was a healer; his conversation with me and his whole energy touched me in such a way that I was calmer and happier when I reached my destination than I was when I got in the cab. No small feat in NYC!

So, sure, men are healers! And men can effectively heal through sex. As long as their testosterone doesn't get in the way of connecting with someone. I think connection is key in healing.

dingedheart 10-21-2011 02:46 PM

Excuse me ...but didn't you read my posts on the first thread ? Male ...and healer. HELLO

For Halloween I'm going to paint myself blue....going as blue healer... only dog lover will get that.

On another note a Happy birthday wish goes out to mono ...one of our brother healers ... who has in addition to work as a sexual healer offer many kind words and comforting comment to tens of thousands of people...(that's just a guess) I know someone will call me on the math...they always do.

I think in honor of his birthday that everyone who has been helped by him should subtly......work in a happy birthday greeting in any and all threads that you visit and post on ....could be in the form of a P.S. ...Be creative....

Now to find another thread I need to comment on ...wink wink nudge nudge

opalescent 10-21-2011 03:13 PM


Originally Posted by dingedheart (Post 107455)
For Halloween I'm going to paint myself blue....going as blue healer... only dog lover will get that.


You're such a heel!

I'm glad you've decided to stick around DH.:D

SourGirl 10-21-2011 03:22 PM


Originally Posted by dingedheart (Post 107455)

For Halloween I'm going to paint myself blue....going as blue healer... only dog lover will get that.

Sorry, life-long owner, and lover of Red Heelers here. GO RED ! :p


As for men being Healers,...I really don`t know. Depends on your definition of healers. Those seeking that out for the sole-purpose raises my suspicions, but healing indirectly, sure I guess. It`s not a role men play in my life. I dont need them to heal me, or fix me,...so I find this interesting.

dingedheart 10-21-2011 04:11 PM


You only think you don't ....you're just in denial....come Saturday night a few margaritas you'll be lookin for healin. By the way interesting side-note I was in a garage band named lookin fa healin. We played mostly funk covers...George Clinton...Dr. John...

Did I mention Mono's birthday? I've lost track

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