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Sometrees79 10-02-2011 05:20 PM

Hello from David
 
Hi my name is David

I live in London and I am thinking and considering polyamory. I read
on an article appeared on the web The Daily Beast and got really curious about it. I am mainly attracted by men and currently in a relationship.
The person I am with means so much to me that I decided to go living with him and share as much as I can in my life.
I do however feel attracted by other men and strongly feel the conflict or contradiction or the sense of guilt that I try to repress this feeling and think I should do something else, distract , engage in something else. Hide away that feeling, pretending I am perfect...if by perfection one means sticking to the rules of a heterosexual biased society....or community...
I wish I could be monogamous but I feel I cannot and running the risk of losing everything I have. On the other hand I would like to be able to learn
to open up and talk about this issues with my special mate and again
I am deeply afraid to hurt him and lose him.

Still I want to know more about it and hope to find suggestions or opinions
to open up my views and learn how to change or cope with what I experience.

Thank you. I would salute everyone here with a poem by my favourite poet
John Ashbery.

These are amazing: each
Joining a neighbor, as though speech
Were a still performance.
Arranging by chance

To meet as far this morning
From the world as agreeing
With it, you and I
Are suddenly what the trees try

To tell us we are:
That their merely being there
Means something; that soon
We may touch, love, explain.

And glad not to have invented
Some comeliness, we are surrounded:
A silence already filled with noises,
A canvas on which emerges

A chorus of smiles, a winter morning.
Place in a puzzling light, and moving,
Our days put on such reticence
These accents seem their own defense.

Magdlyn 10-03-2011 12:45 PM

Or how about Hide Your Love Away by John Lennon?

Here I stand, head in hand
Turn my face to the wall
If she's gone I can't go on
Feeling two foot small

Everywhere people stare
Each and every day
I can see them laugh at me
And I hear them say:

Hey, you've got to hide your love away
Hey, you've got to hide your love away

How can I even try?
I can never win
Hearing them, seeing them
In the state I'm in

How could she say to me
"Love will find a way"?
Gather round, all you clowns
Let me hear you say:

Hey, you've got to hide your love away
Hey, you've got to hide your love away


Hiding your feelings of love and attraction for others from your mate... it just doesn't work, if your mate is at all sensitive and perceptive and intuitive. Fear of loss is a biggie. Many of us experienced in poly try to see life as one of abundance, not scarcity.


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