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-   -   Needing Guidance (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=14968)

adaisy 09-25-2011 04:18 PM

Needing Guidance
 
I have been married for 7 years and have a wonderful 6 year old daughter. My husband had never been the loving type, had never shown me the love I want/need, and after years of telling him this and no change, I decided to move out. I have had feelings for another man for some time, but had not been open to him about my feelings.
As I am moving away from my husband, I cannot control my feelings of this other man(who is married btw). Come to find out, they have an "polymory" type relationship, which I am now a part of. They both love me so much. I now have them and my husband telling me how much they love me, want me, etc.. It is hard for me to be comfortable in the 3some situation because it is something new to me. So I wonder if Im just scared because its something new. I can say I love them, and do not have the same love for my husband, but at times I think I should be back with him, and give him a chance, for my daughters sake...
Sometimes I feel I have lost my mind!!

AnnabelMore 09-26-2011 12:34 AM

Hey adaisy,

If you have strong feelings for this new man, but the threesome aspect of being with him and his wife makes you uncomfortable, then why not *just* be with him? Do they consider themselves a package deal?

Check out the essays here, especially the ones listed under the header Poly Configurations along the righthand side of the page:

http://www.morethantwo.com/

Good luck!

sagency 09-27-2011 06:55 AM

Children are a resilient bunch. A happy mommy is more important than a frustrated mommy with a placeholder daddy.

As for the other couple, you need to be blunt and proactive in communicating with them what each of you wants and how that would work. Because children are involved, you'll need to be mindful of their needs as well. It could be a good thing for them if the other coupme provides additonal caring mentors to the kids.


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