Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   Poly... ish... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=14839)

Auguststeam 09-22-2011 01:00 PM

Poly... ish...
We are a fun loving, open-minded, happy couple new to the "title" of polyamory...have always wanted to try new things together, we do live in the south, so the "black stripe" me the flag of polyamory has kept us on our toes so to speak. Looking to network and connect with like minded people.:D

ImaginaryIllusion 09-22-2011 02:29 PM

Welcome to the Forum.

Auguststeam 09-22-2011 03:34 PM

Thank-you, my wife and I are currently reading your how did I get here and where an I going thread.. its a good read..

ImaginaryIllusion 09-22-2011 09:11 PM

Geeze, jumping in the deep end eh?! :p

Glad you're enjoying it, and hope you'll find something relevant to help you on your own journeys. (Even if it ends up being a cure for insomnia. ;) )

nycindie 09-23-2011 08:36 AM

Hi and welcome!


Originally Posted by Auguststeam (Post 103306)
. . . we do live in the south, so the "black stripe" me the flag of polyamory has kept us on our toes so to speak.

What does that mean?

Auguststeam 09-23-2011 01:29 PM

In Jim Evans polyamory pride flag Blue - The openness and honesty among all partners. Red - Love and passion. Black - Solidarity with those who must hide their relationships due to social pressures. And its suppose to say of the flag, not me the flag,my phone doesn't like the word 'of'..lol... I should have been more specific...lol... Because my wife and I both have previous marriages, with children, and we live in the south, the idea of polyamory could cause some disturbances with our ex-others. We have to use a "pen" name on here to keep people at bay. We would love, to and plan on exchanging email with friends.. we just, sadly, have to keep on our tiptoes... :)

nycindie 09-23-2011 01:55 PM

Well, you are not the only folks from the south who are members here, so I'm sure you will find others who can relate to having to fly under the radar.

(Didn't know there was such a thing as a poly flag. I don't know who Jim Evans is, but I do know that many people have tried to come up with some kind of symbol for poly and I'm so glad that there isn't anything "official" like that.)

Auguststeam 09-25-2011 02:02 AM


Originally Posted by nycindie (Post 103428)
I do know that many people have tried to come up with some kind of symbol for poly and I'm so glad that there isn't anything "official" like that.)

Really? That's interesting. May we ask why you reject the symbolism? Just curious, because symbols are such a large part of the human psyche.... Even from the first established civilizations, symbols have helped us relate or identify with (insert representation here). The cross, the fish, the rainbow, astrological symbols, elemental symbols, Hell the American flag ( or any other country for that matter), etc, are all symbols that represent an idea, thought, feeling, or combination of. I could not having a preference, but to reject the idea of something official is intriguing...

nycindie 09-25-2011 05:57 AM

Because there are so many ways to live polyamorously!!

I don't want to co-opt your intro thread, but since you asked...

If there's some kind of flag to wave and a symbol that somehow becomes generally acknowledged to represent polyfolk, there will certainly be ideas and assumptions that go with it and most of them will either be wrong, or blanket generalizations that simply cannot apply to everyone who is poly. I don't want to be lumped into some category people will make up about what they think my life must be because they've seen a symbol and been told it represents some idea of "The Poly Lifestyle."™ Not that I spend much time worrying about how people would judge me, but I'd rather not swim upstream if I can help it. I think a symbol furthers the notion that having multiple relationships is weird and abnormal, because it means we belong to some subculture that is separate from everyone else.

How can a symbol represent a very diverse group anyway? It's no wonder there have been so many designs and none have stuck for good.

As it is, I don't usually use the word polyamory to describe how I want to live because most people have incorrect ideas about it. They think I'm a swinger, that I just want threesomes, that I can't be straight, that I'm not into commitment or long-term relationships, and so on. So, I have to start off talking about exclusivity and then non-monogamy before even mentioning the p-word. I just want to be assessed and related to at face value for who I am, not some idea people might assume about me because I belong to an unconventional "club" with a symbol and a flag. That's about it.

Auguststeam 10-05-2011 06:01 PM

We were just wondering, and thank you for your insite.:)

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