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-   -   Compersion... am I the only one who dislikes the word? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=14737)

Hardison 09-20-2011 12:40 AM

Compersion... am I the only one who dislikes the word?
 
I'm not talking about the concept, it is a great concept, it's the word itself. I hate it.

It doesn't flow off the tounge very well, it's kinda ugly and I just can't stand the look/sound of it.

The adjective frubbly and the noun frubbles are slightly better, but perhaps too informal in some cases.

I also hate that the word compersion has it's origins in a cultish commune. (when Oberon Zell calls it a cult you know it's pretty cultish... most average folk would consider CAW to be one) It makes it very hard to imagine talking to someone unfamiliar with Poly and not having them think I'm even more crazy when that comes up.

NeonKaos 09-20-2011 12:48 AM

Me too. Except I think that "frubbly" is stupider.

I'm not sure if I follow your last paragraph all the way through to the end, and I think I'd like to keep it that way. Please do not explain it to me.

nycindie 09-20-2011 01:04 AM

I recall when I first read the word "compersion," I thought it was a typo. I thought it was supposed to be either compassion or comparison, and that whoever wrote it was stupid. Then I really disliked it when I found out it was actually a poly-specific made-up word. I tried to think of how to make an adjustment to it somehow, to be more palatable, but couldn't come up with anything.

I have since grown to like it, and I really don't know why.

As for frubbles and frubbly, I refuse to acknowledge them. If anyone uses them, I think they are being moronic and childish, and my respect for them goes down a few notches. What, are we all living in a Bambi cartoon? They are absolutely a million-billion times worse than compersion!

AutumnalTone 09-20-2011 02:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hardison (Post 102911)
I'm not talking about the concept, it is a great concept, it's the word itself. I hate it.

I agree. It's not a well-turned word.

Quote:

The adjective frubbly and the noun frubbles are slightly better, but perhaps too informal in some cases.
Those two are just dumb as fuck. Whomever came up with those needs swatted with a rolled up newspaper.

Quote:

(when Oberon Zell calls it a cult you know it's pretty cultish... most average folk would consider CAW to be one)
I'd have to say that anybody who thinks the Church of All Worlds is a cult has no clue what a cult is--thinking something is a cult simply because one has no clue what it is smacks of gross bigotry.


So, yeah, I'd rather a different word jump up to convey the meaning.

AnnabelMore 09-20-2011 03:38 AM

I don't have a problem with the word compersion, but we do already have a very similar word in our vocabulary -- empathy. From Merriam-Webster:

2 : the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also : the capacity for this

nycindie 09-20-2011 04:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore (Post 102939)
I don't have a problem with the word compersion, but we do already have a very similar word in our vocabulary -- empathy.

I thought compersion was being happy for your partner being happy with someone else. I've always heard it described as "the opposite of jealousy." That's not exactly empathy.

AnnabelMore 09-20-2011 05:23 AM

It seems to me thay compersion is maybe one flavor of empathy. Like, you can empathize with someone's anger and get angry for them, you can empathize with someone's sadness and feel sad that they're sad, and you can also empathize with their happiness about love and feel happy for them. The last of which would be compersion. But yeah, it's a lot less specific.

nycindie 09-20-2011 05:42 AM

Okay, yeah -- now that makes sense to me!

River 09-20-2011 01:46 PM

Compersion has come to be in such popular usage that it has even made its way into some dictionaries (IIRC). It is becoming like QWERTY keyboards. It's becoming difficult to replace. Not impossible, though. If a bunch of well read writers worked hard on it, collaboratively and intelligently, it may be doable, especially if the alternative word is pretty.

Senga 09-20-2011 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore (Post 102949)
It seems to me thay compersion is maybe one flavor of empathy. Like, you can empathize with someone's anger and get angry for them, you can empathize with someone's sadness and feel sad that they're sad, and you can also empathize with their happiness about love and feel happy for them. The last of which would be compersion. But yeah, it's a lot less specific.

This is pretty much the best description that matches how I feel. Usually when I care about someone I can feel all of those 'flavors'. As though they were an extention of myself.

maybe use the word "happy" as a root to come up with another descriptor? hmm now all I can think of is the word 'gay' :)

Here is wikipedia's definition...
Compersion is a state of empathetic happiness and joy experienced when an individual's current or former romantic partner experiences happiness and joy through an outside source, including, but not limited to, another romantic interest.


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