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-   -   Husband Update! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=14468)

IrisAwakened 09-12-2011 01:25 PM

Husband Update!
 
Just an update. My husband has been trying to avoid the poly talk (subconsciously, I think). I keep cornering him and gently bringing it up. I talked with him last night (for a while), but it helped that I voiced my concerns that I thought he was avoiding it. Also that it wasn't going away, that I was going to be poly either way, and I would rather he had some sort of say in the parameters. After a few hypotheticals, I asked him to choose some person for our life to have a threesome with. He really liked that hypothetical, and I think it opened his mind a little for his opportunities.

Today, after trying to read some Mono help resources, he basically said he didn't need that stuff because he didn't think he would stay mono. If I am poly, he wants to be too! I told him that was great news and might make things easier on him. Awesome!

I know we are in no way out of the woods, or anything close but I can see a glimmer of hope for us and our poly adventure!

Magdlyn 09-12-2011 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IrisAwakened (Post 101874)
. After a few hypotheticals, I asked him to choose some person for our life to have a threesome with. He really liked that hypothetical, and I think it opened his mind a little for his opportunities.

I am glad the idea of a FMF 3way sparked his interest in poly, b/c he sees "whats in it for him." But, a word of caution. Finding a hot bi babe for a couple to "share" rarely works. Do a tag search here on unicorns to see how often these arrangements crash and burn. Usually the girl you attempt to share forms a deeper emotional/sexual connection with one or the other of the couple, and then all hell breaks loose. It seems in theory for a way for a couple to stay connected and to share things, to avoid jealousy, but it usually backfires because the other woman has needs and preferences of her own, which are unpredictable.

Quote:

Today, after trying to read some Mono help resources, he basically said he didn't need that stuff because he didn't think he would stay mono. If I am poly, he wants to be too! I told him that was great news and might make things easier on him. Awesome!

I know we are in no way out of the woods, or anything close but I can see a glimmer of hope for us and our poly adventure!
Good progress!

IrisAwakened 09-12-2011 10:29 PM

Thanks for the tip! Yeah I am not sure if that would ever happen, but the idea that he is considering it is immense. Also, I told him, "If you can find a girl to have a threesome with, and shes not a B##, I am in" My thought is that this will be a near impossible thing to find. I am not sure that we would even be looking for anything serious at this point in time. It is completely up to him. But he is cool with me "dating" in a friendly, no touching way. So that is what I am doing. If a Unicorn falls into our lap (no pun intended), that would be awesome, but I am def not holding my breath!

nycindie 09-12-2011 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IrisAwakened (Post 101956)
". . . and shes not a B##, I am in"

What's a B##? A Bitch? You can say naughty words on this board. We're all grown-ups and it's allowed. :D

AnnabelMore 09-13-2011 01:01 AM

So wait, you'll have sex with any woman who's not a bitch? Would you have sex with any man who's not an asshole? I mean, I don't wanna nitpick your choices, but it's kinda weird that your preferences wouldn't come into play when it comes to someone you'd be going to bed with...

AnnabelMore 09-13-2011 01:08 AM

Also, why would a chick who's not a bitch and is interested in a threesome be a near impossible thing to find? A unicorn is a hard thing to find... a woman who is unattached and wants to be exclusive with a couple and is healthy and sane and has realistic expectations especially... but a lovely lady for a threesome? If you don't live somewhere utterly isolated, they're out there.


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