Polyamory.com Forum

Polyamory.com Forum (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/index.php)
-   Poly Relationships Corner (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=4)
-   -   New confused and looking to learn (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=14156)

jotajuntoajota 09-03-2011 05:54 PM

New confused and looking to learn
 
hi there everyone new to the concept of poly even thu the more i read and learn,the more i realize i guess iv always bin kind of poly in some ways. i was intruduced to poly and what it is from my current girlfriend,as time has past shes tried to tell me i should have another girlfriend, i asked why and she says so she can give me the things she says she can..why would she say this. truth is we are very diferent in may ways and im ok with that in fact i love that about our relationship.! but the problem is we get into arguments about lil things like id like her to go out with me sometimes or go to a concert she has but lets say its bin not much or more like we may go out once ever month and a half im not a big fan of that. truth be told id like to enjoy more things with her. her remedy is for me to find another girlfriend to go out with and she will be the home girlfriend shes given me the green light on this many times,but i don ever go tru with it why u may ask ..well i dont think its how u fix things,im very into growing into poly with her i love and adore her and i do belive it will help us grow in love and spirit but not at the expense of using it to fix something ... id like to get some feed back on this like i said im new to this and would like to know what is the right course of accion here ..THANKS AHEAD OF TIME ...

redpepper 09-04-2011 12:21 AM

Hi :)

I'm not sure I understand the issue. She says she would be okay with you having another girlfriend, but you don't want one, you want to spend more time with her. Is she not getting that or does she not want to? It seems like there might be an imbalance of interest in each other or perhaps time for each other. You don't have to have another girlfriend as far as I see it. You could just have more friends. It sounds like she could pay more attention to your need for more time too.

jotajuntoajota 09-04-2011 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 100527)
Hi :)

I'm not sure I understand the issue. She says she would be okay with you having another girlfriend, but you don't want one, you want to spend more time with her. Is she not getting that or does she not want to? It seems like there might be an imbalance of interest in each other or perhaps time for each other. You don't have to have another girlfriend as far as I see it. You could just have more friends. It sounds like she could pay more attention to your need for more time too.




i guess she thinks if i have another girlfriend she will feel less pressed to go out more ...and i eventualy would like to but not for that reason id like to cuz the other person would be part of our fam and we would love that person we both have the same view of this but i guess i feel like id be doing something wrong and finding someone to just fill that gap ..that makes me feel selfish i guess ..and my girl friend is ok with it to the point of us all sharing our bed and home if even from time to time i guess since its new to me im having a hard time figuring it all out


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:45 AM.