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-   -   My husband says he is poly., but Im not sure.... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13975)

Lucia 08-28-2011 09:20 PM

My husband says he is poly., but Im not sure....
 
Hi.

I am struggling if my husband is really poly.
I red few artical, and its say they love their gfs or wife equarly.

My husband and I just got married, known him 6yrs. I know he likes girls, but I didnt know he is poly.

since we married, he fall in love with other girl who is 20yrs students.
His attention goes to her all the time. he didnt tell me he loves her too, untill we fellin apart. since then he was awful to me. mentally abuse, sexaully abuse, harrasmets.

Now He wants us to live together, but I dont think i can do that. So i said to him, I understand you love her, but I want to have separate life which is me and his, his gf and his.

at the morment, his gf having difficult time. so i try to be understand his attention goes to her. but again he seems to doesnt want to be with me.
he doesnt want to plan for date, having dinner with me, doesnt want to sex with me. not really honest about her. He said he want to be honest about her, but he just hiding about everything such as meet her up or stay her place, chat, etc.
OK, he may try to not hurting me.

but no sending text nor phone call to me...
doesnt feel he care about me...
even I dont know He really loves me anymore....
I still love my hubby to a bits.

does poly poeple do that those thing?

I am sorry if there are spelling and grammer wrong,,,,
I'm not native english....so please ask me if you dont understand...
thank you.

MichelleZed 08-28-2011 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucia (Post 99508)
since then he was awful to me. mentally abuse, sexaully abuse, harrasmets.

Oh, my, that's very serious! Do you want to talk with us about that?

You don't deserve to be abused. I hope you know that.

pamelag088 08-28-2011 09:59 PM

Im so sorry to read these awful things have been happening to you.
I am new to this site and am in no way an expert but it seems to me that he is trying to have his cake and eat it. I dont think he is treating you in a way that shows he loves you at all. How does the young girl feel about you being part of their relationship?

Lucia 08-28-2011 10:06 PM

to MichelleZed

I know I dont deserve to be abused.
I just wondering, if poly poeple can be like him....
I meant, I dont think he did know he is poly,,,, He is also struggling?

well,,, I wasnt really sure thats mentally abuse...
When he said to me move out, If i dont he will, I went to his parents house, and told them about it. His mum said, those are abuse.
Now I feel sorry to him, I shouldnt told about it to his parent....

He is try to nice to me now,,,
He said it was wrong, it was his fualt....
still, gets grumpy and stuff.
because he cant be that much grumpy with anyone else...

MichelleZed 08-28-2011 10:09 PM

It's true that one of the good things about being married is that you have someone to be grumpy with. :)

But what kind of grumpy do you mean? What does he do when he's grumpy?

And no, this isn't a "normal" way for poly people to behave. From what I can tell, poly people tend to value respect, honesty, and communication between partners.

NeonKaos 08-28-2011 10:13 PM

I don't knowl where you live, but I hope you have people around you who will support YOU because you have bigger problems than whether or not for your husband's girlfriend to move in with you.

Lucia 08-28-2011 10:14 PM

to Pamelag088

I really dont know what she is thinking about it now.
Before, My hubby said she is struggling that idea of poly-relationship.
but she wants to have long trem relationship with him. and they are in relationship.

she comes in our home when i was not there.
text, phone call, chat to him all the time....
I dont think she care about me at all.

Lucia 08-28-2011 10:16 PM

to MichelleZed

I know I dont deserve to be abused.
I just wondering, if poly poeple can be like him....
I meant, I dont think he did know he is poly,,,, He is also struggling?

well,,, I wasnt really sure thats mentally abuse...
When he said to me move out, If i dont he will, I went to his parents house, and told them about it. His mum said, those are abuse.
Now I feel sorry to him, I shouldnt told about it to his parent....

He is try to nice to me now,,,
He said it was wrong, it was his fualt....
still, gets grumpy and stuff.
because he cant be that much grumpy with anyone else...

Lucia 08-28-2011 10:21 PM

to MichelleZed

He is just saying leave him alone, doesnt want to talk to me, i guess.

when he is in mood to talk about it, most the time he is very drunk.
we talk, but things that i dont agree with, he just, start bit shouty, or reject me.

Lucia 08-28-2011 10:26 PM

to NeonKaos

Iam living in the same house with my hubby.
his gf was live here too, but now she has to move out, becouse i told his mum about it.
that make him grumpy too. basically me and his mum kick her out, thats he thinks.....
He said He cant say to her to stay out house, thats make him unhelpful.


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