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-   -   Is talking/flirting with strangers acceptable for many of you? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13904)

yul 08-26-2011 12:32 AM

Is talking/flirting with strangers acceptable for many of you?
 
Hello, I am just curious.

I have a strong tendency to talk to girls that I find attractive. I have been doing this all my life (mainly when single and somewhat now as well).

Now I am in a LTR and slowly opening up the relationship but want to know about what level of liberties other people find acceptable.

From many I read here that poly came by accident or something beyond their control (such as a friendship that evolved).

In my case, I have no such relations but like to explore other avenues, not necessarily sexual but like to get intimate with other people.

Therefore, I am severely tempted to approach women in the street, supermarket, bars etc when we exchange glances, smiles etc and get their facebook etc...

This has worked for me in the past but wonder how you people would react to this?

If am very much committed to my SO but am very excited at the idea of flirting and such and meeting new people.

If my SO were to do something like this, I would probably be somewhat worried but I think I could deal with that since I now she loves me very much.

Thanks!

Inyourendo 08-26-2011 01:10 AM

Well DH and I are both flirtatious people by nature. So for us it's acceptable and any SO we get with will have to accept that,

IsntLifeFun 08-26-2011 02:07 AM

My gf (don't really thinks she needs that titlte, but what else do I refer to her as?), anyway, she's very flirty, it's in her nature. I just remind myself of that occasionally.
I can be too, I just learned not to be after being married for so long and wanting to prevent myself from having any feelings for anyone else. Fuck that :) I'm going to be me.

nycindie 08-26-2011 02:26 AM

I have always been a flirt and always will be a flirt. Same for my ex-husband. Neither of us ever felt weird about that, flirting and having attractions is natural and healthy. Whether I'm in a mono or poly relationship, that won't change. The only difference is that, when you're poly, possibilities are there that weren't before and you can follow through and let someone know you're serious (if you are). Whatever type of committed relationship you're in, you act appropriate to the situation. Just because a relationship is now opened up doesn't mean you have to try to pick people up or nail anything that moves.

Moonglow 08-26-2011 02:46 AM

I am that way with certain people too. I have to reel myself back sometimes. :) I like to learn about people and try to find a common ground. I guess I am always looking for any kind of a connection.

Silly. :)

BrigidsDaughter 08-28-2011 01:12 AM

I flirt subconsciously.... Am I breathing? I am probably flirting. I generally do not mean it the way that some would think.... I do not desire any more lovers, but I do enjoy knowing that I am still attractive.

RunicWolf 08-28-2011 02:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrigidsDaughter (Post 99426)
I flirt subconsciously.... Am I breathing? I am probably flirting. I generally do not mean it the way that some would think.... I do not desire any more lovers, but I do enjoy knowing that I am still attractive.

I'm the same way for the most part. I don't mean to do it most of the time, but I tend to flirt. A lot. Thankfully reality usually checks me. ;) I don't mind my wife flirting, but sometimes I've got to get her to check herself when someone takes it the wrong way.

BrigidsDaughter 08-28-2011 03:14 AM

Yeah, but that's because I don't buy into my own hype; that is to say, I don't believe I am as attractive as people say I am and unless the person flirting with me knows the real me, I am oblivious to their attentions or intentions.

DrunkenPorcupine 08-28-2011 07:03 AM

The only one who can really answer that is your SO, truthfully.

For me, I don't care. If one of my partners is flirting, I'm hoping that she gets some response. I think she's amazing, having others recognize it is kinda cool for me.

Myself, I don't flirt. I've always found it annoying. I just live and do whatever. My relationships always spring from close friendships and always when I'm not looking for one, so it's just not my "weapon of choice". :)

Allstar 08-29-2011 11:49 PM

I am a huge flirt. It comes with the terrority of being in the military and being a dancer. My gf is ok with this. I was that way before. I tend to stop when I am in a relationship but since she is poly I have free reign on this aspect of my life.


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