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-   -   Omniamory (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13800)

redpepper 08-22-2011 03:50 AM

Omniamory
 
Omniamorous- enjoying being in either poly or monogamous relationships.

I Just read this in a FB group I am in and wondered if this is something that others know something about. This kind of makes sense to me as some people are in a poly "lifestyle" because it is convenient right now, or because they want to date... they might settle into monogamy if the right person came by... perhaps they would consider identifying as omniamorous if it were used more often? I dunno.... thoughts?

Bahalana 08-22-2011 07:06 AM

I have not heard of it, but I think I like it. Though I suppose its just another example of mankinds innate drive to explore, understand, and subsequently categorize and define. At least now were exploring more of the inner workings of ourselves.

I would feel remiss however, if I didn't take this opportunity to propose some classifications that this inspired me to think of.

Herbiamorous- enjoying being in loving relationships with plants. Along with Monoherbiamorous, Omniherbiamorous, and Polyherbiamorous. Not to be confused with Agoraherbiamorous- enjoying being in loving relationships with out door plants.

Maybe someday unicorns will grow on trees, or trees that will agree to be faithful will be called unicorn trees. Either way I can't wait.

SNeacail 08-22-2011 07:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 98530)
This kind of makes sense to me as some people are in a poly "lifestyle" because it is convenient right now, or because they want to date... they might settle into monogamy if the right person came by... perhaps they would consider identifying as omniamorous if it were used more often? I dunno.... thoughts?

Or are in a mono lifestyle because it is convenient, but if the right person were to enter their life, they would welcome a poly lifestyle.

TruckerPete 08-22-2011 01:20 PM

But I thought poly was simply the ablity to love more than one? So if they can do that, then they're poly. No one says you HAVE to love more than one if you're capable of it. Perhaps that makes "omniamory" a sub-type of poly?

I have to admit, when I see new, super-specific terms coined I can't help but think, "Yes, let's make it even more difficult for the world at large to understand us ... " :(

AutumnalTone 08-22-2011 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 98530)
Omniamorous ... thoughts?

Ugh. I think far too many people take a shallow and immature approach to the use of terms. Decrying the use of "labels" as if words force behaviors instead of merely describing behaviors.

There's not a damn thing about the term "polyamorous" that prohibits somebody from choosing a monogamous relationship. I have been polyamorous since adolescence AND I have been involved in some monogamous relationships. The fact that I committed to an exclusive pairing did nothing to change the fact that I preferred non-exclusive relationships.

For folks who don't identify as poly and sometimes engage in multiple relationships, they can describe their current relationships as either poly or mono without need of any weird term that doesn't really indicate much of anything. Srsly--if somebody says they're omni, is that going to indicate they're currently in a mono arrangement? No. Neither does it indicate current poly arrangements. The term offers no useful information.

NeonKaos 08-22-2011 02:47 PM

I think the term is incorrect. "omni" means "everything" and i dont think there is anyone out there who loves everything, or everyone.

nycindie 08-22-2011 05:00 PM

Whoever dreamed up this ridiculous word, omniamorous, is someone who sees people as either/or and is trying to say that there are some who can be both. This actually fosters more divisiveness than not. Why are people so hung up on labels rather than just paying attention to how they treat the people in their lives instead?

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 98530)
This kind of makes sense to me as some people are in a poly "lifestyle" because it is convenient right now, or because they want to date... they might settle into monogamy if the right person came by...

This is not the first time you've stated this, RP, and I find it a bit irritating. It seems you are saying that only the people who individually identify as poly ("wired that way") are really doing it right, and are truly poly, while others who see poly as a relationship structure they have chosen are somehow not serious enough and are just fooling around with poly out of "convenience" or until something better comes along. I feel that is very dismissive.

NeonKaos 08-22-2011 05:23 PM

Maybe this is a bit off-topic and belongs in the thread about divisiveness, but we can rearrange copy-pasta any old time round these parts.

What i want to add to nyc's comment is that i find it insipid and wishy-washy when people try to agree just for the sake of fostering harmony. To me this smacks of dysfunctionality and denial.

That is all for this post.

AutumnalTone 08-22-2011 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nycindie (Post 98587)
Why are people so hung up on labels and "wiring" and just pay attention to how they treat the people in their lives instead?
.

I suspect that most of the folks hung up on "labels" have such a problem with terms because they don't really understand what the terms mean or, at least, haven't thought it through. They take a term and hang lots of detritus on it well beyond its meaning. They take a term that means "X" and claim it means "X+Y+Z" and thus it's a bad, bad term. In this instance, they ascribe extra meanings to "polyamorous" and insist that a new term is needed.

Polyamorous refers to having multiple, romantic relationships as a form of ethical nonmonogamy. One can identify as polyamorous, meaning one has a preference for having multiple romances at once, or one can simply engage in polyamorous arrangements without having any strong preference for such. Anybody--whether identifying as poly or not--can engage in poly arrangements or mono arrangements and simply say so. There is absolutely nothing about the term "polyamory" that precludes monogamous relationships.

I, who identify as polyamorous, can have monogamous or polyamorous relationships as I see fit. Neon Kaos, who does not identify as polyamorous, can engage in polyamorous arrangements or monogamous arrangements as she sees fit. The use of the term "polyamory" in no fashion affects any of that--it is a term that describes an approach to romantic relationships and doesn't preclude anything.

So "poly" is not some restrictive, prescriptive, proscriptive bogeyman of a word that imprisons people so that they need saving by another term.

redpepper 08-22-2011 06:16 PM

I'm irritating huh? And seem dismissive and what was it? Disrespectful? Meh, sorry you see it that way. The fact is that some people do use poly "dating" as an interim term between monogamous arrangements. Not everyone, but they do. If someone doesn't then they can say so.

I've been here long enough that I feel I can start discussing some of the stuff that is more specific. If that seems dismissive, disrespectful etc. then you obviously don't know me that well NYC. A bit of a surprise there actually. If it isn't of interest to discuss the subtle nuances of how people use the word "poly" without thinking that there is some big agenda of mine behind it then don't engage me in conversation about it.

Sorry, I don't mean to sound grumpy about it but really? I don't give that much of a shit what people do and I have no interest in convincing anyone that they should do it my way. If I were poly "dating" many people until I find "the one" and said what I said I wonder if it would be an issue? Likely not.

Maybe I need to clarify each time I bring up dating that "some" people find the word poly; apply it because its kinda catchy right now and use it to be more responsible/ethical in their dating practices because they either don't think they will find monogamy again or want to be in the "lifestyle" of poly until they do.... Would that help at all?

Or maybe I should also add each time that some people use the word "poly" to cover up their cheating and be more palatable to people they might have an affair with. That might work also... I will have a lot of writing to do. :p not too surprising. No wonder most poly's I know are not interested in discussing this stuff. Its arduous.


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