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-   -   new wrinkle (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13309)

dingedheart 08-11-2011 02:40 PM

new wrinkle
 
My current situation has changed.... my wife who I'm separated from who lives in another city wants desperately to reenter my life...."wants to dedicate the rest of her life making it up to me and the kids" She chance to meet and spend time repair ...

The wrinkle ....I'm dating a couple other women currently. On principal that will no stop or be effected. I have never in all my years broken up with someone and then later reestablished the relationship ....When its done I move on ...never look back ....so I'm in uncharted waters. This is not my idea and I'm not really all the interested in doing this but she seems so shattered and destroyed it seems almost cruel to summarily dismiss the proposal. Has anyone dated an ex spouse ???? What's should be the new mind set?

Footnote.... for the people who say that the sex with one partner is not better but different.....Liars.... same code for blind dates ....he/she has great personality ...meaning ...fat, plain or homely. The 45yr personal trainer is hands down a sexual technician. 5 star rating in that area.

NeonKaos 08-11-2011 03:44 PM

I think you should re-date your wife only if she promises in writing (notarized) to refund all the money you spend on her if it doesn't work out (including your time pro-rated according to what you would be spending on other women and/or earning at your job). If she won't sign that contract, fuck her and the horse she rode out on.

TruckerPete 08-11-2011 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeonKaos (Post 96825)
fuck her and the horse she rode out on.

But only after she gets some tips from the personal trainer.

SNeacail 08-11-2011 04:11 PM

I think "dating" would be a bit much, but she is the mother of your children so figuring out how to be friends again wouldn't be out of the question.

SNeacail 08-11-2011 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by truckerpete (Post 96830)
but only after she gets some tips from the personal trainer.

lmao

TruckerPete 08-11-2011 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dingedheart (Post 96822)
This is not my idea and I'm not really all the interested in doing this but she seems so shattered and destroyed it seems almost cruel to summarily dismiss the proposal.

What's worse than rejecting someone because you're not interested? Dating them so you don't hurt their feelings.

NeonKaos 08-11-2011 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TruckerPete (Post 96830)
But only after she gets some tips from the personal trainer.


You are right. I should have checked with sour girl before i went and said that.

SourGirl 08-11-2011 05:45 PM

I think it`s to soon, to know if you are still interested in your wife or not. It is still very fresh hurt that you are dealing with.

Maybe,...another 6 months ? Who knows.

While you still lack respect,..not good. Maybe attempt friendship when you are ready, see if you feel mutual respect growing between you both, through new interactions first.

Otherwise, you`ll not ever trust her.
And, she will never trust you.

If you want to keep fucking the new toys, just be honest with all about it. Don`t get cornered into any low-level commitments if you dont want them.

SourGirl 08-11-2011 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeonKaos (Post 96842)
You are right. I should have checked with sour girl before i went and said that.

Am I offering advice for fucking people who ride in on horses,..or ? :p

affablegreen 08-11-2011 06:21 PM

Not to be harsh, but...
 
This quote stopped me cold:

"dedicate the rest of her life making it up to me and the kids"

I am new here and do not know your story at all, but that phrase makes me shudder. Who would say that and really mean it? And if they did, I sure wouldn't want it for them or for you. What a train wreck of a phrase.

If you want it, I would tell her that you can be friends. Meet in neutral, public places. Go bowling. I would not enter into a romantic relationship. Anyone who says something like that needs a really good therapist.


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