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-   -   Conflicts, Jealousy, & Time Management (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=12974)

SlikkNikk 08-03-2011 10:29 AM

Conflicts, Jealousy, & Time Management
Not sure if anyone remembers me but i am the girlfriend of 'polytriad' and his wife 'wifey' on this site. i wanna learn more about how to handle conflicts, jealousy and time management (we have 3time (as we call it) down, but need to work on one on one time and maybe even alone time which i am sure can sometimes happen simultaneously. i just began reading 'Opening up' at my boyfriends suggestion and i been looking on this and other poly sites yet i welcome any tips, comments or suggestions. my inquiring is applicable to my overall relationship as a whole as opposed to focus of one partner cause we all need this education in one facet or another. hopefully while addressing time, including one on one time we will help alleviate the volume of these negative emotions however i know it will remain an issue to work on.

NeonKaos 08-03-2011 12:04 PM

What are the "negative emotions" you speak of. The general consensus seems to be that emotions are not good or bad, and it's not healthy to just "get rid of" them but to examine them closely and figure out what they mean from the inside. This leads to something called self-awareness, which leads to better communication. Do you suppose that this lack of one-on-one and alone-time IS the issue, or is it something else? Because i recall that you folks were really forcing this triad, and that you and the wife really were trying to have your "separate" (for lack of a better choice of word) relationship so that she could feel comfortable about you and the husband/boyfriend getting it on. Where you folks at with that?

redpepper 08-04-2011 07:18 AM

I wrote this in a PM tonight on jealousy... perhaps it will help answer one of the three for you.

Jealousy is the result of having fear and insecurity that goes beyond the actual perceived cause of jealousy. If you can break down your emotions into several ones then you can look at each and work with them. Jealousy is not one emotion. If you find out the root of the issues then you can walk through them and usually the jealousy subsides the more understanding you have.... I have written this on many threads over and over again... but the threads that I would read are KatTail's and Mohegan's (blogs and threads) and the thread called "poly lessons we have learned"

It sounds like you have done some of this... maybe more?

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