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-   -   An Epiphany (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=12791)

Moonglow 07-29-2011 10:37 PM

An Epiphany
I just had this thought about my experience with polyamory. I still consider myself something of a newbie... I made this decision to go into the relationship that I had last year with my eyes open and I risked my marriage and everything, but we all survived. Now I think about the individual and I wonder to myself, why did I fall so hard and of course I guess I am just bitter now. It has taken me all this time to recover and I wonder if I will ever feel the wonder of love ever again? I know this will sound really bad, but he was such a difficult, selfish individual and I feel like I wasted this precious gift. I am so fortunate that everything turned out the way it did but I think wow, what a waste. What a shame. Can I have a do-over? :)

Anyways if I am ever fortunate to find this again, I hope it is with someone who I won't have regrets again. :)


Edited to say... I love my DH, but I guess I am thinking like the NRE, stuff like that. I guess there are no guarantees that you will end up in a no regret LTR. :) Except with my amazing DH!

SourGirl 07-29-2011 11:09 PM

Don`t regret it, regardless.

If you feel resentful, let yourself feel it. If you feel bitter,..feel it.
Think to yourself as many nasty name-calling things as you can, vent to someone else,..whatever you need to do.

..but once some time passes, let yourself take the lessons. All relationships teach us something about ourselves. Especially in poly, where (thankfully) books cant totally brainwash us,...the relationships themselves teach us.

So you had a relationship that didn`t work out. A first poly relationship.

You now have the realization, that you might not of known exactly what you wanted or needed going into that, but in the aftermath, I bet you are a lot closer to knowing what you want and need. :)

You have learned, and you now have experience.

You are a armed person, in that way. :)

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