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-   -   Talk me out of/into it (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=12518)

Ism 07-23-2011 04:31 AM

Talk me out of/into it
 
Hey

I have always been interested in poly
but long term
it would be great to meet a bunch of women serially who were ok with me having a bunch of sex with a bunch of other women and coming back to have sex with them. Thing is i would want those women to be absolutley loyal and faithful to me. It would be fantastic if the women in my fantasy world would introduce me to their hot friends. Those friend would in turn become so infatuated with me that they too would only want to share their bodies and lives with me and only me.

I'm a pretty good lover btw

Now I have gotten older, I approach 50 now, only a couple years to go. Now my perfect situation has changed.

Now I am thinking that me and two bi women would be perfect. I bet that in the worlrd of poly relationships that coupling or tripling has a name.

I come home after a hard days work to find two women who love me and each other.

Lets call the first woman Joanie and the second Mary.


Joanie is cooking, she found a recipie she likes and likes to cook and is trying something new. I'll cook tommorow and am determined to "show her" cuz I think I am as good a cook, maybe even better. I'm thinking something seared like beef and doing something with some red wine. It's afreindly compitition she can cook her ass off and so can I.
still she can't touch my veggie sauces.

Mary is locked on the tv, she's pissed at something washington has done said, CNN is on the TV and FOX on the computer.

I get home and kiss both women hello. Not a passinate let's do it kiss, but just a kiss like the one mono people do.


One of us takes a shower getting ready for bed and one or both of the others are turned on with the on coming out of the shower dripping wet and either all three or two of the three just bang till we're tired.


can I have that???

written without edits

Satisfiction 07-24-2011 09:12 AM

Sounds like you watch too much porn for me.

Breathesgirl 07-24-2011 11:19 AM

You could have it, yes. It's a lot of hard work though.

Things like communication, outside interests, respective family and friends, misunderstandings, LACK of communication (I'm sure there are other *things*) all lead to a rich, full life AND could also get in the way of having that 'fantasy' life you're dreaming of.

You MUST remember that the mundane parts of life (paying the bills, rent/mortgage, etc.) must all be dealt with as well.

I might write more in a bit, gotta think a little more.

Ism 07-25-2011 02:19 AM

that's what I'm talking about the mundane things

a situation where I'm part of a couple and we have a girlfriend doesn't appealt to me (much)

I mean a committed relationship hopefully even lifetime where there are three of us instead of two

why two bi women? cuz as much as Id love to be the center of attention what happens if both women are straight and have a limited relationship with each other that hindges on me and I tick one of them off

just seems too much to hope for

as far as the porn comment, I've not done THAT yet and if its just sex Id probably be worried too much about pleasing the two of them to enjoy it, but if there's love I could relax and enjoy

Midmandle 07-25-2011 09:24 PM

Okay, I don't know about that first part with all the women, etc.

But the latter question is certainly something you can have if you are willing to give and receive enough to maintain 2+ intimate relationships. It seems from this post that you are very focused on the physical part of such a relationship, but poly relationships are really not much different from mono couples when it comes to the intimacy between 2 individuals. All that physical infatuation won't maintain a relationship long term.

I am involved long term with 2 women who are also in love, so I know it is possible. But as others have said, it bears little resemblance to the fantasy that comes to mind for most people when they hear about it. It is just life, with the added challenges that come from having 3 intimate relationships in a household rather than 1.

And even the fantasy is not always easy. Physical intimacy ties deeply into people's feelings and self worth, and it is often a challenge to make sure everyone feels valued as a person while you are fulfilling this fantasy.

In the end, you can have anything you want, if you are strong enough.

If you ask me, it's worth it. Good luck!

redpepper 07-26-2011 02:20 AM

Its called a triad btw. Yes its possible, but very scarce. I'd start with looking for some like minded friends and go from their approaching this in a dating manner doesnt seem to work. This kind of thing evolves with time, investment and a whole 180 degree switch on how most of us have been raised to look at relationships. Start by educating your self and finding friends.

Ism 07-26-2011 02:22 AM

Ok, I must be saying this wrong.

I AM talking about a long term relationship(s). I am talking about sharing my/our deepest feelings, intamacies, bills, responsibilities, etc

Mine is not a porn fantasy, I only mention it because it seems it would happen every now and again, and from the outside it seems one of the perks of the poly lifestyle. I could be wrong. It's not that big a deal.

It just seems to me that finding myself in a relationship with two women I love and care about is just too much to hope for

I dont fantasize about two women to have sex, but for a more complete love.

I wouldn't want to assume a lifestyle that just afforded me guiltless indulgence, but I would embrace one that set aside the conventions of society and allowed one to seek out one's own happiness.

NeonKaos 07-26-2011 02:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ism (Post 93704)
Ok, I must be saying this wrong.

I AM talking about a long term relationship(s). I am talking about sharing my/our deepest feelings, intamacies, bills, responsibilities, etc

Mine is not a porn fantasy, I only mention it because it seems it would happen every now and again, and from the outside it seems one of the perks of the poly lifestyle. I could be wrong. It's not that big a deal.

It just seems to me that finding myself in a relationship with two women I love and care about is just too much to hope for

I dont fantasize about two women to have sex, but for a more complete love.

I wouldn't want to assume a lifestyle that just afforded me guiltless indulgence, but I would embrace one that set aside the conventions of society and allowed one to seek out one's own happiness.

Dude. You can fantasize about anything you want. You don't need permission from a bunch of strangers on the internet.

Minxxa 07-26-2011 03:08 PM

I think fantasy is fine, but I have found that having an ideal picture in your head of what you want (in a relationship or person) can get in the way of finding something REAL.

If you have a picture of X, Y, Z in your head... you might miss A and B because they don't look like what you want-- but maybe they are something great you never even thought of before.

I am finding in my life that if I focus on wanting a person, or an event to go a certain way-- there's no way it will end up that way and I end up being disappointed just because it doesn't match my fantasy. It's self-sabotage.

begin metaphoric rambling...

It's like going shopping with an idea of a specific item of clothing you're looking for. You may not find it for years, if at all -- it may be out of season, maybe nobody's desigining anything like that... and you might miss some really great items that fit you perfectly because you are so centered on this one idealized, fantasy item.

/metaphoric rambling

nycindie 07-26-2011 05:12 PM

This is a weird thread.


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