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-   -   Can I delete later if I want? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=12226)

Imapolygirlmaybe 07-15-2011 03:20 PM

Can I delete later if I want?
 
I'm new here. Would like to post my situation with details but I am not terribly comfortable doing that without first knowing if I can delete it later if I feel the need?

I read in one place on the site you can delete your own thread but then later on read something else that said "We are no obbligated to delete a thread you later regret posting."

Just wondered.

thanks

vixtresses 07-15-2011 03:28 PM

I think the rule is that you have 12 hours to edit a post. That would include the ability to delete it, although I don't know if actual deletion is permitted here (it isn't on another forum I'm on).

NeonKaos 07-15-2011 04:56 PM

You have 12 hours to edit or delete posts. That is more than enough time to sleep or sober up and figure out if you regret what you said.

Why would you post something in the first place if you know you're just gonna want to delete it later?

nycindie 07-15-2011 05:33 PM

Even if you don't edit or delete, use aliases or initials and don't write identifying details, like place names or specific events, etc.

It's easy enough to get the gist of your situation across without going into every little detail. Most problems can be boiled down to simple issues, anyway. Read some threads first, to see how it's done.

This forum's posts come up in Google searches, so use your brain about saying anything if you don't want to identify yourself or anyone else.

NeonKaos 07-15-2011 07:03 PM

I think some people secretly hope the people they are talking about will find their posts and read about themselves, especially during the heat of a crisis. Then, when the dust settles a bit and things start to go more smoothly, they go "o noez i wrote about it on teh internetz halp meh"

vixtresses 07-15-2011 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeonKaos (Post 92050)
I think some people secretly hope the people they are talking about will find their posts and read about themselves, especially during the heat of a crisis. Then, when the dust settles a bit and things start to go more smoothly, they go "o noez i wrote about it on teh internetz halp meh"

I guess that could be, but I also think that this is a place where you can discuss these topics with people who have experience with them. In real life, if you don't know any poly people, you can't get that experience or acceptance. A conversation is preferably in terms of privacy - the words come out, are exchanged, and then are gone. On the internet, the words come out and are there forever. There is of course the option of conversing via PM on a forum like this, but if you're new like me and haven't really made many connections with the folks here yet, that's not as much of an option, and it's likely one will get more feedback and input by posting on the boards. I just think that sometimes it is a bit discomforting to know that the words you put out there are going to be there forever... in a way I guess it's good, in that you have to really think about what you're going to say, but it is also somewhat limiting. But I guess that's part of the idea.

NeonKaos 07-15-2011 07:18 PM

That's the nature of the internet, and this forum is free and optional. If you tell someone personally or in private they can still blab it to all the world so discretion is always a good thing. If someone is that worried about their deepest darkest most private business being "on the internet forever" then they should reconsider how they say things and who they say it to.

Imapolygirlmaybe 07-17-2011 08:10 PM

I'm sorry I will be more clear about why.

I would like to post freely and honestly and not have to leave any thoughts or feelings out at all. That being said I DON'T want anyone involved to somehow stumble on this forum, read the post, think WOW that sounds familiar then be pissed off that I posted about it on the internet even though no one knows who we are.


That's the only reason I would delete something.

ImaginaryIllusion 07-17-2011 11:13 PM

Regardless of the reason, there's still only a 12 hour window to modify of delete posts.

Outside that window, it must simply be kept in mind that this forum is for adults, and adult discussions. On the outside chance that someone involved is able to decipher your posts, if you cannot trust them to respond in an adult fashion, then I would expect you have larger problems at hand which have nothing to do with the forum's 12 hour editing policy.

The policy is what it is...how you decide to post in accordance with that policy is up to you.

NeonKaos 07-17-2011 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Imapolygirlmaybe (Post 92376)
I'm sorry I will be more clear about why.

I would like to post freely and honestly and not have to leave any thoughts or feelings out at all. That being said I DON'T want anyone involved to somehow stumble on this forum, read the post, think WOW that sounds familiar then be pissed off that I posted about it on the internet even though no one knows who we are.


That's the only reason I would delete something.


This sort of thing does not make sense to me because (aside from what Imaginary Illusion said about having bigger problems than the 12-hour editing policy) if someone finds and reads it and then you delete it, that doesn't change the fact that they read it. Also, anything that is found in a google search can be read in the google cache for quite some time after ward, so even if you people delete their post from the forum, it could still be found and read.

This brings another interesting phenomenon to mind: people who are afraid of having their posts discovered by the people you're writing about... and afraid that those people will be mad that you wrote about them... But you already think these people are searching for your internet activity on Google. This is quite a convoluted communication dynamic. It sounds sort of stalkerish in a way... Just an observation.


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