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-   -   Thoughts (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1219)

Nyx 11-21-2009 10:26 PM

This was a response to an email Mono sent me and I thought I would share my response here just to...well, share!

"either way...yes i have not been on too much, though i do pop on and check on everyone occasionally. I have found that since Legion has been on it has felt like my posts are public arguments between he and I and so I have taken a step back. I have been exploring a few new love interests on my own and talking with them about relationships, etc. and I have been amazed at how closed off I really was in the past.

Being with Legion was painful, confusing, etc. but it has been very beneficial as well because I am broadening my understanding of myself and others. I have for a long time gone through the same patterns of relationships, pretty much the same situations over and over again have I played out over the years. I am glad to say that I realize I have a choice and no longer have to conform to those false notions anymore.

I am thankful for you and Redpepper as well because I have really followed your situation and though at first I started to idealize your relationship, I have learned more about you guys and respect that there are no perfect relationships and what appears to be perfect at first glance certainly isn't so. With imperfection, you guys have achieved a balance that makes sense to you. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else. And that is something I think about every day. Getting others' opinions first, then forming my own has been a mistake I have made for a long time. And I think I have ignored my own initial opinions too much!

I feel freer having been involved with poly this last year. Although I fought understanding at first because it was sooo unfamiliar - I was fearful that I would lose myself. But I have worked through it quite a bit and making my own decisions and values based on what I have learned." :)

MonoVCPHG 11-21-2009 11:30 PM

Thanks for sharing this Nyx :D

LovingRadiance 11-23-2009 05:37 AM

Nyx-that's wonderful.
You are right-no relationship is PERFECT.

It's not about getting what you want, it's wanting what you have as the song says!

I know watching Maca hurt has SUCKED. But watching him find himself has been SO wonderful!!!

I hope you keep finding new things about yourself, growing and maturing and enjoying the "new you" each day!

AutumnalTone 11-23-2009 05:18 PM

Please don't step back from the boards. Your commentary is as useful as everyone else's--and hearing from both sides of an ongoing relationship is always a good thing, particularly when the folks involved are honestly working on sorting things out.

Nyx 11-24-2009 07:03 AM

No, I don't think I will back off the boards completely. Thanks for your encouragement!

MonoVCPHG 11-24-2009 07:08 AM

Woohoo! Stick around Nyx...the party is just beginning ;)

redpepper 11-24-2009 07:14 AM

What! you are not coming back Nyx? Why??? what happened that would make you consider that? :confused:

boo hoo, that would suck. :(

Thanks for your post here. You are right, there is so much more that goes on behind the scenes. This is just a tid bit of info and sharing.... that is why I am so honoured when people want to share so much! It really is a great gift to us to witness peoples lives and have the opportunity to offer suggestions and opinions for them to consider. I feel truly blessed that I can be here.

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