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-   -   Learning all I can (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=12083)

Periwinkle 07-12-2011 01:35 AM

Learning all I can
Hello there! I'm here because I recently entered into a relationship with someone who identifies as polyamorous. As he means a lot to me and I know very little about polyamory, I am here to learn. The boyfriend and I have had this discussion and decided to be monogamous for now. I told him that if he got to know someone and had feelings for them, I'd want to know so I could at the least be friends with that person. Ideally I'd like to feel just as much for that person as I do for him. I've never had polyamorous tendencies (I guess you'd call them) but then again I've never really questioned it.
I love our relationship now but I want to be ready if something develops; to do that, I need to know more about myself and polyamory.

nycindie 07-12-2011 06:55 AM

Self-knowledge is always a good goal to have. Welcome!

sagency 07-12-2011 08:22 AM

It's a great sign that you're interested in learning more about poly folk. It turns out, we're a lot like normal people. ;). There is a ton of reading in these forums and elsewhere.

As long as you're here though, let me offer w few quick tips:
1) You can be a happy and healthy mono.with a happy and healthy poly.
2) Neither one if you is right or wrong as you are. You are just what you are.
3) Looking at the world as a poly if through a poly lens is an adjustment. It takes time and is disorienting on occasion.
4) Poly folk love just as deeply as mono folk. If your man has feelings for someone else, it's not a reflection on you just--he loves you as much or more than ever.
5) Communication is key with any poly. Communication is actually key with any relationship period. Poly folk just have to be more proactive about their communication since things can be complicated. Don't be shy about sharing your thoughts and feelings.
6) Enjoy what you have. Poly and mono are labels. Don't let labels gum up the works if you're happy with what you have. Just be and savor being.

Again, welcome. *hug*

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