Polyamory.com Forum

Polyamory.com Forum (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/index.php)
-   General Poly Discussions (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=2)
-   -   10 Realistic rules for good non-monogamous relationships (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1155)

Ceoli 11-07-2009 11:06 PM

10 Realistic rules for good non-monogamous relationships
I came across this and found it to be a fantastic read. I see most relationship drama as being pretty unnecessary, and these ten rules go a long way to averting said drama.


NeonKaos 11-07-2009 11:32 PM

The more stuff like that I read, the more I appreciate the relationship my husband and I have. Whenever I read the "advice" I think "that's us!" I'm almost embarrassed to come on this forum and admit that we have a virtually effortless relationship. We fight occasionally, but it's always ABOUT something, and we usually get to the bottom of it relatively quickly. We don't do a lot of this "work" that I hear talked about on here... I suppose I might have gone through all that with events in my life leading up to us, but I try not to take it for granted.

Ceoli 11-07-2009 11:35 PM

YGirl, that rocks. Personally, I find most of my relationships to be pretty effortless. If there are issues that come up, they're either easily solved, or the relationship ends. There are plenty enough people in my life who bring me joy to bother with the ones who bring me drama.

One of my friends always says good drama-free relationships consist of 90% knowledge that it's not about you and 10% partner selection. (I think that was the number breakdown...that could probably be adjusted)

ourquad 11-07-2009 11:46 PM

I like that list. Number 7 particularly. It's a philosophy.

Gator and I have truly struggled and worked at this. It's been a whole new concept for us though and I feel some of what we've been through is understandable due to that. However, I am amazed at where we are at now. But I don't take our progress for granted either.

Sweetheart 11-09-2009 02:15 AM

A good article. Our own situation seems to vary between effortless and challenging, but mostly effortless.


rolypoly 11-09-2009 03:12 AM

Fabulous article. I like how straight forward and honest it is. Thanks Ceoli. :)

redpepper 11-09-2009 08:36 AM

oh boy... #3, I need to work on that more.... when I ever GET to be alone that is!!!! geesh... :p

thanks for this Ceoli!

purpledreamer 11-09-2009 10:20 AM

gread read.
great read. I'm enjoying the insight the self reflection questions are bringing me.i love the 'light bulb' moments. Lol. Thanks for sharing this Ceoli, i'll definitly be passing the link on :)

polymusing 11-09-2009 12:12 PM

Thanks for posting that - it was quite timely. Now to get up the nerve to send it to my husband.

dearprudence 11-09-2009 01:05 PM

Such an excellent and helpful link. I recently ended a beta relationship, and felt the wind knocked out of my sails as a result. I know I need introspection and honesty with myself before I can pursue or open up to another one. I've known that I needed some time, and this list shows me the questions I can ask myself. You have to be solid on the inside before you can truly give to others. Guess that goes for all relationships, not just love relationships.

All times are GMT. The time now is 12:23 PM.