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-   -   Cuddling With Friends - & Non-sexual Intimacy (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11440)

River 06-26-2011 12:35 AM

Cuddling With Friends - & Non-sexual Intimacy
 
It's growing more apparent to me that I'd like to have cuddle-friendly friends with whom I'm not sexually or "romantically" involved, but still quite close. I'm talking clothes on cuddling, mainly, though I could imagine naked cuddling as a real possibility.

Have you any cuddle-friends? Would you like to?

BrigidsDaughter 06-26-2011 12:44 AM

I used to have alot of cuddle friends, but most of them have moved away. I still have one friend that I cuddle with once or twice a month. I'm a very huggy/ cuddly person so I wouldn't mind having more, there are just slim pickings around here these days.

ray 06-26-2011 01:06 AM

I tend to be reserved about who I am cuddly with. I have to feel pretty comfortable before I'll be physically close with someone. I feel fairly sure that I'm not comfortable with platonic naked cuddling. Hell, I'm not even comfortable doing that with those I'm dating. But I am pretty errr inexperienced. I think that's it's perfectly normal to have cuddly friends but it's not something that everyone wants.

Setxfamily 06-26-2011 02:44 AM

We use to have some but when we moved we lost most of our contact with them. We are always looking for news one though.

opalescent 06-26-2011 04:17 AM

I'm not someone that has really understood cuddle friends. I understand the need for touch, and hugs. But cuddling, especially of the naked variety, is something I reserve for lovers. But I think I'm in the minority on this one in the poly and/or alternative groups I'm in.

MonoVCPHG 06-26-2011 04:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by opalescent (Post 88563)
I'm not someone that has really understood cuddle friends. I understand the need for touch, and hugs. But cuddling, especially of the naked variety, is something I reserve for lovers. But I think I'm in the minority on this one in the poly and/or alternative groups I'm in.

I'm with you..I reserve physical closeness like that for people I am completely intimate with. I don't see the purpose to "just cuddling" with friends. Maybe to cop a feel or push a boundary I guess :eek:

opalescent 06-26-2011 04:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG (Post 88566)
Maybe to cop a feel or push a boundary I guess :eek:

I kinda thought you might be a creeper, Mono. :D

MonoVCPHG 06-26-2011 06:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by opalescent (Post 88568)
I kinda thought you might be a creeper, Mono. :D

Damn! You figured me out ;)

nycindie 06-26-2011 07:13 AM

I'm not into cuddling with platonic friends, either. I would always feel like there is some pretense or dishonesty there.

I really dislike the whole idea of cuddle parties with strangers, 'cause I am sure at least some people are just pretending they want to keep it non-sexual and something inappropriate would happen. And that would piss me off. I don't think I could relax at all if I joined one.

Since learning about poly and discovering cuddle parties, I even find it a huge turn-off to hear (or read) grown-ups talking about cuddling. It's like the word is tainted for me now. I cannot explain it, but I get really irritated with the whole "cuddle movement," so to speak.

It's funny that the idea makes me uneasy because, back in the late 80s/early 90s, I did participate in what we called "puppy piles" with a close-knit group that I was connected with (we were all trained in an alternative healing modality) and it was wonderful. Basically, we all hugged each other in a pile together, but it was always organized within the context of certain gatherings we held within the community. But we all had a common language and a well-established basis of trust amongst the group. However, I wouldn't have gone and cuddled with any of those people on personal time outside of those workshops/celebrations, etc. We never called it cuddling.

redpepper 06-26-2011 07:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nycindie (Post 88577)
I'm not into cuddling with platonic friends, either. I would always feel like there is some pretense or dishonesty there.

I really dislike the whole idea of cuddle parties with strangers, 'cause I am sure at least some people are just pretending they want to keep it non-sexual and something inappropriate would happen. And that would piss me off. I don't think I could relax at all if I joined one.

Since learning about poly and discovering cuddle parties, I even find it a huge turn-off to hear (or read) grown-ups talking about cuddling. It's like the word is tainted for me now. I cannot explain it, but I get really irritated with the whole "cuddle movement," so to speak.

It's funny that the idea makes me uneasy because, back in the late 80s/early 90s, I did participate in what we called "puppy piles" with a close-knit group that I was connected with (we were all trained in an alternative healing modality) and it was wonderful. Basically, we all hugged each other in a pile together, but it was always organized within the context of certain gatherings we held within the community. But we all had a common language and a well-established basis of trust amongst the group. However, I wouldn't have gone and cuddled with any of those people on personal time outside of those workshops/celebrations, etc. We never called it cuddling.

That is so interesting! What's behind all that do you think? I see cuddle parties and puppy piles as the same thing. How are they different for you?

I'm not a big cuddler really. I get touched out at work I think (I work with people who have cognitive disabilities). In fact I told PN tonight that he had to get a girlfriend just so he could go over to her place and maul her while she made dinner ;) I just don't like it much really.

Cuddle parties would not be something I go to I don't think. To me it would mean the lead up to a sex party. I dunno, I've never gone to one though, I really don't know what it would be like :)


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