Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   Hello! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1138)

ohFallacy 11-05-2009 02:07 AM

I just turned 20 not too long ago and I'm on the verge of entering into a poly relationship. But before I made any commitment, I wanted to make sure that I was emotionally and mentally stable for such a thing. Also, I wanted to learn more about what polyamory means. So far, I have discovered that it is a very individualized sort of system based on the preferences of the parties involved but I would also like to gain some insight on further matters regarding any questions that may arise or any complications within said budding relationship.

Currently I am seeing this guy who was already involved with someone else. I'm not going to assume that they were BF/GF simply because of the guy's general distaste for labels of any variety. He has been nothing but open and honest about everything and so far has given me no reason to distrust him. From what I've gathered he has also been the same with his OSO. But since our relationship has been getting more serious it seems as though his OSO is starting to cause problems. They have been fighting almost every day and he hasn't disclosed what they have been fighting about. From what I gathered is that she is reconsidering the entire poly relationship, and discourages our relationship.

I'm scared that one day she will give him an ultimatum, and force him to choose between me or her. Knowing this, it prevents me from allowing myself to fall deeper into the relationship but I still can't help but feel like I'm falling in love with him even knowing all this.

I'm not sure what to do and that's why I'm here.

Andilynn 11-05-2009 03:01 AM

hello!!! hope all turns out well wish i could help but i think im kinda in the same boat mostly about being new.

HappiestManAlive 11-05-2009 08:06 AM


Be very careful. As you read around the forums, you'll see that your situation is familiar to many people here. There is a lot of advice already up, check it out.

PittDruid 11-05-2009 08:11 PM

First off hello and welcome, I am new here also and only wish to say. Good luck.

MonoVCPHG 11-05-2009 08:41 PM


redpepper 11-05-2009 09:55 PM

We had a long chat on ultimatums on the "I think I failed" thread this last couple of days, check it out.

ohFallacy 11-06-2009 05:56 AM

Thanks a bunch everyone! =]

I'll make sure to check that thread out...

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