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-   -   Kind of new to poly (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1126)

PittDruid 11-03-2009 08:55 PM

Kind of new to poly
 
So,I have been of a poly mind set most of my life, but two years ago I married what I figured was a mono women.(She had a lot of issues with cheating BF's before me.) One night we start talking about poly and well we decide we can do it. We are both straight, and we decided date other people. Is this how it has happened for anyone else? Because I am finding it hard to talk to any of the poly women, most want a relationship with a couple or just another women.

Manno 11-03-2009 11:30 PM

Does the woman have to be poly
 
Or just attracted to you and not dependent on a relationship where she will requires your full attention and focus?

I'm recently entered your situation, read my "paradigm shift to poly" thread, and you'll see everything I was fearing. What it took for me was simply solid attraction and being open and honest.

PittDruid 11-04-2009 01:45 AM

I think
 
I think you are right about the similarities, but I think yours is a bit more ??? Wow. I read your post and it helped me out so thank you.

Manno 11-04-2009 03:10 AM

I'm not sure if "a bit more ???" is meant to be a good or bad impression.
 
But thanks for the read.

PittDruid 11-04-2009 04:41 AM

not a bad thing
 
It was not meant as a bad thing. Your situation moved a lot faster then mine. That is all.

Manno 11-04-2009 02:45 PM

It shifted fast, but it was a long time coming
 
We've been together since 99 and known one another since 97 as great friends, so that's why the the transition was easy.

High levels of openness are required as well as powerful amounts of love and respect for one another's separate lives. Fortunately, these were all in place for us were were for us. Furthermore, we've been so happy now that we feel we can share everything and talk about anything.

Having a relationship where together you can open the control panel and look at the clockwork, freely assess and discuss the situations at hand and tweak the gears when they need them to be altered - that is the modern day fairy tale.

I hope your shift is a bit easier though.

-M


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