Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   greetings from Santa Fe,NM (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1103)

goldcactus 11-01-2009 09:40 PM

greetings from Santa Fe,NM
Greetings from New Mexico, sunny and not so warm any more here.
First up, there are 3 buttons, one says New Thread, two say Thread/Thread Starter. I'm new to web posting. I hit New Thread this time. Is that the thing to do? We'll see where it ends up.
I'm appreciative of all the postings, on-goingness, and Q & A's I've found here.
Very refreshing.
I've been married to a woman for 16 years and we are poly. My first relationship was poly for awhile and so was another long term relationship. We, my partner and I, had some fun with others about 5 years ago and now my partner, RB, has a lover. They are pretty up and down and RB is learning to communicate like never before. This is refreshing for me. I'm looking for a man for myself.

I'm wondering what others have done in regards to the children. I've read some of the posts and the children seem very accepting. Do you tell them out right or do you let it evolve and let actions tell the story? Have your children had any fall out themselves? It was easier to do this with out children for me. I won't let it stop me, yet I feel the need to be very .....aware and attentive to my son.
If there are already some posts you can point me to with this subject matter that would be great.
I'm still learning to navigate this site. Many layers.
be well,

River 11-02-2009 12:35 AM

Welcome aboard, GoldCactus!

It so happens that I'm also here in Santa Fe. There is a forum in here which is meant to connect people according to geographical locale. One such forum is "North America", as I recall. In that, there's a topic on New Mexico, I believe. Check it out.

Also, there's a group in SF, but I have not yet attended. They have a Yahoo Groups "group" last I knew. I'll try to post the address some time soon, but am a bit busy at the moment.


River 11-02-2009 12:36 AM

New Mexico: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=97

River 11-02-2009 05:01 PM

Santa Fe Poly Yahoo Group:


New Mexico Polyamory Network - nmpoly@twomoons.com
Albuquerque Poly Support Group - nmpoly@yahoo.com

Not sure how current these addresses are, but it's worth a try.

Info comes from: http://www.openingup.net/resources/localorgs/

LovingRadiance 11-02-2009 07:27 PM


On kids-

My oldest (she just turned 18) just "knew" from way things flowed.

The middle one lives out of state with his grandparents due to some psychological and behavioral issues he has that endanger other children. He's unaware.

Our third child is 9 and I had a specific conversation with him becuase he was struggling with communication and needed some guidance. he felt that what he needed to say was "too hard" and so we talked about how important honest communication is and it led through the relationship dynamics in the family.

Our youngest is only 2. She's well aware that I go to be with daddy at night andthat sometimes in the morning she wakes up and I'm in GreenGecko's room, not Daddy's and mine (GreenGecko is my BF). She is young enough it just "IS" what it is.

I think it helps if your LIFE is honest and open. If you keep secrets about your lifestyle from most of the people in your life-it's going to be complicated with the kids. If you are open about it-then they just see it as "the way it is".

Mine haven't had issues with other people saying/doing anything. But it's not a huge topic of conversation. They don't wander around talking about it and we don't walk around making out in public-so people don't usually ask...

Sevamar 11-02-2009 07:52 PM

Hello! It's good to know that there are others from Santa Fe here. I just joined the forums this morning and am very new to poly in any form, so it may take me a while to get adjusted. I hope you can do so smoothly too! In any case, welcome! ^_^

Legion 11-03-2009 12:08 AM

Welcome goldcactus! I don't know the first thing about kids so I'm just saying "hi" :)

MatthewCC 11-03-2009 12:46 PM

Poly meeting in Santa Fe
Hello all! I'm Matt from the East Mountains. I love the discussion and plan to contribute more in the near future. My wife and I are poly, we have 8 kids, and, yes, they know about our "lifestyle." I'm not sure we're experts on all this but we have some experience...

Just want everyone to know there is a safe, comfortable community to learn and explore poly. It meets in Santa Fe. Here is the announcment for the upcoming meeting.

We had a wonderful discussion Saturday about Poly Activism. We've had a
bit of a sequence, starting with September's "Land Mines on the Path to
Poly," October's "Poly Activism - or how do we get rid of the land
mines. The suggestion for November is "Who Put The Land Mines There -
And Why?" or why does society seem so intent on controlling sex, and
limiting alternative life styles? Should be stimulating!

We're now meeting the 2nd Sat of each month, so that means our poly
gathering will be Sat. Nov 14. Pot Luck 5-6, Discussion 6-8,
socializing and hot tub 8-10.

Mim Chapman hosts the event at her home. If you're interested or want directions email me.


goldcactus 11-06-2009 03:28 PM

Yes, please!!
Matt and All,
Yes, please. I'd love to get together in Santa Fe with other poly folks.
I've been isolated way too long. I home schooled our son until he was 10. He's now in TTE this year and loving it.
Please e mail me off line (I think is the term) with contact info.

Thanks to ALL for the responses. Wonderful. I already feel welcome and the needed contact happening.

I'm not much into this virtual world, in person is my preference. I will keep going here though.
I think I scared someone off by suggesting we get together.
I'm open to getting together for coffee/tea to those in the area.

I'm appreciative of all the information about children. Thanks.
I've come to the same conclusion, that honesty is the best way to go.

be well,

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