Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   New to Forums, not Polyamory (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10915)

NewToRaleigh 06-13-2011 02:10 PM

New to Forums, not Polyamory
I've been married for 7 years and with my husband for 12 years total. We started discussing being poly (though we didn't know the term then) about 2 years into our relationship when I realized that being monogamous didn't work for me personally or philosophically. My husband had, until that point, always imagined that sort of white picket fence life being faithful to his wife (in my mind, even if he were unhappy). Once we discussed being open to sexual encounters with other people for a really long while, we decided that it could work for us.

Much of our "poly" life has been about being open to sex, but relationships have been more complicated. In fact, we're currently working to move past someone he was seeing who became obsessed with convincing him to leave me and who believes very much (I know, thanks to the long Facebook messages she's sent me) that she loves my husband more than I ever could because I "share" him.

Those events, plus the realization that we can talk to no one in our real lives about being poly led me to look for an appropriate internet community. We've recently - last week! - moved to Raleigh, NC, and I really hope we'll be able to connect with some people here who don't need a long-winded explanation about the way we live. We're also hoping to move more toward dating a third person. We've both seen the same woman once before, and it felt really comfortable. I'm sure that change in our lives will require much thought & discussion about how to make everything work.

nycindie 06-13-2011 09:29 PM

Welcome! I know there are a few members here who live in NC, but not sure where or how close to Raleigh. Has your husband registered here, too? It's always nice to have both members of a couple posting about what's going on with them.

Diabloabogado 06-13-2011 11:00 PM

Just checking in... I'm the husband of NewToRaleigh. The only thing I would add is that I'm really hoping that these forums and the various groups in and around Raleigh will help us feel like we are not "abnormal" in our lifestyle. We didn't tell even our closest friends until we were already moving.

AutumnalTone 06-18-2011 02:41 PM

Welcome aboard.


Originally Posted by NewToRaleigh (Post 86062)
Much of our "poly" life has been about being open to sex, but relationships have been more complicated.

Then you are open as well as poly. You can do both of those at the same time (my wife and I are poly AND have an open relationship).

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