Polyamory.com Forum

Polyamory.com Forum (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/index.php)
-   Life stories and blogs (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=5)
-   -   my life.. (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1089)

nalena 10-30-2009 03:28 AM

my life..
Warning: This is going is be a whole bunch of jumbled thoughts. Sorry for any misspelling, and such, I am not the best writer.

So, my life in general. I am 35 years old and been in two solid relationships. The first one physically assaulted me. Almost killed me twice and I went back a third time. Finally walked away after I spent 2 months in the hospital learning how to walk, talk, think again. (You can get the picture). Next, got into my current relationship. Known him since I was a young child. Been friends for 25 years now.

Well we got together in 1993 and been together ever since. Always seemed like he was meant for me. But things started going bad about 6 years ago. I got pregnant with our only daughter and down hill we went. He became mostly verbally abusive. Calling me name, putting me down. I had a dear friend, that I love, that told me to get out. It was not worth going through what I was going through. I didnít listen. I stayed. Definitely not the smart thing to do, but it is what I did. The abuse did not stop, and even continued to get worse.

Now looking at the present. The abuse is still occurring. It has moved from the mentall, verbal to a little bit of physical. The physical is few and far between, but still occurs. Right now I am looking at leaving. I am a college student, and going to stay until the term is over. Keep my mouth shut and my chip up. Not sure if this is right to post, but just needed to get it off my chest.

MonoVCPHG 10-30-2009 04:38 AM

Regardless of why you are here, you are welcome. I won't tell you what to do but hope you get through this as fast and safely as possible. Is there no one who can help you...or at least protect you if that is what you need?

Take care

redpepper 10-30-2009 07:58 AM

yes, get out as fast as you can... your daughter is learning this from you and it will repeat in her life. Do it for her if no one else. Collage can wait my friend, take charge of your life and get out. Call the local women's shelter and ask them how you can do this without causing him to react. They should be able to give you lots of advice, counseling and support. It is their job after all.

good luck, my heart goes out to you.
go take care of business :)

Fidelia 10-30-2009 04:30 PM

I've only got a minute, but I wanted to respond to you, SisterWoman.

I am an abuse survivor myself. I know every case is different, but the patterns are the same. So I'm going to give you, straight up and without any sugar-coating, the heart-felt advice I wish I had paid better attention to when I was where you apparently are now:

Get out. Find the shortest path between where you are and where you and your daughter will be safe, and walk that path. Better yet, run it!

You deserve to be treated with respect, love and compassion.
NO ONE deserves abuse.

There are resources to help you. Find them. Use them.

I wish I had more time, but I gotta jet. I'm praying for you, SisterWoman. Be safe, be strong.

All times are GMT. The time now is 06:15 PM.