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-   -   Anyone on the Central Coast, Ca? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10702)

JnR 06-07-2011 05:20 PM

Anyone on the Central Coast, Ca?
I almost feel like my husband and I are the only poly friendly people around here :) We live in San Luis Obispo County, would be fun to meet other like minded people in the area or close by. We also travel frequently to Ventura and San Diego.

lovemultiplied 06-10-2011 06:11 PM

San Diego here... How old are you guys? I only ask so I can point you in the right direction of a couple groups... One is more for 20s-mid 30s and the other is a larger age range

JnR 06-12-2011 03:35 AM

I am 43 and my husband is 51. Thanks for your reply, we were camping up in Yosemite the last few days, was a great time but also missed my computer! ;) Amazing how addicting these things are....

Scottman 05-10-2013 11:12 PM


My name is Scott, 62, single, handsome, kind, loving, living in Cayucos, working as an electronics designer for my own small startup in LA. Joined this site only moments ago (have not even introduced myself on this forum yet - might even use this post as my introduction). I've been in a few monogamous relationships, presently dating the same woman for a few months now. Though neither of us are actually poly per se, you might say we're poly-curious. I read the great book "Spiritual Polyamory", and it made total sense to me. I admit to being afraid, but am fascinated by the potential for personal growth, especially in regard to my ego.

Anyway, I thought it might be enlightening to converse with others online and in person about the benefits and challenges of polyamory in a safer environment than what conventional social circles might offer. From the books and posts I've read, I'm a bit aware of the differences and similarities between polyamory and swinging.

Thank you,

Aery 06-20-2013 08:37 AM

Re: Anyone on the Central Coast, Ca?
Hi! Jerome and Pam here in Paso Robles. Always open to developing new, local friends with kindred sorts... We've only been around North County since last year...We would enjoy having acquaintances over or go wandering somewhere We have a camping trip coming up ahead, hopefully with someone... Drop us a message, if you like, and we can arrange a good time/place to meet and leastwise we can talk-story and explore things with room for all to feel we only meeting. In general, we lean towards MFM, are mature for all we feel childlike in some ways...and are both heterosexual. We're less about all the fuss of finding the right people/person than being the right people... and it's all a new, spicy adventure, as this is a new start again after a long time since our last "sharing of intimacy," an experience that sort of fizzled (tales to share)... Fortune!

Oh. and Hi Scot...

Aery 06-20-2013 09:05 AM

And Scott, same goes for you. Drop us a line yourself if you're still considering . This area is pretty scarce of those who might-could benefit from whatever learning-curve a local network/community @ Poly/Poly subsets, relational aspects, values, feelings. issues, activities, get-togethers, etc... might offer... I mean, this is California... where else if not here? not far from arguably maybe not the first advent/wave of modern, psychosexual goings-ons... but hey! Anyway, pleased to meet you too...

Vinceklortho 06-20-2013 04:00 PM

Hello, everyone. I'm down in Santa Barbara. Love to meet up/hang out/whatever sometime.

Camping where? Haven't done that in ages, but have been meaning to get out. There are some great spots around here. Casitas even has an epic disc golf course. :)


Aery 06-20-2013 07:44 PM

Hi... This being a thread I didn't start I'm a bit chary of using it beyond JnR's initial purposes.... ("I almost feel like my husband and I are the only poly friendly people around here. We live in San Luis Obispo County, would be fun to meet other like minded people in the area or close by.[...]) Just so, ostensibly, to reach out to other locals Neh? And insofar as I (actually we) having noticed a general dearth and poor usage or showing of active interest in local, Poly/open-relationship/etc.networking resources @ the Central Coast area, online anyway, I can certainly validate their feelings on this.

I will say Pam and I had lived in the Santa Barbara/Goleta/Buelton area for several years before moving a while up to the Portland, OR area... and it's only been since late last year that we settled here in Paso Robles. And too, it's been lo, over 10 years since our last, active foray into this here intentional, non-monogamous relationships. As I alluded. we met with shaky ground and obstacles in those days (our own relationship was at a rough spot). Now we're more ready, secure, and also our children are grown... We anyway feel we are at a better spot for integrating things - Not to say we're somehow beyond it all - just ready for something. Mentioned in passing our MFM threesome proclivities and offered that by way of an intro to our inclinations.

To try to make this brief, we are still and all not daunted from pursuing this, even hospitable to the notion, if yet a tinge of uncertainty about how it will be like in the long term... Meeting someone who's "up to speed" as concerns emotional/relational intelligence is a definite aspect of this alchemy... that includes authenticness, honesty with all/each and every concerned. Saying that, we only have some tentative ideas of a camping destination... Before any and all other considerations, there's companionate chemistry first thing, and finding agreement @ all sorts of whatnots, It's not all some furtive rendezvous of abandon... not some mad dash... We have imagined going up to nearby Sierra Mts, maybe Sequoia Park area as place to pitch camp. Not wanting to move camp around overmuch. It's no vacation if you spend it pitching/unpitching/packing/unpacking the whole time... There's mineral springs and fresh running rivers nearabouts up there, perhaps places with local music to go to. The ocean we already have nearby us here, hot-tub we have here too... Just was out near Avila for a day. Even local lakes might be nice. All depends too on schedules... We already are shooting for a week-long, and so have arranged our trip with days off. We do miss the running rivers we used to whitewater raft in the Northwest... So I dunno...

Beyond this...we are in sensual bloom..., neither about Poly, or being proselytes or proselytizers, nor religious/nonreligious, or about universal rules/ethos... neither without boundaries... Eros is and exists because certain boundaries do. In the interval between reach and grasp, in the Aphroditian sense of "want" (grk: Penia) instinctualy and psyche (soul's fathomlessness) is like a tree, only renewed from its own roots/depths:

"...not sex only but divinity itself is insulted when it is repressed. To disapprove, to condemn – the human soul shrivels under barren righteousness." --Freya Stark 'Traveller’s Prelude: An Autobiography' (1950)

JnR 06-21-2013 01:03 AM

Wow! Well hello everyone :-) I am sorry that I have not responded before this, my husband and I got wrapped up (and still are) in a new business venture so that has of course consumed our life. But had a day off today, did some mundane chores around the house and then for some reason this forum crossed my mind again. Going to head into the other areas of this website, but thanks for saying hi and sharing your ideas. Not so sure we have time to devote to meeting new people and sharing ideas at the moment, but who knows! I will definitely make more of an effort to log on and see what is going on. Thanks!

Aery 06-25-2013 07:23 PM

Yeah, people's lives do get hectic/busy/situationally/interpersonally complex. All understandable... Nobody need explain... I do sometimes get to wondering what face to put on different sorts of fluxing ebbs and flows in making acquaintance! Somedays Pam and I are feeling expansive; all-inviting... other times withdrawn... Things can and do change... For a few days this just-forming, Central Coast area poly networking seemed to gather steam, anyway. Still looking forward to meeting. Talking on a forum vs face-to face can almost be off-putting. IMHO, a less formal conversation allows a better flow of exchange. I know how off-putting it can seem to explain nuances and nuances of nuances both in writing and in person... Both ways can be seductive too. without a back and forth (ie: little red flag bits like, are seeking a relationship on the rebound? come to mind here). Attempting to give and elicit context @ this and that, or being able to make digressions and see things in all dimensions, on the fly, is not helped when only one party speaks too... as well, one learns more about what's what through seeing both the lights inside and shadows... On these forums one tends to only read the "rules of engagement" s more than say. the look in the eyes discussing their fantasies, hopes, disappointments and how they subtly brush a wisp of hair from their face.

All this is to say, we aren't pulling away from the notion of meeting y'all.

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