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-   -   Hard when both relationships are new (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10538)

lovinhimloviner 06-02-2011 12:22 AM

Hard when both relationships are new
 
Background info: Husband and I are both in new relationships and we are both heads over heels in love with our OSO. H new gf is amazing but mono, which works out because H prefers being in relationships with mono chicks. It is hard for him to see me with my OSO. I met my OSO a day after I met my H. They have been best friends since long before H and I met. He has lived with us in the past and has always been a part of our family. I fell for him a couple of years ago and pushed it aside because, well, I'm married and that just isn't "right". Then we found poly life online when he started falling for his gf.

We started having some problems recently, H and I that is. I think the main problem is we are both experiencing NRE and are having a hard time finding that balance. My OSO is living with us again and sleeps with me when H is with his gf. We all went camping together this last weekend along with 3 of our 4 kids and 2 dogs. It was really nice 3 days and 2 nights. The last night things were a little tense but I was drinking and feeling sorry for my self that I haven't had any affection from my H in a couple of days. Since his OSO is Mono I try not to kiss him or anything in front of her. I really just want to try to make everyone happy. My OSO is definitely wired for the poly life.
I seem to have become irrational and it is making it hard on H and his OSO. I started counseling today and I got lucky my first shot and ended up with a physiologist who has a friend in San Fransisco who is polly.

So the question I have is, has anyone been in a relationship where both couples are new relationship and is majorly in love with their OSO as well as your SO? How hard is it to find that happy medium? Right now I usually get 2 nights a week with my H and even then there are texts and day visits. I think very highly of his OSO but I think I need to be with my H more than I am. I love him so very much and think a lot of my feelings and craziness has to do with the fact that i miss him. Plain and simple.

nycindie 06-02-2011 02:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovinhimloviner (Post 84298)
. . . I think I need to be with my H more than I am. I love him so very much and think a lot of my feelings and craziness has to do with the fact that i miss him. Plain and simple.

Then ask for more time with him. Plain and simple. :)


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