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-   -   Tales of the search for a quad (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10082)

Kittywitch 05-21-2011 01:59 PM

Tales of the search for a quad
 
For the past year and a half, my Fiance' and I have been in the search for a couple or group to date together. We can find people interested in him only, and people interested in me only, but never someone who is actively looking for a couple.

Well, that's not completely true. There was a couple in St Louis that was interested in us, but wanted us to drive 400 miles (6.5 hours) to go meet them in person before they would decide if they wanted us to date them. When we mentioned that that distance was nothing to sneeze at, knowing that we were pretty much broke, they wrote us off.

Since then, both Shrink and I have looked various places (including on polymatchmaker.com and on okcupid) and both found people for ourselves, but not as a couple. It seems odd: those who are looking for a unicorn cannot find them, but we seem to stumble upon them, as if they were as common as the blades of grass in our front yard.

BUT I DON'T WANT A UNICORN!

I, myself, admittedly am attracted to a very select group of females, and because of such, have never been with one. While it may seem hypocritical due to my own size, I'm not attracted to larger women. Where as I find Jessica Alba in Dark Angel (http://bit.ly/ksILaB) to be drop dead gorgeous! When it comes to guys, I'm not as picky, oddly. perhaps it has something to do with who girls are raised in this age - where being small is shoved down their throats from near infancy and is all around them (from TV shows - where bigger kids are picked on - to barbies. )

Shrink, on the other hand -as I'm sure it's obvious that he's with me, prefers larger girls. He is about 99.9999999% straight. He's said he's not apposed to the concept, just hasn't found a male that he's attracted to, and doesn't really like the thought of penii.

While I know that this puts a damper on the thought of a quad, where everyone is dating everyone else, I can still dream, right? Two guys and two girls who live together. The guys are friends, the girls are at LEAST friends, and there's a cross over from guys to girls of who's dating who.

Dreams might come true... eventually... but for now, it is a search...

nycindie 05-22-2011 01:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kittywitch (Post 82663)
. . . the thought of a quad, where everyone is dating everyone else . . .

A quad just means four people in relationship with each other. It could be all people involved sexually with each other, but doesn't have to. Any combination of the four can be sexual with each other and the other(s) can just be part of it without the sex. I would guess that more often than not, a quad would tend to be a "wife swap" situation, but that's just a guess and totally unfounded on anything.

Kittywitch 05-22-2011 02:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nycindie (Post 82725)
A quad just means four people in relationship with each other. It could be all people involved sexually with each other, but doesn't have to. Any combination of the four can be sexual with each other and the other(s) can just be part of it without the sex. I would guess that more often than not, a quad would tend to be a "wife swap" situation, but that's just a guess and totally unfounded on anything.

Well, compared to previous relationships, where my fiance barely knows those who I'm dating, a quad where they are at least friends would be a plus.

Kittywitch 05-23-2011 01:36 AM

I was contacted yesterday by a gentleman on OK-Cupid from Illinois. At first I was a bit hesitant, as he is many years (25 to be precise) my senior. I've been talking to him on instant messenger for about an hour now, and so far so good, though I'm not certain how far things will go. I leave it in the hands of the gods, as they tend to know what's best for me, better than I do.

Shrink has said for a while that when I find someone, they tend to be bad for me, but when they find me, they tend to work out (with a few exceptions). I hope this one follows the trend.


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