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-   -   The Stats Don't Match. (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10055)

Erosa 05-20-2011 05:32 PM

The Stats Don't Match.
 
I just have to ask something...

Statistically (roughly, and since 2009) 11% of females born females identify themselves as bisexual or lesbian. 10% of males identify themselves as bisexual or gay.

Therefore, I have to ask; WHY in poly are nearly all the men I have met hetero-sexual?

I realize that I am talking about a sub-group. But if the statistics are so close, then I would expect to see more bi men who are seeking to join a couple, or more couples who are seeking to have truly inter-mingles love (not just wife trading.)

This really is idle curiosity in some respect but I also have to wonder; why are so many more women so much more open to the idea of having sex with a member of the same gender than men? Especially when statistics seems to indicate only a 1% difference?

MonoVCPHG 05-20-2011 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erosa (Post 82529)
why are so many more women so much more open to the idea of having sex with a member of the same gender than men?

I can only speak for the world I have lived in for most of my life. I will put this as simple as I can. Woman +woman = cool. Men + men = not cool.

I bet a lot of men are curious abut having sex with other men...but we, as in men, are heavily trained and influenced that doing anything "gay" is wrong.

Essentially, our closet is bigger than yours.

drtalon 05-20-2011 10:01 PM

It might be where you live, too. The percentages don't tell you where those bisexuals are born or live (or where they are more or less likely to identify as bi).

nycindie 05-20-2011 11:08 PM

This is discussed quite a bit in another thread, mostly in the last pages:

Gay, Bi-, Queer Polyamory

GroundedSpirit 05-21-2011 01:48 PM

Yea Erosa - Mon pretty much summed it up in a sentence or two.

Despite years of activism and publicity, homophobia has really not changed. It seems to have taken a dip for a few years but has been on the growth pattern again the last few years.
I don't know whether it will ever be overcome - at least in western culture.

But on the other hand, although you may have experienced that female bisexuality (the label) is far more common, if you have time and the opportunity, I suspect that you will discover that the number of men who are actually open to bisexual experimentation is far greater than advertised. But you won't see it publicly announced. But if you are in a relationship (or getting there) with a guy - just you TRY expressing to him that it would turn you on to see some guy/guy interaction. Then watch how fast his attitude may turn around. It may take 2 or 3 little hints & grins but you may be pleasantly surprised.

Try it :)

GS

Kittywitch 05-21-2011 02:02 PM

I have to agree as well. The "Man Code" that seems to be a book that is given to each little boy that tells them not to cry, not to talk about their feelings, and never EVER express any interest in other males, is a book that I would love to destroy.

Sure there are those who ignore it, but, the majority of males seem to at least attempt to follow it to a T.

Erosa 05-22-2011 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kittywitch (Post 82665)
I have to agree as well. The "Man Code" that seems to be a book that is given to each little boy that tells them not to cry, not to talk about their feelings, and never EVER express any interest in other males, is a book that I would love to destroy.

Sure there are those who ignore it, but, the majority of males seem to at least attempt to follow it to a T.

Kitty, I totally agree with you about the "Man Code" book. I would love to burn it and all the rules you mentioned.

I also think that book contains the two rules that annoy me most in it;

1. When a woman talks about her problems, she wants you to interrupt with possible solutions.

2. You are under no obligation to communicate daily with your female partners, even if you said you would.:mad:

RunicWolf 05-26-2011 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erosa (Post 82529)
Therefore, I have to ask; WHY in poly are nearly all the men I have met hetero-sexual?

I realize that I am talking about a sub-group. But if the statistics are so close, then I would expect to see more bi men who are seeking to join a couple, or more couples who are seeking to have truly inter-mingles love (not just wife trading.)

My experience on this says the stats are right around correct, if not a little on the low side. Out of every male I know in a poly type relationship (yes, I'm including open ones as well), most are at least bi-curious with about 1-10 being fully bi. I myself identify with bi-curious (mostly because I won't commit to bi-sexual until I've done more) and Wendigo, my wife's boyfriend, is fully bi-sexual.

Then again, it could just be where I'm living as well.

BrigidsDaughter 05-28-2011 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit (Post 82660)
But if you are in a relationship (or getting there) with a guy - just you TRY expressing to him that it would turn you on to see some guy/guy interaction. Then watch how fast his attitude may turn around. It may take 2 or 3 little hints & grins but you may be pleasantly surprised.

Try it :)

GS

Females are also indoctrinated to believe that male on male is gross. For the longest time I refused to even watch porn with male on male interaction due to social conditioning. So, because I had been so adamant in my thought process a decade ago; Runic Wolf didn't believe me at first when I mentioned I thought some guy/ guy interaction would be HAWT.

GroundedSpirit 05-28-2011 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrigidsDaughter (Post 83572)
Females are also indoctrinated to believe that male on male is gross. For the longest time I refused to even watch porn with male on male interaction due to social conditioning. So, because I had been so adamant in my thought process a decade ago; Runic Wolf didn't believe me at first when I mentioned I thought some guy/ guy interaction would be HAWT.

You're absolutely right Brigids !
I think that starts to change sometimes if you get a few multipartner experiences under your belt. Your imagination starts to come back. And imagination in sex is critical !

:)

GS


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