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-   -   I need some dating advice! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=40988)

learninginTN 03-07-2013 08:01 PM

Well, I finally mustered the courage to ask for a specific date, and we had dinner last night. It was so much fun! She laughed and smiled, dressed nicely, and showed me a little cleavage. She asked lots of questions about our lifestyle, and even told me she had been doing some research. She also told me about watching a recent "Rikki Lake" show about polyamory. She talked about her 5-year marriage and subsequent 10 years of being single. She has a few FWB's, but no primary in her life.

When we left the dinner I gave her a hug and a kiss on the lips. She didn't recoil or pull away or anything. In fact, she gave a little smile. I told her I enjoyed having dinner with her, and she replied she had as well.

I hope I can take it to the next level soon. What do you think? Should I invite her out for another dinner, or some other activity, or drinks, or what exactly?

ManofDiscovery 03-07-2013 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by learninginTN (Post 189010)
I hope I can take it to the next level soon. What do you think? Should I invite her out for another dinner, or some other activity, or drinks, or what exactly?

Well done...a bit of courage goes a long way.

You don't need to plan some amazing super date...dinner and/or drinks is fine, preferably with some location you can take her back to afterwards (like your place, or hers).

Go for some drinks, then invite her back to yours to see your fishtank/trainset/stamp collection/parrokeet/collection of classic 70s porn/whatever.

Then when you're there, let nature take its course.

It doesn't have to be any more difficult than that. I like to roughly plan the logistics in advance (where will we meet, where will we go to next, where will we end up, and how we will get there), then lead all the way, so that all she has to do is follow along, and she ends up back at your place.

Of course, if she's not comfortable at any point, she can easily say no - but the key is that she doesn't have to take the lead and force the issue at any point. This is often what happens when girls say things like 'he just swept me off my feet' and 'I don't normally do that sort of thing, but it felt so natural with him'.

You don't have to rigidly stick to your plan. Be flexible enough to adapt should the circumstances warrant it...but it's good to have a default idea of how things are going to go down, then plan your date around it.

ChipPaulson 06-21-2013 11:20 PM

yolo


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