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-   -   Two People, One Username (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16218)

redpepper 11-14-2011 05:34 AM

I would be so incomfortable with anyone speaking for me. Not my husband, not anyone could say what I say, even if they think they can. I might make agreements with him and my other partners, but those are personal to ME and ME only.

What is it with couples assuming that being independent is in someway LESS committed, LESS faithful? As if their wedding vows are in some way reduced to something meaningless because they venture out alone (god forbid!).

I am reminded again of that poem by Gibran, something about the pillars of love stand apart in order to hold the relationship together or something. I will find the quote...

redpepper 11-14-2011 05:54 AM

Here it is

http://www.katsandogz.com/onmarriage.html

opalescent 11-14-2011 01:32 PM

I also find it rather creepy and would not make that choice myself.

But, enough people decide to go this route that I think outright banning it would be difficult. Recommending that folks have individual accounts and that if they must go the two people - one username route, also strongly recommend to indicate who is speaking every time would be sufficient in my mind. And let them know that if one or both are acting asshole-ish, then both will be banned as they share one username.

(Not a mod! Just my own thoughts here as always.)

Senga 11-14-2011 02:07 PM

hey just want to say hi, & my boyfriend lets me do most of the typing/chatting, as he does talking on the phone because he is more comfortable that way. We both do video calls. Anyways sometimes I just have an account that I let him read, sometimes we have our own profiles, but we are such a part of each others life that we just communicate by letting each other read mail SOMETIMES. :)

On a side note... I see that you two are hoping to relate to a third as a couple/unit. I assume that means you would like a triad. Thats nice & handy & understandable since you are part of each others lives, just wanted to say that that a unit can have individuals as well. There will be a time when you or he would spend alone time 1 on 1 with a third, perhaps he goes to the bathroom? or you go to the store? & you or he are faced with being a couple with your third... just try to keep that in mind so that you also try to grow the individual relationships within the triad as well. Those are the glue really, in my opinion

AutumnalTone 11-16-2011 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 110780)

I find that to be the most intelligent thing I've ever read of his (I'm not a fan).

mekodesu 11-17-2011 06:28 AM

i think originally we (my lady folk and i) were going to just have one acct. however, i am on here more than either of them because i am always wanting to know more and what others are dealing with as well ext.. ext)

so this is just my acct and no longer the acct for the collective. i figured that if they want to or desire to post here or start reading the boards again they will make an acct which will possibly be used by the two of them as they have a couple acct's like this. for them it just makes sense. i agree though that unless the post is specified with we it is difficult to tell who is who, i decided that a few months ago with someones post.

clairegoad 11-17-2011 10:02 AM

Hello Lurkers!!! <friendly wave>
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gleegirl1203 (Post 109074)
I'm the only one that posts under my username. I told my fiance he should join the forum because I'm gaining a lot of insight from it, and that would save me from having to read him every single thing I find that I think is applicable or interesting to me/us.

And anyone can READ these forums. A user name is needed to POST.

So your fiance could read and learn... but just avoid posting.

I, myself, am compelled to respond sometimes... so.. well... I need a username.

My couple is not on here... I've sent links to various threads/topics they might find interesting.. but forums are my thing, and not theirs...

SchrodingersCat 11-18-2011 05:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 110780)

"Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf"


So now I have to start buying different loaves of bread? And I can't sip his coffee? wth?

SchrodingersCat 11-18-2011 05:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 110777)
I would be so incomfortable with anyone speaking for me. Not my husband, not anyone could say what I say, even if they think they can. I might make agreements with him and my other partners, but those are personal to ME and ME only.

Funny now that I think of it... I'm sort of like the family secretary. I have my husband's email account loaded in my mail program, and I have been known to write "official" emails on his behalf, with "Regards, Erwin Schrodinger" at the end.

But never without him virtually dictating those letters, with me just making it sound more official-like. I basically type 10x faster than him, I can type as fast as I can think and faster than he can talk. Also, I'm all lernded in skool so's I right gud inglish.

But I would never presume to know how he thinks :P Oh sure, he's as predictable as the next guy... except when he isn't ;)

Magdlyn 11-18-2011 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat (Post 111471)
"Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf"


So now I have to start buying different loaves of bread? And I can't sip his coffee? wth?

Hehe, it's a metaphor, silly girl. Pretty good one.


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