NovemberRain
New member
Hi all,
Been awhile. For those following my story, one bf has been kind of nice; I stepped back from my stupid job (was a manager, now I'm not; still over-worked, but no bone-crushing responsibility).
So, there's a lovely woman at work. When I first got there, we became friends, it was clear that we were smart, and kindred spirits. Then I realized she had the potential for batshit crazy, and that scared me, so I backed up a bit. Then I became the boss, and we both stayed backed up to a proper professional distance.
A few months ago, I became not-the-boss, and we sort of got close again. About a year ago, she had a huge life-changing (and fairly traumatic) event; and I got as mother-bear as I could. Oh, she's 20 years my junior.
She came in one day and mentioned she and her hubs would like to join me at my local poly coffee thing. They were too exhausted to come last time.
A few days ago, she called and confessed/professed her love and sexual desire for me. It was a very long conversation, and she definitely sounded under the influence. I learned that we shared a more similar history of trauma than we had each previously known about each other.
I adore her; and I'm not going there. For so, so many reasons it would not be a good idea. But I'm not sure I'm handling it well, and perhaps it's just been so long since I've had to feel anything challenging...well that's why I'm asking your thoughts.
I remember feeling so much like she seems to feel. I'm 20 years later and *mountains* of therapy later, and I'm not remotely tempted to enter into that kind of potential trouble. I have moments where I think I feel sad, because (sadly, actually), I could have been wooed, but that confession had pretty much the opposite effect. Then I remember it's not about me.
I suspect she knows exactly how safe I am; and is testing that. I'm pretty sure I can stand up to the test; and still wish I didn't have to. She deserves healing, just like we all do; but that healing isn't going to happen in my bed. Maybe over dinner or at coffee or even at work. But not in any bed with me.
I haven't brought it up; and feel like I should. My fear is that she will deny any such conversation ever happened (since she was under the influence).
Okay, I best be going to sleep. If you have any helpful things to offer, I'd much appreciate hearing from you.
Been awhile. For those following my story, one bf has been kind of nice; I stepped back from my stupid job (was a manager, now I'm not; still over-worked, but no bone-crushing responsibility).
So, there's a lovely woman at work. When I first got there, we became friends, it was clear that we were smart, and kindred spirits. Then I realized she had the potential for batshit crazy, and that scared me, so I backed up a bit. Then I became the boss, and we both stayed backed up to a proper professional distance.
A few months ago, I became not-the-boss, and we sort of got close again. About a year ago, she had a huge life-changing (and fairly traumatic) event; and I got as mother-bear as I could. Oh, she's 20 years my junior.
She came in one day and mentioned she and her hubs would like to join me at my local poly coffee thing. They were too exhausted to come last time.
A few days ago, she called and confessed/professed her love and sexual desire for me. It was a very long conversation, and she definitely sounded under the influence. I learned that we shared a more similar history of trauma than we had each previously known about each other.
I adore her; and I'm not going there. For so, so many reasons it would not be a good idea. But I'm not sure I'm handling it well, and perhaps it's just been so long since I've had to feel anything challenging...well that's why I'm asking your thoughts.
I remember feeling so much like she seems to feel. I'm 20 years later and *mountains* of therapy later, and I'm not remotely tempted to enter into that kind of potential trouble. I have moments where I think I feel sad, because (sadly, actually), I could have been wooed, but that confession had pretty much the opposite effect. Then I remember it's not about me.
I suspect she knows exactly how safe I am; and is testing that. I'm pretty sure I can stand up to the test; and still wish I didn't have to. She deserves healing, just like we all do; but that healing isn't going to happen in my bed. Maybe over dinner or at coffee or even at work. But not in any bed with me.
I haven't brought it up; and feel like I should. My fear is that she will deny any such conversation ever happened (since she was under the influence).
Okay, I best be going to sleep. If you have any helpful things to offer, I'd much appreciate hearing from you.