Bisexual, Pansexual, Polysexual...is it all semantics?

GroundedSpirit

New member
Female bisexuality

From another thread came the topic of female bisexuality and I thought it would be interesting to get some thoughts from the girls here.

We've seen a theory proposed in the past that basically says that a majority (maybe LARGE majority) of females are bisexual by nature (from birth).
At the time is was kind of a new insight to me but given the fact that it was voiced by another woman I found it interesting. One of the observations she offered to support it at the time was from observing the behavior of young girls in their interactions. She was an elementary school teacher. Interestingly enough she herself did NOT identify as being bisexual but knew many other women her age who did. Her observations included seeing how much physical contact commonly occurred between young girls as opposed to the boys. Holding hands, hugging, kissing etc.
But even with all that, it left me wondering how much was actually nature vs how much was it encouraged (intentionally or otherwise) by modern society.
Research I've seen seems to have wide variations in any conclusions drawn regarding bisexuality & gender although I think part of that is due to some variation in definition of "bisexuality" period.

But what do all of you (girls) feel ? If you identify with being bisexual do you feel it was always part of you - or was it more of a conditioned response ?

For the purposes of this discussion I'd like to see us adhere to a definition of "bisexuality" as
"a willingness to participate sexually with another female without reservation".
The whole other potential definition of "attraction" would require something different.

GS
 
But what do all of you (boys) feel ? If you identify with being straight do you feel it was always part of you - or was it more of a conditioned response?

fixed it for ya
 
So non-sexual behavior somehow predicts adult sexuality? That's a bit of a stretch. Boys also spend all sorts of time touching each other, engaged in wrestling and assorted horseplay. Is that supposed to indicate that every man is inherently bisexual until socialized to be gay or straight? (Yeah, lots of social pressure to be gay in our society....)
 
I recently saw a vid of Osama Bin Laden being greeted by another man. Sitting on pillows on the floor, they did a triple cheek kiss, shook hands and sat there holding hands as they chatted.

oh noes! the gai! it burns!
 
I thought it would be interesting to get some thoughts from the girls here.

This is an 18 and over website. There are no girls on here if we're doing our job. I find it really hard to respond to the subject you are bringing up when I feel offended by a slight like this from the get-go. Do you understand what I'm saying, little boy? (for demonstration purposes only)


We've seen a theory proposed in the past that basically says that a majority (maybe LARGE majority) of females are bisexual by nature (from birth).

Does you partner have a name or could you invent one? Or say I instead of we? I feel like you're writing for someone who obviously never writes in these posts. It's just weird, IMO.

As to your theory, I'm going to say something even more controversial- I think all humans are bisexual, and it's a matter of societal conditioning and experience that determines whether the person ever identifies with that. :)

But what do all of you women feel?If you identify with being bisexual do you feel it was always part of you - or was it more of a conditioned response ?

I do feel it was entirely natural to me. And my first sexual experiences were during play as a child with female friends. Once I entered adulthood and came up against the abuse thrown at same-sex relationships, there was a period of time when I didn't want to think about being with women, because I was so wrapped up in the fairy tale monogamy marriage paradigm. But I'm over that now. :)

For the purposes of this discussion I'd like to see us adhere to a definition of "bisexuality" as
"a willingness to participate sexually with another female without reservation".

Your definition confuses me. It doesn't really seem to mean anything. And I would take issue with bisexuality being defined in terms of being a lesbian. What is missing here.. oh yeah, the other gender.
 
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This is an 18 and over website. There are no girls on here if we're doing our job here. I find it really hard to respond to the subject you are bringing up when I feel offended by a slight like this from the get-go. Do you understand what I'm saying, little boy? (for demonstration purposes only)




Does you partner have a name or could you invent one? Or say I instead of we? I feel like you're writing for someone who obviously never writes in these posts. It's just weird, IMO.

We could start referring to Grounded Spirit as "it", "they" or some other pronoun.

But actually, I think the real reason that "girls" are turning to bisexuality is because we aren't getting enough sex from the "boys" in our lives. Don't you think so too?
 
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I haven't found bisexuality to be prevelant at all, anywhere. I'm talking for real, not the "I do it cause its cool," or "my boyfriend likes it," or "I'm curious" reasons. I'm talking, drawn to both sexes at different times depending on the person or time of sexual life.

I don't know where you got your info from GS, but I would say that both sexes have sexuality and both experience it with their peers when they are young. I see it in my son in the form of playing "hiding from the grown ups" with his friend. I don't know what he does under the comforter with his male friend, but its not just about hide and seek.

I'm thankful that different forms of sexuality are more accepted but I don't think it means that female bisexuals are more prevalent. Just more societally accepted than male bisexuality.
 
Her observations included seeing how much physical contact commonly occurred between young girls as opposed to the boys. Holding hands, hugging, kissing etc.

What is observed is what society deems acceptable to be demonstrated in public.
It has been the case for many years that the same sort of physical affection expressed between boys is not acceptable - and they are quickly made aware of that, at a discouragingly young age.

Like redpepper, I don't see truly bisexual females as being any more prevalent where I live and experience.
What I do see (even in the little slice of conservative red in a blue state where I happen to reside) is more willingness by those whose sexual orientation is not purely hetero to acknowledge that fact, openly.
Matter of factly even, because the way society views sexual orientation is changing and I give great thanks to the LGBT rights movement for paving the way for that.
 
Most women I have dated were bisexual or at least said they wanted to be with another woman. So that is my personal anecdotal data.

From studies, I lean more to the idea that men and women fall somewhere on the bisexual scale. I think a big difference is that society is more encouraging of women being with women than with men being with men. So they don't feel as much pressure to act more heterosexual than men do. Plus it seems to be a fad for two women to make out to turn guys on. (While I would like to believe they want each other, I think many cases are just to tease guys.)

Maybe when society becomes less male homophobic, we will see more bisexual men pubically. I have a gut feeling that basic bisexuality is probably equal in both genders.
 
OMG!!! Yipee!!

Maybe when society becomes less male homophobic, we will see more bisexual men pubically. I have a gut feeling that basic bisexuality is probably equal in both genders.

Do I really get to be the one to catch "pubically"!!??? HA!
 
I'll second Rarechild here and put in my two cents, that its been my experience and overall thoughts that we are all actually bisexual and simply alot of us either never meet the right person to bring out those feelings or we pay too much attention to the mean spirited ways of the world looking down on same sex partners and either squash the feelings inside or refuse to acknowledge them

growing up in a smaller town, surrounded by not very open minded people or ideas, it was very confusing and upsetting to feel a knowledge within myself that i didn't have words to help me understand or places to seek information about why i was so different. i just knew i had stronger than friendship feelings to several of my girlhood friends and would love to watch them for hours just doing whatever. it wasn't til in my teens that i even really knew and understood one could have sexual feelings towards others of the same sex and that it was not bad or evil to have said feelings

as far as what kids get up to when discovering themselves, well i was late to that party as well, so i can't really help there either

as to whether more gals are bi than the guys? well, i don't personally think so, i bet most of the guys who aren't saying they are is simply due to society making them feel wrong for wanting it and or their own personal reasons/issues for not being up front about it
 
Thanks

Some interesting thoughts here from everyone. Thanks for taking a moment.
As is usual there's several of these responses that could take off on their own probably. Maybe they will ?
I don't know if it's practical for me to add a personal response to all of them but will try to add to a few.

I think those that alluded to differences in how boys & girls show "affection" was an interesting point. If any supposition was drawn by the friend I mentioned that made the observation, it might be wise to keep that in mind. That fact that they observed more....."touchy/feely" behavior from the girls may be nothing more than the difference in ways that affection is shown with the genders. Good point !

For anyone who took the definition to task I'd ask them to just please go back and re-read. The necessity of that was nothing more than to keep us all focused on the question. The term "bisexuality" can & does go off in MANY directions, especially one dealing with relative "attraction". Some clearly picked up on the need for that - others clearly didn't. It was necessary for this particular discussion to keep it tightly bound all the while acknowledging there were other definitions that could take us in MANY directions.

For those who may be confused be the I/we association by MY writing I'll just clear that up - again - by explaining that "K" (my wife/mate/soulmate/partner etc) has a bit of an aversion to the computer, particularly typing more than a few sentences. I use either "I" or "we" accordingly, depending on whether the subject is one that we've spent significant time discussing in the past, or lived shared experiences. Either one of us would be more than capable of sharing the others perspectives on most basic things and for the most part we're very much in sync (except on food or movie preferences) lol. It's only that "I" end up doing the "typing" so have to take responsibility for words used.

But to echo what someone else posted, from what studies I've seen there seems to be no dramatic difference between the genders regarding bisexuality - depending on how that's defined. Which leads us to point to societal factors as some pointed out. The question I had, and how I framed it (targeted at the ladies) was just drawn from the other thread where it originated. "I", myself, think it could well be made a gender neutral question, but again was restricting it only because that's where it "started".

Good stuff........
 
If there is any doubt about the patriarchy causing men to suppress their bi or homosexuality, one need look no further than the brouhaha around Adam Lambert's recent American Music Awards performance, in which he kissed his male keyboardist. This lost him appearances on a morning talk show and on the upcoming Dick Clark/Ryan Seacrest New Yr's Eve show.

adam-lambert-kissing-ama-775186.jpg


Now, Madonna and Britney can tongue kiss on prime time TV any day of the week and no one minds. But 2 men??? Its porn and will traumatize the children (never mind kids are more and more accepting of gays these days).

britney_madonna_kiss.jpg


Also, from my personal exp, since I am listed at okc as bi, i get hit on by many men who list themselves as straight on their profiles... but admit to being bi privately.
 
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Also, from my personal exp, since I am listed at okc as bi, i get hit on by many men who list themselves as straight on their profiles... but admit to being bi privately.

Heh...I've had that very same experience quite a bit too!
 
Just for fun

britney-spears-madonna-kiss-3.jpg


dick-clark-productions-adam-lambert-pics.jpg


OK, I'll stop now. heh But check your reactions, boys. Which one is hot, which one is disgusting?
 
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Me too with the okcupid thing and bi men!

I think that all of those photos are hot. There is nothing I like more than a little boy on boy action. I love watching my husband and our tersiary getting it on. I like telling them what I want to see and take pictures of them.
 
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OK, I'll stop now. heh But check your reactions, boys. Which one is hot, which one is disgusting?

Neither one was hot (Madonna guarantees I stay limp); neither one was disgusting.

Were the first to involve other women--women whom I find attractive--that one could be hot. The other would still garner a "meh."
 
I'd rather watch guys fuck or blow each other than kiss..kissing is too intimate LOL!!


Thanks for being honest, Mono! And now you can, if you wish, explore why you think men shouldnt be intimate w each other.
 
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