If anyone can give some insight I'd really appreciate it.
I've been involved with a guy for the last 4 months, who is polyamorous. He is still fairly new to this. When I first met him he told me he's polyamorous and that's fine with me.
In fact, he has a steady live-in girlfriend - I've met her. That was fine.
Anyway, we have been involved with one another for the last 4 months and during that time, we've been intimate with one another but not had full-on sex. At first, I didn't want full-on sex with him as I'm interested in creating a friendship relationship with him and maybe later, friends with benefits.
The thing is, I've now decided that I can't have full-on sex with him and I've told him that. I've also told him on numerous ocassions that my friendship with him is the most important and he tells me he 'gets it'.
However, during the last 4 months, when I did previously mention that I wanted sex with him, he backed off as he was afraid that I'd get attached to him. He has also previously said that one minute he wants to have sex with me and the next minute, he doesn't. The other day, we were intimate with one another and during that time he said "You know it's ok for us to just be friends?"
I reiterated to him that that is why a friendship with him is most important to me and again he said he 'gets it'.
At the moment, it seems to me that we are going around in circles with this relationship. We have spent time together without being intimate and it's been great.
I've told him what I want from him, but he's never actually told me what he wants with/from me. He seems to just leave it up to me to tell him what I want and he 'gets it'.
I've tried arranging for us both to get together, but he ignores that. In the last few days, I've suggested that if he wants to get together then he should let me know. Whether he does or not is another matter.
The thing is, I really care about this guy and I want to keep the lines of communication open, however, I can't keep prompting him to do things with me. When we first got together, he would contact me and ask to get together, but now that isn't really the case.
So, do I back off for a while and see what happens, or do I stay in contact with him regularly to ask how he's doing etc, etc?. I think this is what people who are true friends would do and do do. I don't want to walk away, but at the same time, I can't be too pushy.
Feeling a bit confused right now. Any help/advise is appreciated.
Thanks
I've been involved with a guy for the last 4 months, who is polyamorous. He is still fairly new to this. When I first met him he told me he's polyamorous and that's fine with me.
In fact, he has a steady live-in girlfriend - I've met her. That was fine.
Anyway, we have been involved with one another for the last 4 months and during that time, we've been intimate with one another but not had full-on sex. At first, I didn't want full-on sex with him as I'm interested in creating a friendship relationship with him and maybe later, friends with benefits.
The thing is, I've now decided that I can't have full-on sex with him and I've told him that. I've also told him on numerous ocassions that my friendship with him is the most important and he tells me he 'gets it'.
However, during the last 4 months, when I did previously mention that I wanted sex with him, he backed off as he was afraid that I'd get attached to him. He has also previously said that one minute he wants to have sex with me and the next minute, he doesn't. The other day, we were intimate with one another and during that time he said "You know it's ok for us to just be friends?"
I reiterated to him that that is why a friendship with him is most important to me and again he said he 'gets it'.
At the moment, it seems to me that we are going around in circles with this relationship. We have spent time together without being intimate and it's been great.
I've told him what I want from him, but he's never actually told me what he wants with/from me. He seems to just leave it up to me to tell him what I want and he 'gets it'.
I've tried arranging for us both to get together, but he ignores that. In the last few days, I've suggested that if he wants to get together then he should let me know. Whether he does or not is another matter.
The thing is, I really care about this guy and I want to keep the lines of communication open, however, I can't keep prompting him to do things with me. When we first got together, he would contact me and ask to get together, but now that isn't really the case.
So, do I back off for a while and see what happens, or do I stay in contact with him regularly to ask how he's doing etc, etc?. I think this is what people who are true friends would do and do do. I don't want to walk away, but at the same time, I can't be too pushy.
Feeling a bit confused right now. Any help/advise is appreciated.
Thanks