PhilosophicallyLost
New member
In my husband and one of his close friends, I have encountered a sentiment of poly being essentially unfair. He's even told me that he doesn't wish to date a girl outside of me because he thinks it would be unfair to *me*. I found the statement strange, because I found it assumptive on what I would and would not find fair. Hell, I'd argue it would be more fair to both of us if he did date someone, but alas.
I don't believe that poly is more unfair than monogamy. I tend to adhere that life is essentially unfair, because we all react to every individual uniquely. I strive to act on everyone's feelings as equally as I can, without disregarding my own. It's not a fair situation, but I am trying to be as fair and ethical as the circumstances will allow. That is the kind of fairness I endorse.
I see a consistent attitude that acting on feelings for someone else is unfair to that person, with no shades of grey. Yet I see people in a monogamous situations act on such feelings very thing often, and I can't help feeling it is disingenuous to discount alternative lifestyles. Am I just being insanely idealist and out of touch? I just wish sometimes I lived in a society where loving multiple people was expected and embraced.
I don't believe that poly is more unfair than monogamy. I tend to adhere that life is essentially unfair, because we all react to every individual uniquely. I strive to act on everyone's feelings as equally as I can, without disregarding my own. It's not a fair situation, but I am trying to be as fair and ethical as the circumstances will allow. That is the kind of fairness I endorse.
I see a consistent attitude that acting on feelings for someone else is unfair to that person, with no shades of grey. Yet I see people in a monogamous situations act on such feelings very thing often, and I can't help feeling it is disingenuous to discount alternative lifestyles. Am I just being insanely idealist and out of touch? I just wish sometimes I lived in a society where loving multiple people was expected and embraced.