RobertJason
New member
Hi,
I wanted to post my unique situation and see if anyone with some experience or insight can help me find the truth within the details.
I've been seeing a girl since the end of November. When we first dated, I'd recently gotten out of a relationship and was excited about dating and meeting new people. I said I was unsure I could commit to one person and give up the fun of meeting new people. She said, "I think you're polyamorous". I thought, maybe, but I'm pretty sure I can only handle one full time relationship.
So, here we are 3 months later, and she wants to have an open relationship. She wants to have sex with a guy who she met recently who practices Tantra and is muscular. And a drummer who she's had a crush on since she was young (who recently sent her a photo of his penis, which she solicited when sexting). She assures me that she loves me and doesn't want a relationship with anyone else. She's very affectionate with me, and we talk openly about everything, to a level I've never experienced with anyone. She wanted my opinion on it and I've been telling her I'm hesitant at this stage to be happy about it. She usually gets her way, with a bit of a princess personality, which normally I'm not bothered by. But, in this case, she's still flirting with these men, and one has asked if he can be her 'secondary'.
Since we've talked about the possibilities of polyamory, and I've at times said 'I don't like it' and other times said, 'maybe it'd work okay'... She is updating me on these guys in the name of open communication.
Part of me thinks, 'wow, great, I can open up an online dating profile and meet some new great people'... but, another part of me says, 'why not do it as a single person and get out of this situation?'.
Last night, I asked her to come with me to a polyamory meetup to talk to others about it, and she said she just wants sex, so polyamory doesn't apply to her, that multiple 'loves' would be more my thing.
I think the motivation behind all of it, is that she is very hypersexual (possibly nympho). She is constantly turned on, constantly horny, wet, etc. I LOVE sex, but 3-times a week is enough for me. We've been having sex 1-2 times a day, usually before bed and upon waking. She cums hard and loves it, often times 5-10 times per session. but she still wants other men. She even says that the more she has sex, the more she wants it, so me pleasing her twice a day, makes her more likely to seek out other men. We don't have a boring sex life, fetishes, taboo, public fun, dirty talk, paying attention to physical responses... we've got it all down and its fun and great, with tons of communication.
I am confused, I feel like I'm being manipulated or walked on. She is a loving, caring, sweet, sensitive person in a healing industry. So, I know it would break her heart if she thought she was treating me badly, but I think she can't help this need, and will continue to 'sell' me on what her needs are until they are met. I'm finding that many of my wants aren't in line with hers, so she ends up getting what she wants and I don't... Not just with sex, but day to day items.
Any advice, or people who've seen this sort of thing before, please chime in. I would appreciate the help.
Robert Jason
I wanted to post my unique situation and see if anyone with some experience or insight can help me find the truth within the details.
I've been seeing a girl since the end of November. When we first dated, I'd recently gotten out of a relationship and was excited about dating and meeting new people. I said I was unsure I could commit to one person and give up the fun of meeting new people. She said, "I think you're polyamorous". I thought, maybe, but I'm pretty sure I can only handle one full time relationship.
So, here we are 3 months later, and she wants to have an open relationship. She wants to have sex with a guy who she met recently who practices Tantra and is muscular. And a drummer who she's had a crush on since she was young (who recently sent her a photo of his penis, which she solicited when sexting). She assures me that she loves me and doesn't want a relationship with anyone else. She's very affectionate with me, and we talk openly about everything, to a level I've never experienced with anyone. She wanted my opinion on it and I've been telling her I'm hesitant at this stage to be happy about it. She usually gets her way, with a bit of a princess personality, which normally I'm not bothered by. But, in this case, she's still flirting with these men, and one has asked if he can be her 'secondary'.
Since we've talked about the possibilities of polyamory, and I've at times said 'I don't like it' and other times said, 'maybe it'd work okay'... She is updating me on these guys in the name of open communication.
Part of me thinks, 'wow, great, I can open up an online dating profile and meet some new great people'... but, another part of me says, 'why not do it as a single person and get out of this situation?'.
Last night, I asked her to come with me to a polyamory meetup to talk to others about it, and she said she just wants sex, so polyamory doesn't apply to her, that multiple 'loves' would be more my thing.
I think the motivation behind all of it, is that she is very hypersexual (possibly nympho). She is constantly turned on, constantly horny, wet, etc. I LOVE sex, but 3-times a week is enough for me. We've been having sex 1-2 times a day, usually before bed and upon waking. She cums hard and loves it, often times 5-10 times per session. but she still wants other men. She even says that the more she has sex, the more she wants it, so me pleasing her twice a day, makes her more likely to seek out other men. We don't have a boring sex life, fetishes, taboo, public fun, dirty talk, paying attention to physical responses... we've got it all down and its fun and great, with tons of communication.
I am confused, I feel like I'm being manipulated or walked on. She is a loving, caring, sweet, sensitive person in a healing industry. So, I know it would break her heart if she thought she was treating me badly, but I think she can't help this need, and will continue to 'sell' me on what her needs are until they are met. I'm finding that many of my wants aren't in line with hers, so she ends up getting what she wants and I don't... Not just with sex, but day to day items.
Any advice, or people who've seen this sort of thing before, please chime in. I would appreciate the help.
Robert Jason