I am a mono trapped in a poly relationship, she wants it, I do not.
I love her dearly, but when isn't love enough? Every time she fools around or sleeping with one of her partners I feel cheated on, literally sick to my stomach. It doesn't turn me on in any way whatsoever to think of her with her partners (all female). Attempting to compensate I try to begin my own relationship but I feel nothing and more then likely will let it fail. She tries to urge me to be "open" but I feel like it's her way of not feeling guilty if we are both doing it, if that makes any sense.
The reason I have not it quits yet, is because I cant put my finger on what is bother me.
I am not especially jealous, I see the person as competition more then anything else. I have no problems personally attracting women to me, so it's not a confidence thing. I have no issue with the lifestyle in itself, just the thought of her being with someone else makes me ill.
I want her to be happy, and it's almost like I love her so much I wanna leave her so my feelings don't mess with her poly "inner self".
TLDR - I am miserable, I dont want her to be miserable to make me happy. And Id do anything to save us and figure out how to work through this.
Thank you.
I love her dearly, but when isn't love enough? Every time she fools around or sleeping with one of her partners I feel cheated on, literally sick to my stomach. It doesn't turn me on in any way whatsoever to think of her with her partners (all female). Attempting to compensate I try to begin my own relationship but I feel nothing and more then likely will let it fail. She tries to urge me to be "open" but I feel like it's her way of not feeling guilty if we are both doing it, if that makes any sense.
The reason I have not it quits yet, is because I cant put my finger on what is bother me.
I am not especially jealous, I see the person as competition more then anything else. I have no problems personally attracting women to me, so it's not a confidence thing. I have no issue with the lifestyle in itself, just the thought of her being with someone else makes me ill.
I want her to be happy, and it's almost like I love her so much I wanna leave her so my feelings don't mess with her poly "inner self".
TLDR - I am miserable, I dont want her to be miserable to make me happy. And Id do anything to save us and figure out how to work through this.
Thank you.
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