blueboxbrat
New member
How have you handled challenges in remaining friends with metamors post-breakup? Specifically if the relationship that linked you did not end gracefully.
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London, to clarify: you avoid friendships with metamours? I don't like to be expected to hang out with metamours, but I personally would prefer to be friendly if not friends with mine. I think it makes communication easier (I'm a fan of talking out problems with the polycule when necessary). To each their own, though. I'm constantly intrigued at how different folks handle this stuff.
Anyone else? What are your post-relationship metamour experiences? I suppose it's unpopular in the poly community at large to not remain friends with former lovers, so I suppose this could be a hard one to talk about.
This is part of the reason I avoid these types of relationships with metamours.
London, to clarify: you avoid friendships with metamours? I don't like to be expected to hang out with metamours, but I personally would prefer to be friendly if not friends with mine. I think it makes communication easier (I'm a fan of talking out problems with the polycule when necessary). To each their own, though. I'm constantly intrigued at how different folks handle this stuff.
So my point is, if you and your partner(s) do a lot of dating outside your social circle, or you have different social circles, then avoiding/not getting to know metamours is definitely an option. When they're pretty much everywhere you go, it's difficult, and probably not very healthy to avoid them. These are probably the circumstances where break-ups become most awkward regarding post-breakup friendships. In my opinion anyway.
If I were already friends with them, I'd put in quite rigid boundaries when they initially started dating about my role in their relationship, which would basically be me stating that I don't have one. I'd also state that the normal way that my partner might discuss his relationship issues, and my friend might discuss their relationship issues with me is not an option. They'd have to get that from someone else.