ClarkMorgan
New member
This is long, but I'm desperate and need any help I can get.
My wife and I have been married 27 years. Over that time our sex life ranged from OK to poor to non-existent. She has always had to use a vibrator to climax. Over the years we watched videos, read books, etc. We tried different positions, oral, slow, fast, anything we could think of, but nothing improved the sex and we soon gave up trying. I should say that I gave up. Basically our sex life was foreplay, sometimes oral, intercourse, her use the vibrator and them me finish. I never really put out the effort to find something that work would for her. I’m not sure if it was laziness on my part, I thought things were OK as is, I thought we both accepted it would never get better, or some combination of those. At any rate I take full responsibility.
Six months ago she started an affair with a married man in another town. The affair soon turned into love for both of them. I found out two months ago and although devastated, I wasn’t really surprised. Neither one of us wants a divorce so we decided to work through it using the Polyamory model. I agreed to let her continue seeing him because I truly want her to be happy and I know how dissatisfied she was with our sex life. The only boundaries we have is that she can only meet him when I’m working, she has to tell me when they are meeting and be completely honest.
They meet twice a week at a motel half-way between our towns. The sex is a big part of it, but they also enjoy each other’s company and talk on the phone several times a day. They really are in love. It took me two months, but I have come to accept this arrangement. The other agreement we had was that we both had to be happy. She was happy because she had great sex twice a week. The only way for me to be happy was for her to show she still loves me and that we continued to have sex. I really needed the stress relief and most important the intimacy. Our sex life has even gotten a little better and the frequency went up.
He is a lot better in bed than I am. His penis and fingers are both bigger and he can reach places I can’t. She says the sex with him is completely different. He kisses better, touches her better, can read her body, etc. They don’t do anything different than we do as far as positions, using toys, etc. She still has to use a vibrator to climax but he can bring her to multiple orgasms. She said that if even if I did the exact same thing he does it wouldn’t be the same.
We have been working on improving our sex life over the last couple of months, and even though it has gotten better, she has given up and no longer wants to try. I perform oral sex on her better and longer than he does, but she says that is not enough. She says she gave me enough chances over the years and I always gave up, so now she’s giving up on me. She says when all she ever had was a Hershey bar (me) it was OK, but now that she’s tried Godiva Chocolate (him) she doesn’t want to go back.
I have no intention of replacing him because I know I can’t, but I need to find a way for her to enjoy sex with me and want to have sex again. The only way I can do that is by trying different things until I find something that works. She says I don’t have to do what he does, but wants me to find my own thing that will give her the pleasure he does.
Want can I do? She is not into anal, three-somes, kinky, BDSM, handcuffs, scented candles, etc. She would watch porn and may be into playful spanking. I usually go slow so I could try being more aggressive/dominant. I need some suggestions on what I can try that would drive her crazy. What positions and techniques work best with a small penis? I know I brought this on myself, but PLEASE HELP – I am desperate. Please don’t tell me it’s too late. I will try anything.
My wife and I have been married 27 years. Over that time our sex life ranged from OK to poor to non-existent. She has always had to use a vibrator to climax. Over the years we watched videos, read books, etc. We tried different positions, oral, slow, fast, anything we could think of, but nothing improved the sex and we soon gave up trying. I should say that I gave up. Basically our sex life was foreplay, sometimes oral, intercourse, her use the vibrator and them me finish. I never really put out the effort to find something that work would for her. I’m not sure if it was laziness on my part, I thought things were OK as is, I thought we both accepted it would never get better, or some combination of those. At any rate I take full responsibility.
Six months ago she started an affair with a married man in another town. The affair soon turned into love for both of them. I found out two months ago and although devastated, I wasn’t really surprised. Neither one of us wants a divorce so we decided to work through it using the Polyamory model. I agreed to let her continue seeing him because I truly want her to be happy and I know how dissatisfied she was with our sex life. The only boundaries we have is that she can only meet him when I’m working, she has to tell me when they are meeting and be completely honest.
They meet twice a week at a motel half-way between our towns. The sex is a big part of it, but they also enjoy each other’s company and talk on the phone several times a day. They really are in love. It took me two months, but I have come to accept this arrangement. The other agreement we had was that we both had to be happy. She was happy because she had great sex twice a week. The only way for me to be happy was for her to show she still loves me and that we continued to have sex. I really needed the stress relief and most important the intimacy. Our sex life has even gotten a little better and the frequency went up.
He is a lot better in bed than I am. His penis and fingers are both bigger and he can reach places I can’t. She says the sex with him is completely different. He kisses better, touches her better, can read her body, etc. They don’t do anything different than we do as far as positions, using toys, etc. She still has to use a vibrator to climax but he can bring her to multiple orgasms. She said that if even if I did the exact same thing he does it wouldn’t be the same.
We have been working on improving our sex life over the last couple of months, and even though it has gotten better, she has given up and no longer wants to try. I perform oral sex on her better and longer than he does, but she says that is not enough. She says she gave me enough chances over the years and I always gave up, so now she’s giving up on me. She says when all she ever had was a Hershey bar (me) it was OK, but now that she’s tried Godiva Chocolate (him) she doesn’t want to go back.
I have no intention of replacing him because I know I can’t, but I need to find a way for her to enjoy sex with me and want to have sex again. The only way I can do that is by trying different things until I find something that works. She says I don’t have to do what he does, but wants me to find my own thing that will give her the pleasure he does.
Want can I do? She is not into anal, three-somes, kinky, BDSM, handcuffs, scented candles, etc. She would watch porn and may be into playful spanking. I usually go slow so I could try being more aggressive/dominant. I need some suggestions on what I can try that would drive her crazy. What positions and techniques work best with a small penis? I know I brought this on myself, but PLEASE HELP – I am desperate. Please don’t tell me it’s too late. I will try anything.