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-   -   Polyamory Conflicts. (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3838)

GhostVixen 09-29-2010 08:06 AM

Polyamory Conflicts.
Hello, still new here, but a bit of crazy and uncertainty has come towards my self and my partner, now we are Primaries in our main relationship, but before me he was involved with girl X, who girl X was engaged and now married to
guy Z, now once I came in to the picture Girl X turned on me and now shows much disrespect in public forums and events. It makes me crazy, upset and I tend to cry on most occasions because of it. My Guy, Guy 1 is the only current main in my life, i do have lovers and the like but no one like he has with girl X, who can give him much more then I can, she is a bottom and submissive where i am a top and so is he. So she give him something he needs, as well as he cares for her and does love her. But there is no peace between her and I because he is now with me, so girl X and guy Z refuse to speak with me and I have been ostracized from their lives as their friend though before I became involved with guy 1 so now this is where I stand.

So what i am asking is, has anyone gone through something similar and found a possible fix and or has any reference material, please and thank you.

Any help would be appreciated.


Vinccenzo 09-29-2010 05:23 PM

Has she expressed why she doesn't like you? Is guy Z taking issue with you only because girl X doesn't like you?

What does your partner propose to do to try to manage this concerning the feelings of all involved? I mean, I get that he is a top and wants someone submissive to play with, but why HER if she can't accept you? she isn't the only submissive girl on Earth. Did she ever like you?

I guess I'm looking at this -
She was with your primary before you came along but she had guy Z with her even then. This says she is familiar to some kind of open relationship/poly enough that she expects both her male lovers to accept that.
But then one of her male lovers begins a relationship with another (you) and she isn't applying the acceptance to it she expects out of her partners?

That just leaves me to wonder what her grounds for not liking you are.....

GhostVixen 09-29-2010 05:38 PM

We were friends, or so I though, she had me at her wedding, she treated me as a friend.. But in the end her reason from what I have heard from my guy is that she just doesn't like me. It is quite bizarre, but the whole issue is that she claims to be this way, poly, which in her mind i am sure she is, and her husband is also, but of course he sides with his wife, which i totally expect, I would side with my primary partner in the same situation to support them. But what makes it hard is I see so many of my friends who are poly in a close situation where everyone seems to get along and can talk or at least be civil to each other, but there is no civility here. All i want is to be able to be comfortable and have him in a healthy relationship with another, but he cares for and loves her, and he is fiercely loyal.. But he hates that it is affecting me. He wants us all to be happy but it bugs him the two women in his life can not get along, I want to but she does not even want to try. SO my issue is what do I do? How do we work it out? and where do we go now?


Vinccenzo 09-29-2010 05:54 PM

Being fiercely loyal is a great quality, but what s the point in bestowing that to someone can't do the same in return or even give it a try? And if he is fiercely loyal, where does that come into play when she is being nasty and you're crying?

Just sayin.....

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