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-   -   Newbie to this ... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1670)

TexasBorn21 12-05-2009 05:12 AM

Newbie to this ...
Hi All..

I am new to this.. and just trying to figure it out..I am an older single woman in a relationship with a younger married man, his wife is fully aware of this and encourages us, We go out on dates and he spends the night with me, How do I keep this all in check?

AutumnalTone 12-05-2009 05:48 AM

In check?


Sweetheart 12-05-2009 09:05 AM

When you say, "How do I keep all this in check?", do you mean you are worried about some aspect of this relationship arrangement? It sounds like everything is under control, from what you described. What aspect worries you?

Fidelia 12-05-2009 04:37 PM

Howdy TexasBorn21! :) Welcome to the forums.

I'm Texas born m'self. Texas bred too, come to think of it. :D

What part of your relationship do you feel needs to be kept in check?

If everyone's needs are being met, and everyone's clear on what's going on and why, and everyone's being treated with respect, consideration and love, I'd say y'all have got it going on.

TexasBorn21 12-05-2009 08:54 PM

Newbie to this
Since this is my first poly, I just want to make sure I fully understand all bou dries and keep Me in check. Just concerned with my emotions!

Rarechild 12-06-2009 01:51 AM

Since all boundaries and emotions are different, it would help us help you if you gave us some of your concerns and feelings explicitly if you wish to.

Members here are great for "listening" and perspective.

Welcome again, and all the best to you and yours.


Fidelia 12-06-2009 04:42 AM


Originally Posted by TexasBorn21 (Post 14592)
Since this is my first poly, I just want to make sure I fully understand all bou dries and keep Me in check. Just concerned with my emotions!

The boundaries of your relationship(s) will be what you and your partner(s) agree to make them. Sorry if that seems vague, but it's the straight up truth.

One of the main ways polyamory differs from monogamy is that because so many of the traditional "normal" rules do not apply, each poly arrangement is unique unto itself. Thus, everything is open for discussion. One size does not fit all, so what's important is to find the boundaries that fit for you and your partner(s).

My advice for you is to think carefully about what you need and want from your relationships. As you become clearer on these needs and wants, share them with your partners in an open, honest, and loving way, and learn what each of them needs and wants. Decide together how to meet one another's needs, agree on what boundaries y'all need, and move forward together.

TexasBorn21 12-29-2009 04:36 AM

Thanks for all the advice.. We all seem to agree that Honesty..and Respect are the most important aspects of this relationship and so far things are going well.. Just a new learning experience for me...:D

Ravenesque 12-31-2009 10:03 AM

Welcome to the forums. Hope to see you posting :)


MonoVCPHG 12-31-2009 11:01 PM


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