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-   -   Simultaneous NRE (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4162)

Magdlyn 11-08-2010 02:36 PM

Simultaneous NRE
Well, this is a new twist for my gf and me. We've been together 20 mos, and I've met and dated quite a few people besides her. She's only met one person she's found suitable, last fall, and that relationship ended when that guy got too busy to pursue a relationship.

Now, this past week or so, she "met" a guy who found her online and they've been chatting lots and lots, and have plans to meet in person this week. He really sounds perfect for her, kinky, poly, respectful, bisexual and smart. And sexy, yeah. He's about her age and in a LTR with a woman, who is poly as well.

Meanwhile, Ive been narrowing my search for other partners to ones who are (very horny but also) interested in a real relationship, meeting regularly, doing activities, and really good at the art of literate informed humorous conversations.

A guy, R, messaged me on okc who seemed to fill this bill. We only chatted a couple times and he asked me to meet him for drinks. We ended up meeting last night, and it went pretty darn great. He seemed very open, honest and sincere. He's 39, single, never married, no kids. He messaged me this morning to say how much he enjoyed our date (polite! gotta love that).

So! Now both my gf and I are in the throes of new relationships with seemingly lots of potential (fingerscrossed). It definitely adds a new dynamic to our relationship. I sense we are both holding back on gushing to each other too much about our excitement...heh

No questions or problems yet, just wanted to write down my feelings about this simultaneous, very new relationship energy.

Comments welcome from anyone who has dealt with this situation before and has any words of wisdom.

NeonKaos 11-08-2010 02:41 PM

NO words of wisdom here, but it's great that you both have someone else you really like! Usually, you see on here people who TRY to "get it equal" and get really worked up about it, but as you can see, it happens by itself if you just go out and do your thing. I hope no one turns out to be a jerk after all!

MonoVCPHG 11-08-2010 03:30 PM

I'm looking forward to hearing about this Magdlyn. We get lots of feedback on one sided NRE either from those experiencing it or those struggling from their partner's.
I'll be interesting to see how you share in the experience and can presumably enjoy it more because your GF will be enjoying her own budding relationship :)

Very cool!

redpepper 11-08-2010 04:30 PM

did you mean this to be a blog Magdlyn? cool if you do... just wondering...

Magdlyn 11-08-2010 04:32 PM

Yes, RP, a blog, with comments welcome.

Fidelia 11-10-2010 09:18 PM

Ooh, yummy! I just love that feeling, when I've met someone who seems terrific, and there's that spark, and I can't wait to get to know them better! Yummy yum yum!

And for both of you to be experiencing this at the same time! Sweet!

Wherever things go from here, savor these moments. :)

Magdlyn 11-11-2010 01:46 PM

Thanks for the well wishes.

More background: my new interest, R, is an MD, an anesthesiologist. Therefore he works long hours during the week, but is only on call one weekend every 2 months. Since I met my gf we have reserved weekends for each other, but I guess that will have to change now, if R and I become a thing. He wants to see me this Sunday. He lives in Boston quite near my gf's place but hasnt visited my city of Lowell (20 miles north of Boston) and would like to come see me in Lowell this weekend.

My gf's new guy, M, lives in a close suburb of Boston. He's a tech geek like her and can chat online most of the day, so they chat a lot. I don't get to chat w R as much. I'm a bit envious of this, but not jealous.

Having new people in our lives, it's kind of like we both have new friends, and it's fun to share w each other the things we are finding out about our guys. Our relationship with each other, since it's still fairly new, was never boring or constricting, so we didnt *need* new energy to be excited about each other all over again, but it's definitely adding a new dimension to things.

Another aspect of my gf's new guy is that he is sub to his gf, they are in a M/s relationship. And my gf is potentially going to be M's slave, if it all works out. She's been a lifestyle slave before, and craves it for her own development, but I am not quite sure how this dynamic will work out since she and I are a couple. I'm kinky but fairly ignorant of lifestyle Master/Mistress/slave couples/triads. My gf has been looking all along for a Master or Mistress who is fine with her having a gf and can respect that and make it all work.

I've looked at the okc profile of M's gf/mistress and she seems kinda intimidating and ... bitchy. Ive been told she is less so in person and her profile is just meant to put off the asshole guys there. However, she invited herself along on my gf's lunch date tomorrow! But she'll only be with them for part of the date.

So now my gf is all twitterpated and primping for her date. I hope it goes great.

NeonKaos 11-11-2010 01:59 PM

This is very interesting! I will be following this instead of Top Chef now (I canceled my cable-TV channels and it's between seasons anyway).

gomugirl1656 11-11-2010 02:01 PM

I look forward to hearing more about your experiences here. Thanks for sharing some shiny happy feelings with us. Good Luck.

Magdlyn 11-11-2010 02:04 PM


Originally Posted by NeonKaos (Post 52229)
This is very interesting! I will be following this instead of Top Chef now (I canceled my cable-TV channels and it's between seasons anyway).

ha HA!

BTW, there will also be some sort of power exchange thing with my new guy and me. He does seem to need a domina in his life, has certain fantasies and desires in this area. I'm not interested in being a Dominatrix, but since I am a switch, I can Top sometimes.

Also btw, we are all bisexual/pansexual.

NeonKaos 11-11-2010 02:26 PM

Hey can I come and watch? Or vice-versa?

Magdlyn 11-11-2010 02:35 PM

We'll prolly have our own reality show soon, check your local cable!

Magdlyn 11-12-2010 01:26 AM

Update, my gf had a great date. Liked both of them. Her guy kept touching her and she felt great. Got a goodbye kiss that made her weak in the knees. :)

She said his gf was nice, no problems. She was fine with their discreet PDAs.

So far, so good. Now if I can just chat w my new guy tonight, all will be well.

MonoVCPHG 11-12-2010 02:09 AM


Originally Posted by Magdlyn (Post 52295)
Update, my gf had a great date. Liked both of them. Her guy kept touching her and she felt great. Got a goodbye kiss that made her weak in the knees. :)

She said his gf was nice, no problems. She was fine with their discreet PDAs.

So far, so good. Now if I can just chat w my new guy tonight, all will be well.

Great to hear :)

redpepper 11-12-2010 09:14 PM

oh so exciting! :)

Magdlyn 11-12-2010 10:31 PM

Well my guy was out with friends til 11:30 last night, but we chatted for 5 mins and set up for him to come here noon on Sunday. It's just a bit weird to be in Lowell on a weekend, since Ive spent weekends in Boston for months, close to 2 years. I hope it's worth it. It would be nice if gf could also have a date with M that day. We'll see.

Magdlyn 11-14-2010 01:50 AM

Fuck. Date was supposed to be tomorrow noon. He didnt contact me all day to get my address and make plans. I texted him twice (since he's sub, I thought he might want me to make that move.) Just now, got a text, at 8:30.

"Magdlyn, overwhelmed right now with various commitments, don't think I can make it tomorrow. Let's talk soon."

So, that's that. And earlier this week he told me I was "addictive." Mmhm.

Magdlyn 11-14-2010 05:17 PM

So, I reckon he told me so many deep dark secrets on our date, now he feels too exposed and is uncomfortable. Sigh... I'm too good of a listener, I guess. I'm guessing I'll never hear from him again.

Just have to get vicarious pleasure out of gf's new relationship for now.

gomugirl1656 11-15-2010 01:36 PM


Originally Posted by Magdlyn (Post 52559)
So, I reckon he told me so many deep dark secrets on our date, now he feels too exposed and is uncomfortable. Sigh... I'm too good of a listener, I guess. I'm guessing I'll never hear from him again.

Just have to get vicarious pleasure out of gf's new relationship for now.

Hey Magdlyn it may not be that way at all. He may really have had some stuff come up unexpectedly. Life happens. It may not be personal to you or your relationship give it a little time before you dump the relationship completely. I find that I save myself much squirrel caging if I take the my guys at face value and don't suppose anything extra. I am sorry you were disappointed by his no show but at least he let you know something. If he didn't care about you he wouldn't have answered a text at all. Keep us posted. Good Luck and Have a great day.

Magdlyn 11-16-2010 01:56 PM

Thanks gogumgirl. That's an optimistic view. My gut tells me otherwise, but there's nothing to do but wait.

long vent~

So, normally I spend the weekends with my gf in Boston, but I stayed here in Lowell to see R this past weekend. When he didnt show, it basically fucked up my weekend, socially. Of course then I came down with this bad cold anyway. Just not a good weekend.

Last night I had a long chat with my gf. I am still rather sick, but my son has gone back to his dad's til Dec 4, so I am going to gird my loins, pack up and go to the gf's today.

We're leaving for Florida next Tuesday, the 23rd, to visit my family for Thanksgiving. However, there's a kink/poly/queer conference in Worcester this coming weekend, Transcending Boundaries, which we went to last year, but we've decided we shouldn't go, b/c of leaving for Florida right after the weekend, so monetarily and stress-wise, it just didn't make good sense.

So, I'll go to Boston til the weekend, then come back here and pack for our Florida trip, then come back to Boston Sunday or Monday, and our flight is on Tuesday.

She had told me her new bf, M, and his Lady, are doing an erotic photoshoot with a pro photographer this weekend and had invited her to observe. She told me this a couple weeks ago, when we thought we might be going to the conf. So, last night I said, you might as well go have fun at the photoshoot, since we're skipping the con. She got all excited and told M right away, since she had him in another chat window.

Then she told me the shoot is in Maine and would involve an overnight stay! I had no idea it was in Maine. I thought it was at their house or a rented studio somewhere around Boston. She insisted she told me it was in Maine from the start, I insist she never did.

Then she told me she might also see M this week sometime, while I am staying at her place.

...sigh... I got triggered b/c the last time she had a bf, last year, they had one lunch date, and then a dinner date at his place where she stayed overnight and didn't tell me she did, til I got to her place the next day and she wasn't there.

So. I spent last weekend here, waiting around for a no show. Then I got sick. Meanwhile she's planning a date with M while I am visiting her this week, and also planning a trip to Maine for an erotic photoshoot. I mean, she's being nice about it and all, telling me she loves me, saying she doesn't have to go to Maine if I am not comfortable. But I already told her she could, and I know she'll have a great time.

I'm just feeling sort of pitiful. *cough cough* *headache*

gomugirl1656 11-16-2010 02:51 PM

I am sorry to hear you feel crappy. I hope you get feeling better soon.

Fidelia 11-16-2010 04:48 PM

Rats. Sorry, Magdlyn. :(
Romance can be such a rollercoaster.

Magdlyn 11-17-2010 09:12 PM


Originally Posted by gomugirl1656 (Post 52731)
I am sorry to hear you feel crappy. I hope you get feeling better soon.

Thanks, GG! I think my cold has turned the corner. I am no longer feverish and coughing less, blowing my nose more.


Originally Posted by Fidelia (Post 52740)
Rats. Sorry, Magdlyn. :(
Romance can be such a rollercoaster.

Yes, ma'am, it sure can be.

I went ahead and wrote to R today, just kind of expressing my hurt at him breaking our date with such a vague excuse and "let's chat soon." We'll see if he has the decency and cojones to respond.

So, this photoshoot is actually just part of a fun weekend with old friends that madi's new friend, M and his Lady, LC have planned. So my gf will get to meet several of their best friends, get introduced to the (poly/leather) family, basically. It's a 2 1/2 hr drive to where they are going in Maine. They are leaving in the evening on Friday and won't be back til Sunday night. She asked me to dogsit. I said no. I'm already dealing with her getting to have a fun weekend without me (and probably some intimacy with M), I would feel too used to have to take her dogs back to Lowell with me. I'm not a dog person, and I was looking forward to some peaceful time alone in my apt while she's away and my son is at his dad's.

So, she has to hire a dogsitter and that's that. Boundaries! She'll also need a dogsitter for when we are in Florida, since all her friends are busy with Thanksgiving and aren't available.

There's been no more talk of her seeing M during the week while I am here. She'll have a good full 2 days with him this weekend, that should be enough.

Meanwhile we are cleaning her apt, and having some nice couple time, nothing fancy, just cooking, wine, cuddles, movie watching and talking.

Fidelia 11-18-2010 08:01 PM


Originally Posted by Magdlyn (Post 52934)
. . . Meanwhile we are cleaning her apt, and having some nice couple time, nothing fancy, just cooking, wine, cuddles, movie watching and talking.

Now THAT sounds like a good time! :)

Magdlyn 11-18-2010 09:48 PM

It woudlve been more fun if I didnt have this annoying cold. The Fla sun should bake it out of me next wk. :)

So gf was a very good girl and lined up 2 dogsitters, one for the weekend who is the dog trainer at the Petco a few blocks away, who will come here to her apt and play w the dogs 3 times while gf is away. Then another one who will take them to her own house while we're in Florida. :)

Gf is nervous about her trip, she's quite shy, but I'm sure she'll have a great time. I'm kinda envious, but dealing all right. Envy of her fun weekend, not jealousy about her M. These ppl are apparently kinky scenesters, not our usual cup of tea, so it should be... interesting and educational.

No word from R, so far. But I've given up on him. More fish in the semen as my gf tells me! In fact my sweet boytoy, D, has msged me (after only 16 days since our last date, which is soon for him.) He even asked to maybe sleep over, a first! Yum.

Magdlyn 11-20-2010 01:30 PM

Still with this lingering cold... I had a busy day yesterday. Gf and I drove 20 miles to meet the 2nd dogsitter, and she was awesome. So, we will drop the dogs off there on Monday.

Then in the evening, I decided to drive gf to her M's place, where she was to meet them so they could take the trip to Maine. That way I figured I could meet him and his gf. And I did, and got a very good feeling. They seem warm and intelligent. And just like everyone says (and I exped the last time gf had a bf) they are cute but not examples of model-like perfection. No reason to feel threatened. M, 35, is tall and on the burly side, with a slight sexy Spanish accent (did I mention he grew up in Spain?). His gf is only 27, pretty face, nice skin, natural blonde hair, quite obese, huge breasts, and covered in beautiful tattoos.

I didnt stay long, just about 10 minutes. Found out more about the place they are going to. Asked M to take good care of my girl and he said, "I promise we'll bring her back in one piece, and if we don't, we'll put all the parts in one box." I said, "OK good, so I can sew her back together again." And then I had this mental image:


Then I gave my gf a lovely kiss and we parted.

ETA, she texted me at 2AM to say they'd arrived safely and everything was going great. :)

Magdlyn 11-20-2010 01:41 PM

And my evening. After dropping gf off I had the longish drive back to my place, in rush hour traffic. Stopped off for some food and beers. I was expecting my boytoy D to arrive late, after work. (He works at a Domino's and has since high school, but graduated college last spring and was hired by an investment org, starts that in January.)

So he arrived at 11 and we had our usual over the top amazing sex, and we did some things... well, I won't go into detail, but these 2 things had seemed painful when I attempted them in the past ( I did them more to submit for his pleasure), but this time I made sure he went slow and gradually at first, and used lots of lube, and OMG, I actually really enjoyed them.

Afterward, talking on the couch, he said, "It (the sex) just seems to get better and better, how is that possible?" I said, "It's because we know each other better, our tastes and interests." I am happy to let him continue to think we just have a booty call relationship... but he's gotta be noticing how being together now for 19 months, I really mean something to him.

He also called me "so gorgeous" when we were making "love," awwww.

Unfortunately he couldnt stay over. I was disappointed but he told me, "It will happen." He was so tired from making 95 pizzas an hour and had promised to drive his ne'er-do-well brother who has no license from a DUI, but needs work done on his broken nose ( *rolleyes* ) to a Boston hosp first thing in the morning. D is such a good brother! Maybe too nice.

So we had our usual warm cuddly chat on the couch for a half hour and he left, and I collapsed in bed.

Magdlyn 11-20-2010 01:47 PM

And one more serial post (such a busy day!). When I got home I saw there was a return email from R, who bagged on our date last weekend. Basically he pulled the "busy doctor" card, saying he only has 6 discretionary hours in his week, and he is pulled between dating people like me to act on his personal sexual kinks, and dating apparently vanilla girls who will potentially marry him and breed with him.


Not sure how to respond, or even if I should. He did say, "I am dividing that time between potential lovers such as yourself and potential mates. All it takes is one potential mate to suck up that six hours and make it so that I have absolutely no time for a perfectly lovely person such as you. I crave your companionship actually, and still think you are one of the most open minded and receptive people I have ever met."

I think I will recommend he find a kinky young woman who can fulfill both roles for him. If he pretends to be vanilla, marries a vanilla girl, they have a couple kids, and then she finds out what a perv he is, wow, I'd feel sorry for their kids.

Magdlyn 11-23-2010 12:16 PM

Gf got back from her trip to Maine with M and L on Cloud Nine. There were 5 other people at the house party and everyone accepted her and she felt really comfortable.

She had a couple cuddle sessions with M, just small kisses, nothing real hot and heavy.

There was no kink play on the weekend, mostly the people were geeks and just hung out and talked about sci fi while L was in photo sessions with the hostess.

This group also went to a munch at a local restaurant on Sunday which was attended by about 40 people. She recognized many of them from various kink/queer events (conferences, Pride) we've been to in the past couple years.

So, it was a great self esteem booster for her and I am happy for her. She's been pretty depressed during her transition this year. I've done my ever-lovin' best to support her, but it's hard work, so if she's found some new others to offer support and affirmation, that's great.

However. I am left feeling a few bad things. First of all, envy that she got to go to such a kink and queer positive weekend without me. As I said earlier, I agreed to this before I knew it was a weekend-long event.

Second, and more concerning, the gf/Mistress of her bf turns out to be a celebrity in the East Coast kink scenesters community. She's a semi-pro Domme and event organizer of some repute. All the house party people seemed to take orders from her. At the munch, fans were coming over to her practically bowing and scraping.

And... M introduced my gf to everyone as "their toy." Not his, his and Hers. And here I thought they weren't a package deal. But it's obvious who is the Queen of this power couple. My gf basked in her status as the new "toy" (and possible future slave) of the Queen and her Prince.

So, gf is involved with rockstars now... and I feel like a middle aged housewife frump left behind to sweep her floors, do our dishes, take out her trash and clean her toilet while she primps and travels for dates and events with them.

Sometimes I feel totally lost in the BDSM world. God, I just enjoy giving or getting a nice spanking/flogging now and then, or a little light bondage. This is major league shit. (pony play, play piercings, suspensions, knife play, etc etc)I've never been to a kink play party or dungeon, I don't wear high heels and do not own any leather corsets, latex dresses, or garter belts.

Add to this my own futile search for Mr Right and wonderings whether I've outlived my expiration date to find just the right youthful attentive sexy man to complete my happiness, I am one sad puppy. I could barely sleep the last two nights. And I feel bad to be gloomy and put a damper on my gf's NRE and self-esteem boost.

Partly I am tiring of the short term more or less casual relationships i have found these past 2 years (besides gf). Partly I am wondering if I shouldn't even have a craving for a bf. Maybe that's just a hetero nostalgia from what I once had in marriage to my ex. Just that stupid, "Some day my prince will come..." bs.

Am I greedy? Shouldn't I be content with my gf and my boytoy and just give all the dating and searching a rest? But no! I like socializing and attention!

sigh--- confused

whatamIdoing 11-23-2010 01:06 PM

I'm really new to the site but I've read the whole blog and wanted to say thanks for sharing it and giving me some more things to think about.

I wish you well.

redpepper 11-23-2010 09:35 PM

Magdlyn, you have a very important roll in your gf's life. That of her anchor in reality. She is the "new" toy, and soon enough will be an "old" toy. When that happens, things may not be going as swimmingly for her.

This is her chance to see how these people live and tell you all about it. You get the inside scoop without actually having to spend the money and time and stress of finding out for real... there is something to be said for that....

Most kink and fetish stuff is about pomp and circumstance because that is what we SEE. The real stuff doesn't happen at events. It happens at home and in private. A lot of what she is seeing and being a part of is all an act. Sure, some of it is serious business, but mostly for show.

You are completely worthy of anything you desire. You can fashion anything you want out of this situation with your girlfriend and these new people and the kink they practice and mould it to satisfy that desire... this could be a really amazing learning and deepening opportunity for both of you. The things you could try and make part of your repertoire as a result. You can make it all your own; both for you, and also for your relationship with your girlfriend....

I know the NRE sucks, but hopefully there is a positive spin on it... she loves you dearly, you know that, let her be a little kid in a candy store and when she gets sick off of too much sugar, you are still there to be her "home." That is no small thing. It's much bigger than parties and being a "new toy"

Magdlyn 12-01-2010 12:39 PM

RP thanks for your kind and thoughtful and reassuring reply. I was away w/o computer for a week so havent been able to respond. Sorry to be rude!

After a couple days in Florida, I was able to have a long convo w my gf about this "being a new toy" issue. I felt her out about how she'd deal with public scenes and she told me she's not into that until she knows the people really well. So I dont need to fear she's, like, gonna be tied up and whipped, or have sex with strangers in a large scene, anytime soon. Whew. As far as she is concerned, her new guy is just a new bf and she wants normal private intimacy with him, for at least the first few months (if not years, should it work out that long). She is quite shy. I'd imagine she'd go to scenes if it was offered, but she'd be more into watching than doing.

Meanwhile, taking her to Florida with me to meet family was bonding, as were the romantic walks in tropical gardens, swims, moonlight walks on the golf course, cooking together, etc etc. I feel better now and ready to gird my loins and see how her new relationship progresses.

Magdlyn 12-11-2010 04:19 AM

Time for an update finally.

I left gf in Boston all week to catch up on her things there, and to try and arrange a date w her M. He works downtown and she was hoping to do lunch. Well, that never transpired, instead he finally got the go-ahead from his Lady to have my gf over tomorrow (Sat) for half a day, lunch, activities, dinner. :) At first I was a bit upset b/c weekends are almost always for the 2 of us, but she hasnt seen him in about 3 wks, so it's OK.

This evening I texted my boytoy to see if he was free this weekend. I took my son back to his dad's this aft so I have my apt free. Offering usually never works w boytoy, he almost always initiates. But lo and behold and gosh and begorrah, he said he could consider either tonight after he gets off work, or tomorrow. He was invited to a party at a buddy's tonight.Finally he decided he better go to the party (after we did some fun sexting) but would come tomorrow. :)

Meanwhile this older man on okc has been msging me all week, v eager to meet. I dont think he's a huge match for me, but I finally PMed him he could come tomorrow night and take me out for drinks or dinner. Could just be a nice way to pass the evening. I'll see if he responds positively tomorrow.

So, hopefully keeping happily busy tomorrow while the gf is out w her man.

Boys boys boys.

Magdlyn 12-18-2010 10:10 PM

Gf is out now with her new bf and his gf seeing Tron the Legacy on IMAX. I was invited but declined, as they were going to get there 3 hours early and wait on line. I recently saw the original Tron, and thought it was just OK, but not so exciting I wanted to wait on a line for 3 hours in the cold.

A few days ago gf told me the wait would be inside, so maybe I would've actually had fun getting to talk to M and LC. Oh well, I've got a long trip coming up on Monday and needed to get back to my apartment to take care of some things that needed doing before we go away.

It's weird having weekends free again now and then, since gf started seeing M. We've been in each others' back pockets for close to 2 years and tho I have been dating, I almost always did it during the week or at least on Friday nights so gf and I could be together on the weekend.

Actually, it's kind of nice to have a bit more time to myself. I found myself with time to write out Xmas cards, for example, which I hadn't done in 2 or 3 years (combination of reasons, divorce, ill daughter, NRE with gf, dating). I'm also coming out of my fog of being busily "single" again and have found I now have more interest in current events and other interests of mine that have taken a back seat.

Gf texted me a few times while she was waiting in the theater, which was nice.

bassman 02-03-2012 12:34 PM

I'm enjoying this blog, any updates?

Magdlyn 02-03-2012 02:09 PM

Well, thanks for asking, Music Man!

miss pixi was in a sort of slave relationship with M for about 10 months. But his gf was always up in their grills... Pretty much always around when miss pixi would go over to clean their apartment (kink for her), and the bf never made an effort to arrange alone time for them, they'd just do sex kind of on the sly.

I don't think that couple is truly poly, just scene kinksters. And their communication skills, with each other and with miss pixi, basically sucked. So, she let it all drift away... Still interested in friendship.

So, that ended last November. She's chatted with a few likely prospects online, but is not really motivated to actually meet anyone, rather she is still focusing on being her own primary, personal growth, therapy, reading self help books. Transitioning to living as a woman, after presenting as an effeminate male for 32 years, is tons of work.

Meanwhile, as I've mentioned around the boards, things started an upswing for me, as far as men in my life, late last summer. The Gentleman contacted me in August and we met in October. The Hottie contacted me in November. The Ginger contacted me in December.

I've been running between all 4 lovers, a surfeit of affection and attention. :) Thanking Aphrodite and Asherah last year was just an extended dry spell and there actually are men out there who appreciate me and are worthy of my trust, love and lust.

After several busy months, including my annual trip to see family in FLA just before xmas, a Yule party at miss pixi's, and tons of sex, I finally took this week off, turning down all requests for dates (I've got 3 men on a waiting list as well, it never rains but it pours), for "me time," clothes shopping, a haircut and just chilling at home with my hobbies, plus my parttime nannying job.

Both miss pixi and The Ginger have colds this week. Somehow I do not. miss pixi and I were supposed to go to the Ginger's place tomorrow to see his (solar) house and land (50+ acres), for her to meet him, and both of us to meet his wife, R. Then the 3 of us (not R) were going to go to a drum/dance event.... but maybe The Ginger won't be up for it. Perhaps we'll just go visit him and skip the dancing. He might come with us up to my place that evening tho. He still seems to be horny, as usual! And of course, since I am now rested and recharged, so am I.

Next weekend I am going to the Fetish Flea Fair in RI with miss pixi AND The Gentleman. He booked a suite and is excited for what is a real vacation for him.

I am sensing a lack of emotional commitment from The Hottie. I don't think he's in a place to be a true bf... so after our last (hot) date, I am gonna let him make the next move. It's fine, I really need to concentrate on miss pixi. And I am falling hard for The Ginger... sigh, what a great guy, practically perfect for me. We having sweet interesting chats online twice a day, morning and evening. He speaks warmly of his 3 ex gfs but isn't seeing anyone else right now, besides his wife.

bassman 02-03-2012 02:32 PM

*like* !! :):):):)

Magdlyn 02-07-2012 02:56 PM

meeting the metamours
It went really great.

miss pixi and I got to The Ginger's house around 4:30 on Saturday. Walked around his woods, saw his firepit and the outdoor studio he is building. Then went into his house and got a tour and met his wife, R.

She popped in and out while we got the tour of the amazing underground solar and wood heated house. The Ginger and R designed and built the whole thing themselves back in the 80s, woodwork, electric, everything except the plumbing (which wasnt allowed by code).

So after the tour, miss pixi and Ginger and I sat on his bed and had a glass of wine and then we cooked and ate dinner. R didnt eat the food (not to her taste), but stayed and chatted with us. Then I asked for a demo of Ginger's player piano. His dad used to renovate player pianos, and Ginger had dozens of rolls of music. We took turns pumping the foot pedals, and finally Ginger and I sang a medley of West Side Story songs while miss pixi pumped the pedals. He has a nice strong voice. What a guy... so smitten.

Then a bit more chat. R was nice, cute, friendly, and everyone seemed as relaxed as could be for a first meeting, all 4 "spouses" together.

Then Ginger and miss pixi and I went to the drum circle, held in a UU church in a nearby town. I split my time between dancing around the circle with/near Ginger, and sitting out with miss pixi. (Ginger is such a good dancer... sigh...) Interesting challenge, to be on a date with 2 at once, new for me. It was sexy and fun, altho we all refrained from overt PDAs... I really felt like a nice triad/V. The room was lit by the candles in the center of the circle, it was a good sized crowd, about 40 people. We did some hugging and cuddling now and then, in couples or all 3.

After that ended at 11, Ginger drove us back to his place, miss pixi and I got back in my van and he followed us to Boston. He and I had sex while miss pixi rambled around making herself a sandwich and so on before she went to bed. Ginger and I slept on the pull out couch in the living room.

After our sex was over, I got up and cuddled miss pixi to make sure she was OK. She was fine. She said we were surprisingly quiet. heh

Next morning Ginger and I had more sex, then made us all pancakes and then he and I showered (mmmm) and then he and I walked the dogs along the Charles River. miss pixi didnt want to come.

After that, he left around 1pm.

Anyway, with all the stressful convos here on the board about first meeting of metamours, our meetup went great... everyone meeting at once! Yesterday I asked Ginger how R said she felt about meeting us and he said, she didnt say, but she did hang out with us more than when he's had previous gfs over, so I guess that is a good thing. :)

Magdlyn 02-19-2012 07:15 PM

Last weekend, miss pixi and The Gentleman and I went to the Fetish Flea Fair. Gentleman paid for a big suite in the hotel for us. We had a great time, sharing a bed and time at the Flea.

Nice to be out in that community, as a V.

Then I saw the Ginger at my place on Tuesday night into Wednesday. This weekend miss pixi understandably wanted me to herself, after 2 weekends with the metamours. We went to Northampton yesterday (known as a very liberal gay friendly town), walked around the greenhouses and botanical gardens at Smith College, had dinner at a brew pub, lots of walking around cool stores, a little shopping. It was romantic.

While we were waiting for our food to arrive, The Hottie texted me to say he has decided to be mono with his other gf. So, that's that. I hadnt seen him in a month. We'd only had 4 dates. Just as well, I am plenty busy enough with my 2 guys and my woman. I wished him well. He's never been great at communicating between dates, so breaking up by text was typical for him.

Magdlyn 02-21-2012 01:42 PM

After a lovely 5 days with miss pixi, today The Ginger is coming into town and we will go to the Harvard Natural History Museum. Then we will drive back to my place in Lowell and he will spend the night. Mmmm... he's so much fun to walk around museums with, he makes such interesting comments. And then, of course, the SEX. Excellent warm sensuous sex.

I'm not nannying for the twins and their big sister this week, so I will have time to myself on Wednesday after Ginger leaves, and then on Thursday as well. I've got plans to have my son spend the night on Thursday. I am babysitting for a new family on Friday morning for 4 hours, my La Leche League co-Leader's little 3 year old son. Just sitting for one kid should feel restful after a year of watching baby twins and a 5 year old.

Later on Friday, back to Boston. miss pixi and I are invited to a birthday party at an old Boston restaurant downtown. On Sunday I plan to see the Gentleman at his place.

Sometimes I'm so happy I could just cry.

nycindie 02-21-2012 01:57 PM


Originally Posted by Magdlyn (Post 126049)
Sometimes I'm so happy I could just cry.

Awwww, I'm so happy for you, hun.

Magdlyn 02-21-2012 02:27 PM

Thanks Cindie. So many people struggling on this board... it makes poly seem horrible and fraught with difficulties. The happy people don't post enough! I feel so fulfilled.

evrchanging 02-28-2012 04:39 PM


Originally Posted by Magdlyn (Post 126049)
After a lovely 5 days with miss pixi, today The Ginger is coming into town and we will go to the Harvard Natural History Museum. Then we will drive back to my place in Lowell and he will spend the night. Mmmm... he's so much fun to walk around museums with, he makes such interesting comments. And then, of course, the SEX. Excellent warm sensuous sex.

I'm not nannying for the twins and their big sister this week, so I will have time to myself on Wednesday after Ginger leaves, and then on Thursday as well. I've got plans to have my son spend the night on Thursday. I am babysitting for a new family on Friday morning for 4 hours, my La Leche League co-Leader's little 3 year old son. Just sitting for one kid should feel restful after a year of watching baby twins and a 5 year old.

Later on Friday, back to Boston. miss pixi and I are invited to a birthday party at an old Boston restaurant downtown. On Sunday I plan to see the Gentleman at his place.

Sometimes I'm so happy I could just cry.

I found your blog! I am so happy that things are working out for you. Nothing like warm sensuous sex and lots of fun.

Magdlyn 03-04-2012 03:02 PM

This week, miss pixi didnt need to stay at her place in Boston, so she came to Lowell with me. I had told her I was a bit sad to have been spending 4 days a week at her place and only 3 at mine. So, we packed up all her stuff and her dogs and she came here.

She's designing a website for a friend's business and also working on her new blog, so I've had lots of "me time" while she's been working, plus the benefits of cuddles and companionship when she take time off from working.

Ginger was supposed to come over on Tuesday but came down with a stomach bug. Then we had a 30 hour snow storm. So, he finally got here on Friday night. We socialized with miss pixi for a bit, then she went to my bedroom to continue working and Ginger and I had our hot private time. Little did I know, he owns a pair of black leather pants, and wore them for my pleasure. Black t-shirt and flowy black dress shirt over that. Fucking HOT. Damn.

After a couple hours of playtime in the guest room, we got dressed in comfy clothes and went into the living room. I set out cheese and crackers and strawberries poured Chardonnay, and miss pixi came in and we watched one of my favorite movies, Across the Universe, all 3 cuddled on the couch. Still getting used to the luxury of cuddling 2 lovers at once. Pretty amazing. Beatles, snacks and my 2 loves... both artistic, both gorgeous, both funny, intelligent and sexy. Both fit, firm, lean, auburn haired, lightly freckled beauties. Both for ME.

Ginger spent the night. I slept with him in the guest bed. Too bad I don't have a big king sized bed for 3 to share snuggles all night...

Magdlyn 04-25-2012 12:23 PM

I haven't posted here in a while... things are just going along swimmingly. I fall more in love with The Ginger every day (we've now been seeing each other for over 4 months). He's perfect for me, and so is miss pixi. They both enrich my life so much, in their own unique ways.

I am finding my feelings cooling some for The Gentleman (we've been seeing each other 7 months). He's got issues-- has plans, lots of plans, but procrastinates and then whines about how terrible his life is. I am disappointed. He's definitely a good hearted guy, smart, generous, and fun to talk to, but his lack of motivation frustrates me. We had a tough awkward talk about it the other day. Not sure where this is going to go...

He is something of a hoarder and his apartment was a mess the first time I went over there. I helped him reorganize some, and he said he was going to continue to work on decluttering and cleaning, painting, buying new kitchen appliances, light fixtures, a nicer couch, a new TV, but he never does anything until the day before I come over! He seems to do one project every week or two, to please me, and doesn't work on things on a regular basis, for HIMSELF.

But anyway, as far as poly arrangements go, I've got a good schedule worked out. I spend a long weekend with miss pixi, usually Friday evening til early Tuesday afternoon. Usually see The Ginger on Wednesday into Thursday. 2-3 times a month I go see The Gentleman in the midst of my Boston visit with miss pixi, for an evening date.

Otherwise, I've got my alimony from my ex, a part time job nannying, volunteer work with La Leche League, and plenty of hobbies and interests to keep me busy when I am not with a lover or other friends or family!

nycindie 04-25-2012 06:18 PM


Originally Posted by Magdlyn (Post 133841)
...as far as poly arrangements go, I've got a good schedule worked out. I spend a long weekend with miss pixi, usually Friday evening til early Tuesday afternoon. Usually see The Ginger on Wednesday into Thursday. 2-3 times a month I go see The Gentleman in the midst of my Boston visit with miss pixi, for an evening date.

Otherwise, I've got my alimony from my ex, a part time job nannying, volunteer work with La Leche League, and plenty of hobbies and interests to keep me busy when I am not with a lover or other friends or family!

It sounds great, Mags! So organized! :D Four months with The Ginger already - wow!

Magdlyn 04-26-2012 03:07 AM

Almost 5! He's so sweet. He chats me every morning before he gets out of bed. Then on and off throughout the day... Then when we meet-- fireworks! and cozy cuddly times too. Sometimes he brings his guitar and sings for me.

Magdlyn 05-04-2012 12:54 PM

Had another lovely mid week date with The Ginger Weds into Thursday. We didn't get to see each other the previous week because he was working on a door frame for the studio he is building and it fell on him, on his head, leaving a big lump, and on his ankle, badly bruising that. Luckily, no concussion, no broken bones!

So, this week he was much recovered and we had a fantastic 24 hours together. We were both pent up from lack of sex/kink, and we sure made up for lost time! Whew, he is so hot. Both of us have really high sex drives, so I am assured it's not just NRE sex.

His wife's sex drive is sporadic and apparently she isn't as creative/kinky as me. How cool we are poly and can all provide various kinds of love in our own ways.

Also Ginger is still helping me empty my storage unit. It's 3/4 empty and most of the stuff in there belongs to my ex, so he and I are going to meet tomorrow morning to take a few things to the swap place at his town dump.

miss pixi is working a lot and doesn't manage sex as often as I'd like. Most people would be satisfied with what she provides but... (see above). Otherwise things are fine with her, she's doing great and we have lots in common and lots of fun and lovey times.

I almost broke up with The Gentleman the other night. He's just not the man I thought he was... he is acting so dark and depressed and anxious these days. I can only give so much support, and then it's like, "Dude, God helps those who help themselves. I will support and nurture you, but I refused to coddle you." I couldn't make myself say the actual breakup words. I realize I haven't actually broken up with someone since I was a teenager. All the guys I've dated since being single have just sort of faded away when the relationship had run its course. I've been dumped a few times too.... but never actually dumped someone! But I did tell him about my current reservations and I think he got the picture. :rolleyes:

I haven't been going to OKC in months, and now, with "only" 2 lovers, I am still not motivated to do so. My 2 sweeties and the rest of my life keep me busy, contented, inspired, entertained, loved and sexed-up enough as it is.

BlackUnicorn 05-04-2012 02:49 PM


Originally Posted by Magdlyn (Post 133841)
But anyway, as far as poly arrangements go, I've got a good schedule worked out. I spend a long weekend with miss pixi, usually Friday evening til early Tuesday afternoon. Usually see The Ginger on Wednesday into Thursday. 2-3 times a month I go see The Gentleman in the midst of my Boston visit with miss pixi, for an evening date.

Otherwise, I've got my alimony from my ex, a part time job nannying, volunteer work with La Leche League, and plenty of hobbies and interests to keep me busy when I am not with a lover or other friends or family!

Oh my, isn't there like pretty standard seven days to each week? Which dimension do you squeeze your activities in?!? :D

No, actually, just happy to read about other happy busy bees.

Magdlyn 05-26-2012 11:49 PM

Checking back in again. Unlike Baggage Patrol, it seems the happier I am, the less I have need to post about it! (love your blog, BP)

So, backing up a bit, the Gentleman got the idea and said the breakup words himself. He was very sad and hurt, but I just found him reminding me of my ex-husband too much, and after 30+ years of that, I sure didn't need that stress again. So, much relief that is over.

I continue to see Ginger once a week, for 24 hours usually. We walk in nature, we go to a museum when it's rainy, and we stay in and fuck like kinky bunnies for hours on end. We usually have sex 4 or 5 times in less than 24 hours. This latest visit, he came over at 3, we had sex til 4:30. (I got an amazing flogging, alternating with having my pussy sucked, and he was so excited by doing it, once it had gone on long enough I have never seen a man put on a condom so fast!)

Then we got dressed and sat on my balcony while I had a cigarette. He wore linen pants and a loose button down shirt... sigh. Looking so good, so rangy, wavy ringlets cascading on his head, salt and cayenne goatee, blonde eyebrows... His personality is just so chill and generous, quiet good humor, quick wit, completely gender queer and pansexual. But still so manly! How does he do it?

Then we went to the grocery store together, and I could hardly keep my eyes off him. In that mundane setting he looked more handsome and desirable than ever, staring at cheese or whatever, head and shoulders towering over most of the shoppers there. It's still a thrill to be out with a man my age, to be perceived as straight after 3 years with tiny young miss pixi, who appears to many to be my daughter, if they don't know better.

Then back to my apartment for food, conversation in the nude. We both had TV to watch that night, basketball playoffs for him, American Idol finale for me, but we both enjoy each so planned to switch channels a lot.

We had more passionate playtime then, to get it out of the way before our shows. Otherwise I knew we'd miss most of the action on TV (happened the previous week, when Ginger and miss pixi were both here and we had a 3some, but more on that later).

So, game shows on, and Ginger kept feeling me up, as he always does. He's a sculptor and keeps modeling my body all the time, though he says he can't model it into anything better because he wouldn't change a thing. During halftime, more actual sex ensued. I didnt mind in the least missing some of Idol, it paled in comparison.

Then back to our shows once again. After Idol ended (my favorite won!), Ginger kept fingering me while his game wore on. He was so tired (he usually goes to bed early) but couldnt seem to stop touching me. I wasn't complaining.

He hopped in bed as soon as his game ended, I wasn't quite ready for sleep. In fact, I was so enthralled by our amazing day and evening, I had to pleasure myself one more time just to calm down.

The next morning, I awoke to see him gazing at me. Quickly sex began again, soft and gentle for a few minutes but quickly becoming hard, passionate, scratching, biting, hickey giving, cacades of orgasms for me, bed wetting and finally a climax for him.

Then we got up for our lazy chat and the ritual pancakes he always makes for us. An extra juicy orange shared. Blues playing in the background. Then he said he wanted a shower. And of course, we messed around wet and slippery and more orgasms for both of us. He left just after 8 as it was a lovely day and he is very involved in building himself a studio/cabin on his land behind his solar house. His college age sons are home for the summer and he adores his private retreat. It's really coming along well. Very high ceilings and a loft bed 6 1/2 feet up so he can walk under it without bumping his head.

And now, a break from seeing each other for another week, tho we chat online multiple times a day. He needs his alone time. I like some solitude as well. I had miss pixi here for 2 weeks previous to this one, and she brings her 2 rambunctious dogs, and I like a break from them, not from her!

Oh! I forgot to mention, though I have occasionally been telling him I love him since 2 months into our relationship, he finally told me the same just after our first lovemaking session this time. God, to finally hear those 3 little words. Cherry on the sundae. He's been calling me "love" in chat and in person, and saying things in chat like, "I feel very lovey towards you right now," or, "Wrapping you up in my love," but it was so sweet to have him finally (after 5 1/2 mos of relationship) actually say it right out.

Magdlyn 05-27-2012 12:19 AM

The week previous to this one, as I mentioned, I was going to have the delicious problem of having both my lovers in my apartment at once. Last time all 3 of us were together, we all cuddled on the couch watching a movie, and I felt so surrounded by their sex and warm feelings, but we kept things chill. Ginger supported my upper body and my legs were draped over miss pixi's lap. As soon as the movie was over, I turned to Ginger and started making out with him. miss pixi politely retreated to my bedroom. After that, Ginger and I had our session in bed, he passed out and I came back out to connect sexually with my gf.

Now that the ice had been broken, those 2 have met twice, and have been chatting on facebook together on a regular basis, and I've gotten to know Ginger so well, my feelings had been leading me to share sex with them simultaneously. I had fears around it, as I've had 3somes in the past, with miss pixi and with others as a teenager, and it's always had bad emotional repercussions. ( Not for miss p and me, but odd painful things happened afterwards with other partners.)

So, after talking it over with both of them in chat in much detail, I decided I was ready to take the plunge. Going from a V to a possible triad? Or having 2 lovers who are friends, and maybe this 3some playtime will only happen occasionally when the stars are aligned... They have both always been attracted to each other, but held back, as they needed to get to know each other better before anything more developed.

So, miss pixi was here, Ginger came over. We talked first, then Ginger and I went to a local museum. Came home, we all had food, miss pixi was working on her websites in my bedroom. When Idol was about to start, we called her in and we all cuddled up on the couch, me in the middle. Ginger felt me up and kissed me as usual, as we attempted to focus on Idol. I was in a light nightgown, retro nylon, and it was riding up as he stroked me. miss pixi would lean in and kiss me from time to time. Once again, my upper body was on Ginger and my legs on her lap. Her hand crept up my thighs...

Now and then I would see them exchange a smile across me, and finally Ginger started stroking her arm behind my body. They both wore loose cotton summer clothing. Finally, I turned and kissed miss pixi, then kissed Ginger and then moved my head back and they leaned over and kissed each other.

It was so hot. So right. Their kissing became more passionate. Both of their mouths descended on my breasts. Much touching, passion. Finally I manouvered out from between them on the couch, sat on the other side of the Ginger and encouraged play between them. Ginger's first experience with a transwoman! miss pixi's first encounter with a man since her last relationship ended last fall! Full contact ensued, and it was all so sweet and dark, like cayenne chocolate.

Now, I thought that was just great. After it ended, I got up to pee, then Ginger insisted it sit between them again for afterglow cuddles and chat. After a while, Ginger had to go pass out, I stayed with miss pixi, who finished me off (since I was kind of the cheerleader for them after a while and needed an orgasm or 3). After that, I went to bed with Ginger. We had our usual intense morning sex the next day. He was aroused by the previous night's encounter and shared his feelings around that, in word and deed.

miss pixi slept in until after Ginger left. Our goodbye kisses and embraces were longer than usual, him being so thrilled at how the 3way date had gone. I reserved my feelings as I didn't know what they were quite yet!

So... now I get to deal with the emotions of it all. Ginger, being the sweet caring friendly guy he is, has been chatting miss pixi even more often online, flirting casually, taking an interest in her life. It made me a little nervous at first. Are we a triad? Is her now her bf too? No. W've all been talking it over. He is mine, she is mine, they are friends, and sometimes we will all share sexual intimacy. That seems to be the conclusion we have all come to. I feel great love and trust for both of them, and I am proud of myself for facing my fears around 3somes and triads with 2 such wonderful people.

Magdlyn 05-31-2012 04:44 PM

Just spent 4 days with miss pixi and it was a wonderful time. She let go of a lot of her stresses while I was at her place, since she tends to obsess around them, though goodness knows, making her gender transition is like a full time job, socially, medically, even politically.

She was the sexual initiator 4 times. Just like the good old days! It was such a pleasure and relief, as she tends to get too anxious to just enjoy connecting that way. We also went on a romantic thrift store road trip down Providence RI way and had tons of fun shopping for bargains on clothing and vintage housewares. It's a hobby we enjoy sharing so much. Plus she cooked us various incredible meals, including hands down the best fish chowder I have ever had in my life.

In chat, Ginger invited me to come to spend the night at his new cabin/studio. I'd seen it twice before in stages of completion, but he deemed it ready for a guest. I got to his place at 8PM, light still lingering in the early summer sky, and had a shower in his outdoor shower he installs every summer. Both the shower and his cabin are on a rise behind his main house, with 2 sets of stone steps he's built leading up to it amidst maples, oaks and wisteria over the garage.

He showed me around the place, loft bed, kitchen, work areas and even a clever toilet he'd built, hidden in one corner behind a sheet.

Then we retired to the loft where he had Indian chant music playing. Playtime ensued, but wouldn't you know, after about 15 minutes, his back started hurting really bad. Work on the cabin and one of the sets of stone stairs earlier in the week had caught up with him. Darn guy, he has the ideas and enthusiasm of a 30 year old but really is 59 and he just needs to pace himself!

So we decided to just go to sleep, just before 10, and slept well until 5:30. He is an early bird like me. However his back was still quite bad and he couldn't even concentrate on conversation, much less s.e.x. So I went ahead and left by 6:15, grabbing a coffee in his town before driving northward and home. I hope he takes it real easy and recovers soon!

Magdlyn 06-02-2012 05:44 PM

OK, one of the things I love about this man is how chill and calm he is. I'd been feeling disappointed about our shortened last visit and we talked about it in chat. Even before his back gave out, he was seeming kind of shy, and he explained that while he wanted me to come see his studio, he was feeling it wasn't quite perfect enough to show off to a guest, at the same time.

And he felt that was kind of stupid and perfectionistic of himself, but there you are. I love how self aware he is!

Came back to miss pixi's last night after a couple days of work and volunteering at home. We had a great night, cuddles, conversation, good food, a 1973 David Bowie/Ziggy Stardust concert on VH1, and then... great kinky play and SEX. Yay! Going out thrifting shortly today.

Also last night, miss p told me she has more compersion for me and Ginger than she's had with any guy I've dated in the past. I think it helps she and he are becoming good friends. She said every time I tell her Ginger and I flirt, or meet and have good times and great sex, she feels all warm and fuzzy inside. :) I've rarely seen her jealous of anyone, but this is a whole new level of "family" feeling.

Magdlyn 06-08-2012 10:50 AM

So odd. Despite how my life has been since my split with my husband, loving miss pixi, and yet dating others a lot, ever since Ginger came into my life I've had next to no feelings for any other guy. I abruptly stopped going to OKC as soon as it became apparent Ginger liked me a lot and we fell into a lovely habit of a once a week sleepover date.

Even after my breakup with The Gentleman, I realized I don't have time or interest in seeing others. I feel so fulfilled with the different yet similar things miss pixi and Ginger bring to my life, and what I bring to theirs. Deep enduring love and attraction for miss p, growing love and understanding and that certain "manly" support from big tall calm Ginger.

But, a couple weeks ago, I got a message in my email that someone on OKC had rated me 4 or 5 stars. I'd had no messages from anyone on OKC in months, since I was never over there, so I went to see who'd rated me.

When I came on, he started chatting me. Some late 20something, seemed ok, said he wanted to cook for me, date me, but I still got the feeling he was only saying that to get into my pants.

While he and I were chatting, 2 more guys popped up wanting to chat, wanting to have sex, yada yada. It was easy to determine they just wanted a summer fling with an experienced older woman.

After I finally rid myself of all of them and signed off, I got 3 PMs from 3 further different men! Jeez. And since then, I've gotten on average, a PM from one more guy each day...

Anyway, one of these men that PMed me seemed pretty cool. His profile was charming, witty, alternative, insightful, endearing. 94% match. He is married, 29, and he and his wife were just moving from Texas to my city and he wanted to meet and make friends with locals. I wrote back saying it would be fine to meet sometime. It seemed from his Q&As that he had tried being poly, but maybe it didn't work out so well and he was just reaching out for friends.

So, a couple weeks later, his move complete, he messaged me asking me out. I suggested a couple local brew pubs and restaurants, but he asked if we could go to this certain dowtown pub (I looked up its website and it has live entertainment, pool, bowling, darts... etc). I said on Wednesday, sure, let's meet there, what time are you thinking? (this date was supposed to be tonight, Friday.)

Well, almost 24 hours went by and he didnt respond with a time he wanted to meet. I'd suggested "happy hour," meaning 4 or 5:00.

So yesterday around 4, I messaged him with the truth. I'd just realized it was Pride weekend in Boston, and I wanted to get to Boston in time to make the parade early on Saturday, so why didnt he take his nice wife to the nice pub and he and I could meet some other time?

Finally around 9 last night (Thurs) he messaged me apologizing profusely, saying "we" (he and his wife I am assuming) had spent the day in Salem, loving its beauty as compared to Texas, and was very sorry he hadn't gotten back to me with a time to meet.

But sigh... I still feel so fulfilled with Ginger and miss p, do I even want to make the effort to fit him in, in between time spent with them, time at my job, my housework, my hobbies and volunteer work? I got so tired of first dates back in my OKC dating days. Boy, is it nice to not have to tell someone new my life story every couple of weeks!

Magdlyn 06-08-2012 11:31 AM

So! All my ramblings about seeing other men aside, I had yet another spectacular date with Ginger Wednesday afternoon into Thursday morning. He came to my place at 3 (actually he was 10 mins early [awww! so eager!], but I was ready for him).

We'd discussed some kinky activities to try in chat during the week. However when he got here, he was just all over me in his usual enthusiastic way. I mentioned doing one of the activities, and he said, "I'm just so happy to be with you!" and attacked me passionately and it was delicious. (He was sorry about the shortened date the previous week, him being shy about sharing his work in progress studio with me, and then his back giving out. He made up for lost time. Mmmm...)

After an hour of that, we got dressed and sat out on the balcony with glasses of wine. He rarely drinks as he doesn't hold liquor well, so it was sweet of him to join me in that. Then I cooked us dinner while he played his guitar and sang on the couch. I just love that! Love hearing him, looking over at his long lanky self, so attractive, lost in the songs. Singing loudly without reserve, telling me this or that tidbit about the song and the person who wrote it, etc. We ate and chatted, he played a couple more songs after dinner... and then I initiated the kinky play I'd been planning.

He responded extremely satisfactorily to my ideas. He had told me he is a more "go with the flow" kind of guy, but likes when I come up with fun ideas. So that was all very awesome and sexy to the max.

Then we drove to the river park and took a nice one hour walk at sunset. When we got home, he was tired and went to bed, and I stayed up an extra hour and a half chatting with miss pixi online. What a sweetie.

In the morning, at my request, Ginger installed this mission style chandelier I'd recently retrieved from storage (it used to hang in my dining room at the house I shared with my ex). I just stood there and held the flashlight or handed him tools. He loves projects, and the light looks so good hanging over my table now! I missed it.

I've also given him 2 mission style antique chairs (a Morris recliner chair and a rocker) which needed work. He's repaired them already and has them installed in his studio. Awww! I don't have room for them here, and miss pixi said she bets he loves having those pieces of me in his space. He's sent me pix of how they look. He's so good at woodworking and it's awesome he fixed them both so quickly and well, carving a new rocker for the rocking chair, rewebbing the seat of the recliner (my ex-h was so bad at household projects, a procractinator and also passive aggressive in everything he did, so it's such a contrast!).

Meanwhile, it's so funny and cool that Ginger and miss p chat online almost every day. Tuesday night I worked and didnt come online when I got home right away as I had a few chores to do, and dinner to eat, first. Apparently miss p and Ginger were chatting then and wondering where I was. hehe Talking about me behind my back!

Both of them have expressed to me how much they like each other. And they do have fond memories of the 3way sex... might be time to plan another time for all 3 of us to be together again soon. Uncharted territory! It makes me a little nervous, but I trust them both so much. Mostly I am loving having this nice family feeling between the 3 of us. Helping each other with household projects, supporting each other with family and personal issues, sharing interests, no judgment, no bitching, just consideration, and shall I say, mature love and respect.

No wonder I have little interest in adding any other love interests in my life right now. I already feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

opalescent 06-08-2012 01:59 PM

Sounds like you are 'polysaturated' in the most awesome way. :D

Magdlyn 06-26-2012 12:49 PM

Sooo... I ended up having a date with that 29 yr old Texan. Last Thursday we went shopping together, a thrift store, and the local big hippie/headshop. Then we had drinks at the Barnes and Nobles cafe.

It was all just friendly and nice. I enjoyed being his tour guide, his east coast fairy, showing him the local sights. He was chatty and friendly, open, interesting. We had some nice chat over drinks about our takes on being genderqueer and poly, our approaches and experiences in those areas.

He has no Texas accent, but I'll call him Tex as a nickname.

There were no sexual sparks at all. No lingering glances, no flirting. That was perfectly fine with me as I am satisfied with my 2 current relationships. Tex and his wife broke up with a shared gf just before their move... he's probably still missing her. Plus his focus just seemed to be on getting to know the landscape and much different culture of Mass as compared to Texas. Huge change!

We spent 3 nice hours together and I said he and his wife, E, should come by for dinner sometime. I should go say hi on OKC and see how he's doing.

In more important news, my evolving relationship, V>triad, with miss pixi and Ginger continues to unfold. We had a shared date last Friday. Ginger got passes to the Gardner Museum from the library, so we could each get in for $5, and not the full price of $15 each. miss p and I were together at my place, since it was very hot and I'm the one with AC. Ginger drove up to my city (we shagged in the living room and guest rm while miss p was primping in the master bath and bedroom...mmm...), and then I drove us all down to Boston. Ginger adores museums and had never been to this one, and miss p had only been once (on our first date over 3 years ago!). I've been there 6 or 8 times so acted as tour guide.

Then we drove home. miss p fell asleep in the backseat. It was rush hour and traffic was slow. I got bored so reached over and started fondling Ginger and he reciprocated. New exp for me... tho I've been on the other end a lot!


Magdlyn 06-26-2012 01:06 PM

When we got home I needed to run to the grocery store, so I dropped them both off at my building and did my shopping. I had images in my head of arriving home to see them making out on the couch... but no.

Ginger had gotten sleepy too and laid down on the guest bed for a power nap. miss p had gotten to work on her website. So, we had dinner and, probably to Ginger's disappointment, she felt on a roll with her work and went back to the master bedroom to continue.

So, Ginger and I spent a good hour talking about the museum. He was wiki-ing it and learning its history and about some of the artwork there. It was cute to see him geeking out over it.

Then we got down to some super hot sex. He has told me since, he was hoping miss p would come in and join us, but she never did. After a couple hours of that, I was really tired. It was only 9:30, Ginger's usual bedtime, but not mine. However, I was too tired to stay up. Ginger went into the master bedroom, naked but modestly holding a tshirt in front of his package, to kiss miss p goodnight. heh

We went to sleep, but I woke up an hour later, needing to pee. Then I realized I was hungry, so went out, ate and played on my laptop for an hour before I was ready to go back to bed. I went and laid down with Ginger and had a good night's sleep.

He and I both got up at 5:30, talked, had a little more sex, breakfast. By 8:30 he was ready to go home and work on his projects. miss p was still sleeping but he went in and kissed her goodbye.

So, since then, he's expressed to me and to her he'd been disappointed in not getting more of her "kisses" ;) . miss p is perfectly comfortable, experienced in triad situations. Ginger is open to it as well, eager, not pushing, but fearless and sensitive to my concerns, her sexual desire or lack thereof. He is seeing he has to be patient with her fluctuating sexual drives, as I have learned to be... He is in no rush.

The oddest part, for me, is knowing they chat and sometimes tell each other stuff I don't know about, so I feel a little left out of the loop. But we always seem to catch up and all get on the same page. It sure is interesting! I feel like I am really pushing the edge of my comfort zone. But it seems healthy, the challenge is fun, I feel nurtured and respected.

CherryBlossomGirl 07-24-2012 01:12 AM

...... more?
So curious as to how things are going for you, thinking of you and your lovely partners and hoping all is well in your world!

Magdlyn 07-29-2012 11:15 AM

Hey BP, I posted about our (rather awkward) attempts at 3way sex in another thread. Look up my recent posts to see.

miss pixi and I were on vacation in upstate NY for a week, just got back last night. We had a wonderful exciting enjoyable time. We were cut off from internet except for her Smartphone, but I texted with Ginger daily and got much love and well wishes from him as he enjoyed our vacation vicariously. miss p and he also texted pretty much every day. I can't wait til my schedule allows me to see, hold, kiss, talk to and screw the living daylights out of Ginger again! :p

Magdlyn 07-31-2012 11:59 AM

miss p and I spent a week in upstate NY. miss pixi has gone to the Grassroots Music Fest every year since 1991, since she grew up in Watkin's Glen. It's my 4th time going with her. Last 2 years we took my son, but he didnt want to go this year, instead agreed to watch miss p's dogs at my apartment-- what a sweetie!

I came down with bronchitis on the Monday of the week we were supposed to leave. What a bummer! I laid in bed, popping vitamin C, drinking Dayquil like Coke, and downing lots of fluids for 2 days, fevered, fatigued and coughing my head off.

So, instead of leaving on Wednesday, we left Friday. It's a 9 hour drive (6 hrs+ breaks) and we got to our motel 11pm that night. We got to the fest at 2pm the next day. I was kind of weak and felt a bit detached, but we managed to see some bands, and did lots of socializing with our group of friends that camp on the fairground, about 15 of them we are close with. I had to take a couple naps in one of their tents to survive, but I did it!

Luckily one of the girls threw a lovely party on Monday as well, and I was feeling much more human by then.

Much of the rest of the week was spent driving to many antique stores, collecting vintage Pyrex and a few other things we collect. That was super fun. Wednesday was miss pixi's birthday and we went wine tasting, mmmm, and had a boat cruise on Lake Seneca at 7pm, followed by a nice dinner at a restaurant with a spectacular view of the lake.

Thursday we hiked around in the mountains, the Devil's Cauldron at Watkin's Glen State Park, and the Glen River Gorge. So beautiful and peaceful. Just amazing. miss p was so lucky to grow up in that beautiful region and she misses it a lot.

Friday after antiquing we rather trepidatiously visited miss pixi's family, her conservative insular parents and brother. She came out to them as trans in a letter earlier this year, so they had had time to digest it. This was their first time seeing her in full female mode. Surprisingly it went really well. Her gender was not discussed, they spoke of ordinary things, they did call her "he" and by her former name out of habit, which felt odd, but there was little tension and miss p was extremely proud and relieved. We even all went out for fish fry, parents, her brother, his wife and their little 6 year old girl. The niece at first wondered where her "dad's brother" had gone... but miss p explained it, and niece was calling her "her" all night. Kids are so adaptable.

Then Saturday we drove home, in time to cook a big birthday dinner for my son, who turned 21 that day. We had a big jug of wine we'd brought back from a winery too. Sunday we went to Boston and took my son out for his first drink in public. We met my ex-h (his dad, we get along ok) at our favorite pub/restaurant in Allston, the Sunset, which has 100 beers on tap and 300 in bottles. Fun to watch the boy get carded and proudly hand over his license for the first time.

Yesterday (Monday) after taking miss p to her therapy and grocery shopping, I finally came back home alone, to rest up, do laundry, vacuum dog hair, etc. Ginger is coming over at 6 and I can't wait! I haven't seen him in 2 weeks! Feels like forever. He's been iming with me and he's super horny. hehe. Yay!

nycindie 07-31-2012 05:08 PM

I have visited the Finger Lakes for their yearly Wine Festival (with my ex). I can't recall if we went once or twice, but I love it there, and want to go back sometime to Seneca Lake and the state park with the Gorge. The Corning Glass Museum is great, too!

Have a fun, sexy time with the Ginger tonight!

Magdlyn 07-31-2012 06:37 PM

Oh yes, we went to the Corning Glass Museum as well. One of our friends actually works there and comped us in, saving us $15 each. We spent 2 hours there, only saw about 1/3 of it. We will have to go back again the next 2 years to finally see all of it! I especially loved the Roman glass and the Art Nouveau pieces. Just lovely, amazing, stunning beauty.

Magdlyn 08-08-2012 11:24 AM

Monday was my birthday. I had miss p here at my place. We needed to drive to Boston for her therapy, then came back and ran some errands locally. Ended up at a Japanese restaurant to order some sushi takeout for my birthday dinner. We sat at the bar and had 2 mai tais each. I even chatted with the handsome silver fox patron on my other side for a bit. heh

On the way home, I dropped her at the grocery store across the street from my place, per her request. Then I went and got some sake at the liquor store.

At 7 she and Ginger arrived here simultaneously. They both had flowers for me, cut flowers from the store from miss p, and some wildflowers from Ginger that he'd picked on his land. I arranged them all together in a big vintage vase.

Ginger had another gift for me, one of his small sculptures. Squee! A bit later I found a miniature rose bush out on my balcony that miss p had also gotten and put out there.

So, then after chatting a bit, we got naked and I arranged the sushi on miss p's body and had a sensuous feast. I fed her too, and Ginger took pix of it all. He doesnt eat sushi. But I think he had fun watching. Once we'd eaten our fill, it turned to a 3way sex orgy and it all went great this time. :)

Magdlyn 08-08-2012 12:04 PM

They ended up flogging me (my birthday spanks!) simultaneously, miss pixi on my back and Ginger on my ass. Wow, it was good, intense. I was in delicious subspace for an hour afterward. When I was able to move, I went to play a certain song on youtube. When I turned on my laptop, I saw I had an IM from my old boytoy D! As some of you might remember, he dumped me back in Jan 2011 with no explanation, no closure. It really nicked my heart. He apologized sincerely, and gave me his new phone number to text him if I wasn't too mad to talk to him.

What a blast from the past!

Around midnight, Ginger went to bed, and finally miss p and I had appetite for my cake. She'd bought one called Chocolate Binge and it was so good. She'd put candles on it, several small ones with animal print, and number candles saying 69. hehe! So funny.

Finally I went to bed around 1. I slept with Ginger and laid feather duvets on the floor next to the bed for miss p, at her request. She is comfortable sleeping on the floor... and liked being near us.

In the morning Ginger and I had sex when we woke in bed. He'd had time to think over all our STD statuses... miss p and I both having been tested recently. And apparently, he was feeling confident. We are now fluid bonded! It was pretty damn sweet to have him just slide on in without fumbling with a condom. After he came he said, Happy Birthday. hehe! The man has hardly ever had sex with no condom. Only when he and his wife were trying for babies. It seemed he enjoyed it. :p

We had a leisurely morning, all 3 of us. Chatting, cuddles, kisses and some more (somewhat more low key) sexual activity just before Ginger left around 2pm. :) I was glad miss p and Ginger had more time to get to know each other, they do like each other so much. I felt so pampered and loved by both of them. What a great birthday.

nycindie 08-08-2012 12:36 PM

Happy Birthday, dear! Sounds like a fun, sexy celebration! Woo-hoo!


Originally Posted by Magdlyn (Post 147058)
When I turned on my laptop, I saw I had an IM from my old boytoy D! As some of you might remember, he dumped me back in Jan 2011 with no explanation, no closure. It really nicked my heart. He apologized sincerely, and gave me his new phone number to text him if I wasn't too mad to talk to him.

What a blast from the past!

Wow, are you gonna text or call him? I would, if only to find out what happened and maybe get that closure you wanted. Or to see him again...? ;) I remember how much you enjoyed being with him.

Magdlyn 08-08-2012 01:09 PM


Originally Posted by nycindie (Post 147061)
Happy Birthday, dear! Sounds like a fun, sexy celebration! Woo-hoo!

Thanks! It could not have been a better time! I was glad both lovers made it so special for me, having considered my objections to how the last 3way date went. What a couple of sweethearts!


Wow, are you gonna text or call him? I would, if only to find out what happened and maybe get that closure you wanted.
I did text him after Ginger left and we texted back and forth a few times throughout the day. He humbly said he has an emotional IQ of about 0%, which was why he didn't explain earlier. I had thought he'd found another woman/women to have sex with, or maybe a deeper relationship, and so left me for her/them, but that doesn't seem to be the case. He'd graduated college while we were seeing each other and soon after that, gotten a high pressure job at Fidelity (he's great with numbers). So, the job got to be too much for him, he quit soon after our last encounter and moved "up north" and got an "attic room" to figure out where he wanted his life to go. Wish he'd have told me that sooner!

I teased him, asking if he was still in the woods, bearded, and living off roots and berries. But no, now he's moved back closer by, says he wants to stay in the insurance biz, but not in sales. Finally, I see around 1AM he texted asking how I've been.


Or to see him again...? ;) I remember how much you enjoyed being with him.
Eh, I dunno. When we first met, I was looking for a casual relationship and good hard fucking. D suited me, and he was fun and funny and endearing. But he only got together when it suited him, usually just once a month. He never even spent the night.

Now that I've got Ginger, he has to offer what D did, plus so much more! I think I've got too much self respect to start up again with D, after what he did to me. I'm just glad for the closure. As far as his question, "how have you been," I've got too much to tell for a text!

Magdlyn 08-09-2012 09:57 AM

I spent more time yesterday texting back and forth with D. He asked me more specific questions about what I've been up to in my love life, so I briefly mentioned how I didn't date much last year, but found The Hottie, The Gentleman and The Ginger all late in the year. How Hottie and Gentleman are now history, but things are going great with Ginger, and with miss pixi as well.

Finally I asked him if he's seen anyone since he left me. He says he has a gf now, they have been "kickin it for a bit." Finally he admitted she is not kinky and the sex has become stale and boring for him, though she enjoys it. She seems resistant to being more experimental in that realm. What could I say? Be true to yourself, don't deny your sexuality. No one wins in that scenario. If she is not satisfying in that area, dump her and find a kinky gf. *shrug* I felt kind of weird being his "therapist" after not having talked to him in 18 months.

Of course, I suspect he'd like to use me as an escape (he spoke quite specifically and fondly of times when we were together), but to his credit, he didn't ask. And I really have no desire to start seeing him again after he cut me off 18 months ago with no explanation anyway. Even if he does heartily regret doing that to me now, and very humbly apologized.

And I wouldn't start seeing him if he was going behind his gf's back, as that goes against my poly ethics.

Talking to him again, though, did make my day kind of rough, because it brought back memories of all the good times we had together for 2 years... sigh... My wound had been scarred over but now it's been reopened a bit. I needed alone time to process it yesterday. miss pixi was here and was comforting and then left me to think and feel and try to come to terms with this all over again.

Magdlyn 08-09-2012 01:19 PM

Another reason not to get back with D, or to have sex with a new lover, should anyone interest me, is that Ginger and I have just become fluid bonded. We had time and energy to discuss that in chat this morning. I think if miss pixi or I were to become sexual with someone outside our triad, Ginger would want to use condoms again, just to be doubly sure he was safe from disease. I don't want to go back to condoms with him, we've only just begun the fun and ease of being condomless.

Plus, the developing dynamic between the 3 of us is so fun, romantic, warm and erotic, I don't really desire any further entanglements right now. I'd like to focus on that for a while, without the stress of more first dates with new people. Of course, they might have other ideas for themselves, and all that will have to be negotiated as needed.

nycindie 08-09-2012 07:52 PM

Well, it certainly sounds like D. knows he was a heel. And one could say that it was brave of him to get in touch and apologize after so long, to make amends and all that, but I wonder if he had a motive behind that, of seeing if you were available for sex again. Especially since his gf bores him in bed. Ehh, it might be better for you if you stop communicating with him. At least you have some sort of closure and aren't as much in the dark as you were.

I think you sound like you are in a great place with the Ginger and miss pixi, and taking the time to enjoy it all and process the development and deepening of your relationships is an excellent focus for your energies.

Magdlyn 08-14-2012 07:31 PM

Well, I certainly don't blame D for putting some feelers out. We had an awesome FWB type sexual dynamic, really creative and super hot. And it's easy to forgive him, he's just a kid after all. I remember doing dumb things in relationships at his age too.

But anyway... he hasn't messaged again. Prolly scared of my big badass boyfriend! (Actually he and Ginger have the same exact body type, same height, 6'2", and almost identical above average sized cocks, hehe!) He hasn't messaged again, so we'll see if that is that, or if he gets back in touch if and when he breaks up with his gf.

Meanwhile, my super busy summer continues. miss pixi and I went on a reggae cruise on Sunday, on Boston Harbor. Big boat, 3 decks, 3 bars, and reggae (2 bands) on the top deck. One of our favorite groups that comes from the Fingerlakes, John Brown's Body, was the headliner, and they were SO good. What a great day, hot and muggy in town, only warm and fresh and drier out in the Harbor. So fun to boogie and watch the passing scenery of the Harbor islands and all the boats. 3 hour tour. We got lots of good pix. After that we returned to her place to watch the Olympics closing ceremonies. I left her place at 10:15 to drive home to go to work the next morning! Long day.

I'm working for a different family (childcare) this week as well as my usual family. I won't see Ginger til Saturday. miss pixi is going away for a week to work at camp again that day, and I'll drop her off at her ride's place, then Ginger and I are supposed to go to a dance, drum and arts fest after that.

However, he has had sore joints and other issues since June and was just diagnosed with Lyme today! We are at least glad to get the diagnosis. He had a tick bite back in June which led to a rash. Glad he got it figured out fairly early. Now he can get treated. He starts antibiotics today. Sore joints aren't good for the fucking!

CherryBlossomGirl 08-14-2012 07:38 PM

Wow, your life is amazing - love reading your words and hearing about the sexy love that is in your life Mags.

Magdlyn 08-15-2012 12:06 PM

I finally got a good night's sleep last night. Too many new impressions in the last month: my kids' issues, which I haven't even gone into here, plus traveling, socializing, driving, dancing, parties, shopping, 3 birthdays, working, volunteering, Ginger having Lyme symptoms... then the D thing. Sheesh! Been having wicked insomnia all week.

Had a day to myself yesterday, didn't talk to my kids, no partners here, no dogs, no nannying. Thank god for a day off. I was able to organize my new dishes and make some order around here. Today I am not working til 5:30 and then have tomorrow off too, before working Friday morning, and then driving to Boston to help miss p finalize her packing for her week at camp. Saturday aft, drive her to her ride's place in Worcester. Then driving to the Ginger's and going to the dance/arts fest if he's up to it. Then back to Boston that night to spend the night there with miss p's dogs, then Sunday driving them back to my place and starting a new week. I'll be dogsitting all week.

nycindie 08-15-2012 02:45 PM

Wow, what a calendar! Poly is not for the faint of heart - nor the disorganized, that's for sure, LOL.

Glad you got a good night's sleep. http://forum.volition.com/images/icon_smile_sleepy.gif

As someone who has struggled with insomnia for almost 30 years, I know how refreshing it is to just... sleep.


Magdlyn 08-20-2012 03:09 PM

Thanks, Cindie! I am continuing to sleep well. The main reason I wasn't lately was because of worry about my mentally ill daughter, and my ex dragging me into trying a scheme to help her, that did not help, and just upset me. I am again distancing myself from that mess.

In poly relationship news:

Ginger is not feeling well. The Lyme disease is kicking his ass. His joint soreness is lessening just a bit since he started antibiotics, but still pretty bad, and he tired very easily. But we did have a lovely date on Saturday. We hadn't seen each other in 12 days! I went to his place around 3, to his private cabin, and we went into an immediate hot clinch. Rawr! really good. Then we collected ourselves, dressed, and I drove us to this big outdoor drum fest he goes to every year. Despite his illness, he didnt want to miss it.

It was in a gorgeous setting of fields and woods, right next to a canal which led to a river. The rhythms were fantastic. He tried to dance, but it caused him too much pain. So, we took a romantic walk along the canal, held hands, talked. Returned to the drum circle and sat in the shade and many of his friends stopped by to chat. I got introduced to people.

After an hour, he said he needed to leave. I felt sad for him that he couldn't dance and enjoy the fest this year in his usual ecstatic way. But then he suggested going out to have dinner. :) This was our first time eating out, since he has many food allergies and aversions. But he had a cute old fashioned drive-in in mind, 10 mins away from the fest. We had seafood and frappes and it was fun!

After that we drove back to his place. He had put on lots of sunscreen since he has to be careful of the sun (he's a light skinned freckled person, plus the antibiotics make him even more sun-sensitive). So, he wanted to shower, and I had the enjoyment of watching him wash down in his rustic outdoor shower.

Then we climbed up in his loft and snuggled for a while, a little groping, low key, because he was tired. I left around 8 to go back to miss pixi's place. I am on dog duty for a week because she is away all week counseling at a camp for transgendered kids (her 2nd year doing this).

Magdlyn 08-20-2012 03:17 PM

So, just before going to see Ginger, I had dropped miss p at her ride's place so they could drive to the camp. I miss her... she has little time to be in touch. I am getting a few texts a day. She is having a great time, and it's a great healing experience for her to do this. She loves working with the kids.

I spent Saturday night at miss p's place, just me and her dogs, then came back to my place on Sunday.

Hopefully Ginger will feel up to another visit sometime midweek. Otherwise I've got work, volunteer work, chores, errands, reading, and my other hobbies to fill my time. It's a little more downtime for me to enjoy my own company after such a hectic summer!

Magdlyn 09-08-2012 10:19 AM

Baggage Control asked me how long it took to "luck out" and find long term partners that were a good match for me in the poly world, so here's a bit of a recap...

My ex-h and I separated in October of 2008, after 30+ years of marriage and 3 kids. He moved out. In early January of 2009, I joined ok cupid. I got a lot of attention from men right away, and almost had a date with one, but he backed out at the last minute. But soon afterwards, I met miss pixi there, PMed and IMed a lot, and met her on one of the last days in January. Our first date lasted a weekend and we were a great match, and in NRE heaven. Our connection has now lasted over 3 years.

My marriage had had such a long spiral down the toilet, I knew what I did and did not want in a lover, and she hit all the checkboxes.

All the while she and I were starting our exciting new relationship, I continued to date. Mostly men, one other woman. I had several long term relationships, lasting from 7 months to 2 years. I was new to practicing BDSM and wanted to sample that world. Since I am a switch, I dated subs, Doms and other switchy kinksters. I dated single guys, one married poly guy and even one cheating married man.

The best relationship was a playpartner/boytoy, D. He was extremely young, only just 21 when we met, but just my type. In a way, since I became exclusive with my ex h at age 19, it was a fantastic way to reclaim my own youth. D was tall, lean, well hung, great hair, smart, great way with words. He was perfect for me in bed, a real tiger, with lots of energy, imagination and stamina. When we weren't having wildcat sex, he was relaxing and comforting to be around.

However, he wanted a NSA relationship. After our first public date, we never went on another one, but just met at my house (before we sold it), or in my van in secluded spots, or in my new apartment. I could understand him not wanting me to meet his friends, I was his secret lover... our age gap was huge. He did meet miss pixi a few times and we even shared sex between us twice.

Magdlyn 09-08-2012 10:34 AM

So, I must have dated 25-30 guys since early '09. Offers on okc continued to pour in. I was like a kid in a candy store. It was very healing after the rockiness of being with my ex h, who was so standoffish and passive aggressive for many years before we finally gave up the ghost.

D faded suddenly out of my life in January of last year (2011). After a few months went by, and he wasn't coming on chat, I tried to get in touch and some woman answered his phone. I didn't know if she was his gf answering his phone or if he'd gotten a new phone and a different number. I was so flummoxed, I didn't even ask her.

At the same time I was wondering about where D had gone, and missing him, my luck on okc began to run out. I was more picky by this time and had updated my profile to reflect my new poly values. I was no longer interested in just exploring kink, I wanted a real boyfriend. So, I had very few dates last year, and was quite frustrated, knowing I had so much love, caring and SEX to offer, and wasn't getting any takers.

It was kinda tough.

But finally in August, I got a long PM from The Gentleman and we met in early October. I got a PM from The Hottie in November and we met soon after. In December, I saw The Ginger had "rated me highly" on okc, so I messaged him and we met in early January.

The Hottie and I had 3-4 trysts and he was a perfect lover... oh god. (Best oral I've ever had, by a long shot, and the fucking was great too, and the kinky things we tried... sigh.... :) ) But he broke up with me in March, since he'd decided to go mono with another woman he was interested in.

The Gentleman and I had a 7 month (October-May) relationship and I think I've recorded it well in this blog.

And now, I've got The Ginger. So... to recap, met miss pixi after 4 weeks on okc, been together ever since. Met Ginger after being out there slugging away 3 years, and kissing many many frogs.

Magdlyn 09-13-2012 09:35 AM

miss pixi had another wonderful week at the camp for transgendered kids. She is a counselor as well as one of the cooks. They had a different chef this year than her first year last summer, a young woman who had ordered in all fresh foods. They made everything from scratch. miss p adores cooking and absolutely loved it.

2 weeks went by and this chef invited miss p to work at a lesbian wedding this past weekend. It was out in central Mass and took some serious planning to get miss p out there as she doesn't have a car. Finally she took a bus to the Chef S's house in Northampton and then they drove to the wedding together.

I was glad miss p had a little job as she's been out of work for so long because of her disability. But that meant I had to miss her again after her having just got back from a week at camp. Also, I was once again on dogsitting duty. (I am not a dog person.) I spent the weekend at her place, hoping Ginger would drive in and spend a night.

However, he wasn't feeling up to it. The effects of the 3 week course of antibiotics he needed for his Lyme disease were still bothering him quite a bit, and the fatigue and muzzyheadedness from the actual Lyme were happening as well. He was back and forth in chat about whether he would drive into Boston to see me, and eventually decided not to. It was pretty frustrating waiting for him to make up his mind.

So... I had a kind of lonely weekend despite having 2 lovers! I did a lot of reading, some cleaning, and on Sunday, thrift store shopping and photography.

miss pixi got home 7:30 Sunday night and we had a nice reunion. She had a lot of fun at the wedding job, and then some time for running around Northampton on Sunday with Chef S and her partner before catching her bus. Northampton is one of the gayest towns in the country.

Magdlyn 09-13-2012 09:45 AM

miss pixi told me she wanted to spend more time with me, so on Monday we drove back to my place, where she will stay for the week. Lo and behold, early Monday morning, after being so vague all weekend, Ginger messaged me wanting to see me asap, could he come Wed, how about Tuesday, actually how about today???

So, miss p and I got back here around 6, went to the grocery store, and Ginger got here at 7. miss pixi wasn't in the mood for sexy time with him (she told me she was more into just reconnecting with me after all our time apart). So Ginger and I had sex in the living room as she cooked in the kitchen at the other end of the space. Eventually he and I moved to the bedroom.

Once we were done we came out and socialized with miss p, talking and looking at her pix from camp. Ginger tired early and went to bed at 10.

He was feeling better in the morning and we had some nice time to cuddle, chat and have breakfast.

He'd had a hobby of making chainmail for a while, and I told him how Nina Garcia, one of the Project Runway judges, had worn a chainmail designer dress the other week. He got all interested and looked up a video of the Yves St Laurent winter 2011 show when he introduced his chainmail dresses. I was pretty happy to have a bf who would look at fashion with me!

Eventually we took a shower together and had shower sex, even actual intercourse in there, which would've been difficult if we weren't fluid bonded!

Ginger left around 11. Later in the day I felt the beginnings of congestion and Tuesday came down with a full blown cold. I'd just had a virus in late July! Of course, I got this from the little girl I sit for, who has just started back to school. Dammit! Also, I have decided to quit smoking and started cutting back last week, and then started Chantix this week. Hard to tell how much of the coughing and mucus is from the cold and how much is from cutting way back on cigs!

Magdlyn 09-28-2012 01:29 PM

Ahhh, the long summer of my discontent is over. Ginger has finally recovered from the Lyme and we had a fantastic 24 hour date this past Tuesday morning into Wednesday. Tons of sex and a trip to my favorite beach, seafood dinner out. Whew, so glad his energy is back. We could not keep our hands and mouths off each other, kisses, cuddles, spankings, talks, walks, adventures in nature, love. Ahhh...

Magdlyn 09-30-2012 06:56 PM

While Ginger was so sick, I got lonely. I see miss p on the weekends and was in the habit of seeing Ginger mid week, but he didn't have the energy to see me every week for a while. It was more like 10 days to 2 weeks, and when we did get together, we didn't have the intensity of old.

So, I went back to okc and FL. Hmm, now I've got about 5 men wanting to chat, talking of future dates, and one date set up with one of them for Thursday lunch! And yet, Ginger is back in fine form again! LOL! Oops. Polysaturation, here I come again.

Date this week is with a nice 28 year old engineer. He kept wanting to talk on the phone so I finally let him call me (we'd been PMing), and he sounded quite nice, easy to talk to. He builds robots for a living, likes to play tennis, is a foodie like me, likes to read. Seems to have a thing for the older ladies. He has dated an older poly woman before. I'll come up with a nickname if the date goes well.

BoringGuy 09-30-2012 07:09 PM


Originally Posted by Magdlyn (Post 157612)

So, I went back to okc and FL.

LOL when I saw "okc and FL" i first thought, "Oklahoma City and Florida? Why did she have to go THERE to find dates?"

Magdlyn 10-15-2012 03:05 PM

Date with new boy was fun at first, but a letdown ultimately. Let's just say, he turned out to be way too vanilla for me, though perfectly nice and respectful.

I've been PMing with a 60 year old guy who is a 93% okc match, for a week. I think he has potential, we have much important stuff in common :) . However, I am going to Fla for 10 days, leaving this Friday, and once I get back, will need to see miss p and Ginger and get back to my job, so I'm not sure how soon I can see new guy. But he seems quite willing to wait. He's a retired antiques dealer, and is studying to be a holistic nutritionist. He's got a paid for house on an acre of land with woods behind it. And, yeah, kinky. Has a gf who has another bf. Has all his hair. Tall and lanky with pretty blue eyes. Check, check, checks the boxes.

Magdlyn 11-06-2012 01:17 PM

Well, my last few weeks have been overly busy and distressing and fun and tiring and all over the map.

Trip to Fla was very difficult. Our dad is 84 and really losing it. My sister and I spent 3 days cleaning out our late mom's housewares, and she has quite a collection. We took 6 carloads to Goodwill and packed up about a dozen boxes for each of us as well.

Dad is being extremely stupidly stubborn about moving out of his condo and over near my sister on her side of the state. He's ungrateful she makes the drive to care for him once a month! He's also depressed and drinks too much. Grrr....

Then I had to fly home barely ahead of Sandy! Scary! Changed planes in Newark. I was on one of the last flights out of there before it closed!

Just before I went away, one of miss pixi's 2 dogs died after 5 weeks of illness, probably cancer. Oy. So much to process!

So! Now home and reconnecting with miss pixi and Ginger. And also had my first date with the new guy I mentioned above. Turns out he's been looking for someone to Domme him for 4 years and I think we're a pretty good fit. He's nice, he's attractive, he's upbeat and smart. I find myself interested in this dynamic with him. He is incredibly infatuated with me. Into household service as well as any romantic/sexual/kink stuff I can offer. On our date last Friday, he took me out for a huge sushi and sake lunch, for which he paid. Then we did a little thrift store shopping... back to my place then, where he met miss pixi and we all chatted a while. Then we "scened..." as the terminology goes. Good times. He wants to see me again this Friday.

Maybe I will nickname him SubbieBoy here.

nycindie 11-08-2012 02:46 AM


Originally Posted by Magdlyn (Post 164652)
Trip to Fla was very difficult. Our dad is 84 and really losing it . . . He's ungrateful she makes the drive to care for him once a month! He's also depressed and drinks too much. Grrr....

Oh, so sorry to hear that. Is it possible for your sis to become his legal guardian? Then she could make decisions for him and manage his finances, living arrangements, etc. I don't know how it is in Florida, but it was a matter of filing some papers and making a statement in court under oath when I became my mother's legal guardian. Still an emotional process, but not that difficult.


Originally Posted by Magdlyn (Post 164652)
Then I had to fly home barely ahead of Sandy! Scary! Changed planes in Newark. I was on one of the last flights out of there before it closed!

Glad you made it home safely, Mags!


Originally Posted by Magdlyn (Post 164652)
And also had my first date with the new guy I mentioned above. Turns out he's been looking for someone to Domme him for 4 years and I think we're a pretty good fit. He's nice, he's attractive, he's upbeat and smart. I find myself interested in this dynamic with him. He is incredibly infatuated with me. Into household service as well as any romantic/sexual/kink stuff . . . Maybe I will nickname him SubbieBoy here.

This nickname made me giggle out loud. Maybe you could call him Houseboy if he's into household service. I forget - did you meet him thru OKC or Fetlife?

Always nice to see you here and get your updates. We need to catch up!

Magdlyn 11-24-2012 02:34 PM

He was from OKC, Cindie. Turns out Houseboy wasn't quite what I thought he was. I thought he was much more experienced in the D/s world, but he's basically a complete noob, and has made many mistakes since our rather pleasant first date. He's over enthusiastic one day and leery the next about how much power exchange he wants. Hard to figure him out. miss p liked him and says he's worth another chance... I don't know.

Basically he was rather upsetting when I didn't need further upset, after all the above mentioned family stress.

Anyway! Things are going great with miss p and Ginger. Lots of love and fun and yumminess. Ginger came over yesterday morning and we had couple time while miss p slept, and my son slept (he's visiting over the long weekend). Sexy time and then a nice walk on our last warm day of the season, at a nearby nature preserve.

Then when we got home, the others were awake and Ginger finally met my son! He's also been helping me set up 3 shelving units in the guest room for my Pyrex collection. (Hey, with a bf like that, do I really need a Houseboy? lol)

Thanksgiving Day was spent cooking with the son and miss pixi, and then my daughter and the kids' dad (my ex) came over for dinner.

Magdlyn 12-03-2012 05:14 PM

OKC scorecard since late summer:

28 year old engineer. One date, he took my picture when taking his leave, and then never got in touch again. 5 weeks later, he texts me saying he apologizes for not being in touch. He was overwhelmed by my "sexual ability."


62 year old so-called sub. Not sub enough, a blabbermouth, inexperienced noob with fuzzy boundary making abilities. Lazy and self centered, 17 yr old in a 62 yr old body. Feh.

Latest attempt: since early October, a 25 yr old has been PMing me on okc. Let's call him Irish. He said he was kinky, sub with switch tendencies, wanted to be my boy toy. Sounded so eager. Kept bugging me. I finally make a date, since he seemed fun enough. On day of lunch date, he hadnt confirmed meeting at 1. So I texted him at 11, and at 11:20, and then again at 12:15, finally saying since he hadn't confirmed, and maybe had cold feet, I was cancelling. He texted at 12:30 saying he didn't have cold feet, was just getting sick, wrapped up on couch.

Didn't even say sorry for not letting me know sooner!

So, that's that for lameass dudes. I'm taking another long okc break.

Magdlyn 12-24-2012 06:53 PM

My health has been bad lately. I injured my back in September, it healed, but the pain flared up again, worse than ever, on top of a cold that turned into a sinus infection! I went to the dr and got pain meds for my back and antibiotics for the infection. I was stoned on narcotics for 3 days, and now the pain has lessened a bit. I was on a 3 day course of antibiotics and felt better but after a couple days the symptoms came back, cough, fever.

Somehow I managed to throw a lovely Yule ritual and party for miss pixi, Ginger and my son. Bf and son had only met once before and briefly, so I was glad they got to spend some more time together.

My back didn't prevent me from lots of sex with Ginger and also sex with miss pixi in the days preceding Yule. I am insatiable. Just had to be careful with positions, heh.

Now, it is Xmas Eve and I am throwing a little dinner party with miss p's and son's help. My local daughter (who is doing better dealing with her mental illness lately) has found a seemingly nice bf and they just got their own apartment. I've only met her bf once before. So they are coming over around 7 for dinner and presents.

Tomorrow miss p and son and I are going to go see the Les Miserables movie. She is so enamoured of the story and stage play so we are very excited. Then son will leave and miss p and I will go drive around and look at Xmas lights, then come home and exchange our presents.

Just wish I wasn't sick for it all... sigh. At least I've got good love in my life.

Diabolika 12-24-2012 09:09 PM

Wow, I just sat here and read your entire blog. This was wonderful. I hope you get well quickly! Happy holidays and New Year!

Magdlyn 01-10-2013 12:26 AM

Thanks, Diabolika!

So miss pixi and I went to see Les Mis a couple days later than planned since she also got the flu. But we made it and it was great!

2 nights before NYE we got 6" of snow here, but on NYE eve, we went to see a band of a friend of hers, at an Irish pub, in Somerville (in near Boston). It was singer/songwriter night and her friend's band was on first, so after she played, she joined us and her wife and we sat thru the next 2 bands, drank and ate and chatted. Fun! There was a bit less snow in Somerville and we found a parking space no problem.

Our money woes are somewhat lessening, hence going out to a pub for once! miss pixi got on SSDI (disability payments) and is picking up a work from home, part time, but well paying website design job or 2.

NYE we were still in Lowell and had Ginger over for a cozy night in, dinner, cocktails, tons of sex, blues music playing, then we poured hot fudge sauce on Ginger, sprayed on some whipped cream here and there, and dipped fruit in it, along with champagne to drink as midnight fell and 2013 began. Then we watched Kathy Griffin being extremely naughty with Anderson Cooper on CNN... it was so sexual and gay! Totally suited our moods.

So since then, last weekend I did a photo shoot of miss pixi for fun, partly negligee and partly fashion. Last Sunday was my 1 year anniversary with Ginger but he had to take his son back to college that day, so we are getting together tomorrow for a museum date, since our first date was a museum. He says he's not usually the holiday type, but every time he thinks of us hitting the one year mark, he gets a big smile.

He wants to do a photoshoot of ME on my new sheets. I found some brand new flannel leopard sheets at the thrift store. Rawr.

Magdlyn 01-15-2013 06:17 PM

So many changes in the week since I posted. miss p and I have known for a while that moving in together would save us a shit ton of money, rent, gas back and forth, not to mention the hassle of one of us packing up every week to visit the other. But I didn't want to move in with her *just* to save money. She had a lot of health and anxiety issues that caused me to feel tension around her. Her lack of confidence also impacted her sex drive which I have found moderately to extremely frustrating.

Also, she had 2 large dogs and in a city apartment, that's more added action, barking, dog food, neediness, etc., that I didnt enjoy.

Well, one of her dogs died late last summer and while it was sad, it does add to the tranquility factor. Not to mention half the expense in dog food.

miss p's confidence in the past year has really grown and somehow the past several months her sex drive just keeps increasing. I hardly dared to trust it but we talked about it and it seems to be a true development for her, not just a fluke. Whew!

Both our current leases are up soon, mine in April, hers in July, and we'd just started talking about getting a place a bit south of Boston together, and closer to Ginger.

Well, what do you think? Her... bf? ex-bf? ex-Master? M, is just about to close on a very large house with his gf. They are both busy professionals and not domestic at all. They never had a falling out, but just found it difficult to get together because of transportation issues. M offered miss p a full time, live in housekeeper position! She would get free room and board and a floor of the house to herself. He totally respects miss p's relationship with me and while I wouldn't live there, I would be welcome at any time. Also miss p could set her own job description, and is free to decorate the entire house with her own extra furniture and collectibles.

This offer has really throw us for a loop! She'd be able to save even more money this way, yes. But, I still want to move. I am tired of my 3rd floor apt in Lowell, and want a first floor with a bit more nature around it, and it would be lovely to be closer to Ginger. Would that arrangement bring me closer to Ginger and bring miss p closer to M? Yes. Our dynamic would change a lot... even if she doesn't really forge a satisfying sexual relationship with M, she would become much more involved with him and his gf and the large circle of kink friends they will be often if not constantly hosting.

Food for thought! Eek!

MeeraReed 01-16-2013 02:24 AM

Just to clarify: you are thinking of moving south of Boston to be closer to everyone, but you would NOT move into the housekeeper apartment with Miss Pixi?

Whatever, sounds like fun! Love the blog, by the way.

Magdlyn 01-16-2013 02:58 AM

This is all in a state of flux. We are looking at the best way to feel good emotionally as well as save/make the most money.

Now it is looking like we'd save a bit more by miss p and me moving in together, somewhere closer to Ginger, rather than me get a place alone and her stay with M and LC.

The savings in rent by moving in together might exceed her free room and board at M's, plus the gas I'd need to go visit her on weekends as I do now. And I am tired of driving to see her every weekend if it's no longer necessary. It took me a while to consider the moving in together plunge, for various reasons, one of which is having come from a 30 year relationship and enjoying space.

nycindie 01-16-2013 10:39 AM

She should definitely get a full understanding of what the housekeeper position entails, in exchange for the room and board. They might expect her to be on duty more hours than is reasonable or something like that. I know she was a sub to him, and so she probably wouldn't mind that too much, but when your living space hinges upon that sort of thing, I would be very cautious. You would have to be certain that it is treated as a real, professional agreement without personal issues/expectations getting in the way and potentially putting her in the position of having to move out if bad feelings arise. I think it could get sticky.

I agree that it sounds like a better situation if you and she move in together, closer to Ginger. Maybe you can find a place big enough to each have your own private spaces.

Magdlyn 02-03-2013 02:51 PM

From another thread


Originally Posted by NovemberRain (Post 182188)
I really recommend this article to you:

It's very long, but well worth the read.

I read it. It is long but the bullet points at the end sum it all up nicely. God, I hate unicorn hunters. I get so pissed at our Personals forum here. All these damn smug couples looking to "add a third" like she is a commodity! A sexbot.

I was just burnt by a couple, together for a year, who had had a unicorn for 8 of those months. She broke up with them at xmas. So, the guy contacted me on okc, saying they were now dating separately. I really didn't think we were right for each other but he was adamant, persistent, and cute and seemed very cool. Also, Ginger realized he was friends of friends of this guy's gf, so I said, I'd meet him.

We had a lovely date. He bought me lunch in Cambridge, then we walked around... and he asked to hold hands, kissed me a little, cuddled a lot, we ended with coffee in a little park. He was charming and interesting and interested. He walked me to my bus, kissed me, asked me to add him on FB, all that.

And then no word for 2 weeks.

I had explained my position to him before I met him. He said, we can kiss and cuddle if we want, but no sex til you meet my gf. Which seemed rather presumptuous of him but whatever. I said, when he asked if I was interested in his gf, I do not date couples, but who knows? If he and I become a thing, and I meet the gf and like her, she and I might end up friends or lovers, you never know. After all, that happened with miss pixi and Ginger here.

So after 2 weeks I messaged him on okc, just "Hey [his name]." No answer. I saw he'd been on okc the day of my message too! So, a day or 2 later, I msged him on FB with a few more words, like, "How are you doing? I messaged you on okc and no answer, what's up?"

Finally, he wrote me back on okc. Saying he and the gf are back to only dating as a couple! And he didn't say sorry for not bothering to tell me until I friggin messaged him twice. So, I wrote saying that was rude and I was hurt, and he then wrote back saying he apologized.

Grrrrr! Did I mention I hate unicorn hunters? The irony of all this is, his gf is a "life coach" and teaches classes and writes books about relationships and dating! Yet, they are both fine with treating me like a ... thing.

NovemberRain 02-11-2013 01:19 AM

Hey Magdlyn,

Urg, sorry that happened to you. blech. I hope that article gets around and helps at least some clueless hunters get a clue.

Hope you got through the blizzard safely.


Magdlyn 02-11-2013 01:30 AM


Originally Posted by NovemberRain (Post 183828)
Hey Magdlyn,

Urg, sorry that happened to you. blech. I hope that article gets around and helps at least some clueless hunters get a clue.

Hope you got through the blizzard safely.


I sent a link to the article to both my date and his gf. Hope they get a clue. Maybe they think I am real uppity and won't read it...

I made it safely thru Nemo except for a sore shoulder from shoveling-- thanks for the well wishes!

Magdlyn 03-21-2013 03:47 PM

House hunting has been going on since I gave my notice with my landlord the beginning of March. It's hard! Places are getting snapped up out from under us right and left.

Yesterday we toured one with our agent that does NOT already have an offer on it. Fingers crossed! It's 10 mins from Ginger's home.

Send us some luck!

fuchka 03-22-2013 02:54 AM

Luck! House hunting can really be a hunt, eh, teeth bared and blood rushing. One of my partners recently found a new apartment, finally, after an increasingly panicked search as the date to move out of their current place approached. What a relief. Fingers crossed for you

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