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-   -   Get out!!! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22718)

Pretzels 03-30-2012 12:09 AM

Get out!!!
So, we three like to take our show on the road from time to time for a quick weekend away or an extended roadtrip. We've done this from pretty much day one of being friends.

Does anyone have tips and tricks to traveling with your clan/group/cult/whatever beyond always booking a king-size bed? ;)

Pretzels 05-31-2012 01:42 AM

Just as I thought...everyone stays home. ;)

Anyhow, just back from a bit of a romp across the country. Seems like most hotels threaten to charge for beyond two people in a room but rarely make good on it.

JaneQSmythe 05-31-2012 03:00 AM

We are not "out" publicly at home due to my job. I really enjoy being with my guys outside of our usual roaming grounds because I feel a lot free-er to express my affection for them without worrying that someone I know will see us.

When we are out in other areas I love holding hands with both of my guys as we walk down the street. Or kissing one and then the other at an out-of-town concert. I like going places with them where I can act naturally with them - like I do when I'm at home. MrS and Dude have apparently noted people doing a "double-take" or looking at us in amazement (or disapproval?) - I'm generally enjoying myself too much to take notice.

We are planning our first "shared" week-long vacation next month (we usually stay home - I really like a nice "Porch-View" vacation). Booked a king-size bed for the hotel :) One weekend we will be staying with one of my best friends who knows the situation. She commented that her guest room only has a double bed so one of us may want to elect for the couch (she's guessing it will be me because I am the smallest and her couch is short :eek:). Don't really know how her husband feels though.

The only part I am still up in the air about is... I plan on seeing my Grandparents (who live in the state we are traveling to) for dinner one night. I'm not sure if I am going to ask if we can bring Dude (as "MrS's friend") or ask him to stay at the hotel that evening. The last time MrS and I vacationed with someone else to their state (a married couple - just friends, not romantically involved) I did not ask if the couple could come to dinner - they did their own thing. I would like for him to meet my grandparents, I don't want for him to be alone, but I don't know if they would think it strange. (If it makes any difference, when I was living with MrS before we were married they would invite us for dinner as a couple and never said one word about the fact that we were "living in sin" - and got quite upset when one of my relatives made what was essentially a snide comment about it - they thought the relative was quite rude to US by making mention of it.)


NovemberRain 05-31-2012 05:57 AM

I'm still trying to figure out how to be in the same place with my two men. :) They're a bit delicate for traveling, as am I. They're emotionally delicate for travel, while I thrive on it. However, my body just doesn't tolerate travel as well as I used to.

I hope I get the chance to pick up tips and tricks.

Do you have any for us, after your romp, Pretzels?

Pretzels 06-02-2012 12:02 AM

I find us, a MFM triad, disappearing either into big cities or camping in the middle of nowhere as the best retreats for the three of us. In either place, we find we can be a little more of ourselves than if we're just at, say, the local Target.

We have fairly similar interests (or at least can humor the others while they're pursuing something of lesser importance to one of us), so these retreats usually aren't forced marches for any of us.

Couple of tricks I've learned about dealing with hotels:

- Never put down that there will be three people in room when you're using an online booking system. A lot of times that will automatically bump the price up by at least $20.

- If you think a hotel is going to balk at three people in the room, check in as a "couple" with one of your people and get two keys. Go back out to the car and hand off the second key.

- If you're into co-sleeping, always book a king-size room. If hotels can't fill that offer, you usually downgrade to a workable two full-size beds room and push for some sort of comp.

- Join travel sites online and send invites to your people to join, too. Usually, a site will offer you bonus cash if you sign up, refer someone else to the site who signs up and books through the site. At one site, I can earn $50 towards a booking if both T and E sign up because of my invites and book one stay each through it. I love the economics of three!!!

Couple of tricks I've learned about dealing with long-ish vacations for three:

- Realize that people need together time, together with another time and alone time.

- Talk about what you want to do beforehand, and not just in the sack. T and I usually do a lot of research about our adventures and find crazy, intriguing things to go peep. E is completely different and usually has one, must-do thing per trip.

- Understand the strengths and weaknesses of the people who you love and are travelling with. If someone can't decide where to eat when he/she is overhungry (think the same condition as overtired), make sure you're either eating regularly, have packed enough snacks or are able to step in and make decisions during crunch times.

- Enjoy the economy of traveling with three. Our most recent trip was my present to T and E before my job gets pretty crazy for the next year or so, but we've more evenly shared expenses in the past. We stayed pretty cheaply, per person, in a some fairly nice places throughout the journey. Also, with three drivers going across country, we were able to do a little bit longer days of driving because someone was almost always fresh.

- Take lots and lots of photos. I'm in a mildly long-distance relationship where I only get home to T and E on weekends. It's nice to have photos up around the apartment where I stay during the week of our journeys and adventures.

Couple of things I still haven't mastered:

- Ugh, all of these sites have package deals (and sometimes quite good) geared towards two.

- Smaller inns and bed and breakfasts. I don't think there's any way to do that without drawing, at the very least, comment.

- Staying with friends/family. This is a no-brainer, when you're a guest in someone's home, your first concern should be not to make them uncomfortable - even if they do know the dynamic. If polyamory is the hill you want to die on, make a scene. I don't enjoy endangering friendships or family relations for the sake of one night. So if E's mom wants me to sleep in a bedroom half a house away from T and E, I'm fine with that just so long as the family dog - one of those quiet, big breeds loyal to the small circle of people they know - doesn't decide to snack on me in the middle of the night.

Part of what I love so much about the men with whom I'm involved is that we like going places. My only other experience with a polyamorous group was very claustrophobic for various reasons and I felt like a kept woman at times.

Somegeezer 06-08-2012 11:12 AM


Originally Posted by Pretzels (Post 137911)
Just as I thought...everyone stays home. ;)

Anyhow, just back from a bit of a romp across the country. Seems like most hotels threaten to charge for beyond two people in a room but rarely make good on it.

Well technically, when you pay for a room, you're paying for the rental of the beds, and not for how many people will be in it. It's their problem they don't offer room with more/bigger beds for more people. =P

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