weareopeningup
New member
Hello! Happy to find what seems to be an interesting and supportive community. My wife and I have recently had a realization about our relationship and I'd definitely welcome the ability to discuss it with people who understand.
A bit of history. We've been together for a long time. First serious relationship for either of us, we knew it was forever from early on. We've been through a lot. Spent a long time as your typical* monogamous couple, complete with bouts of jealousy issues on my side (she never cheated, but is just naturally an open person who makes close friends, especially with men). But I grew up and things changed, and next thing I knew I was encouraging her to try a threesome with a male friend. Suddenly we were active swingers.
* Well, typical except for the part where we actually care about each other and respect each other
Despite my growth, some remnants of the old jealousy issues kept us from going beyond same-room swinging. But that too was a long time ago, so flash to recent months and all of a sudden we are admitting to each other that both of us have a free pass to make our own sexual decisions. A little while later, we reconnected on the topic and did a gut check - fully admitting to ourselves the we just agreed that we have an "open marriage".
She has been fortunate enough to take advantage of that opportunity, having a couple experiences with some good friends of ours on her own. I have not had the opportunity.
I'm fine with that imbalance. Even when we were "just" swingers (as opposed to truly 'open'), I always felt that the best part of it was knowing how much she loved it and that she was satisfied. I was obviously also happy with the side benefit of the action I got, but I would have been fine giving that up.
That said, it would be a shame if I didn't take advantage of the opportunity I have. Unfortunately, I don't really know how! It's not an option with any of our current friends (between lack of interest from my side, lack of understanding from theirs, it's a no). And, having been with one woman for basically my whole adult life, I have NO idea how to pick women up! And let me tell you, a married guy with no clue cruising bars alone (no single guy friends 'in the know' to act as wing man) is NOT going to have much success.
So I don't even know where to go from here.
Again, if it never happens, I'm fine. But boy I would love something to happen
Anyway, hello to everyone, thanks for indulging, if you bothered to read that.
A bit of history. We've been together for a long time. First serious relationship for either of us, we knew it was forever from early on. We've been through a lot. Spent a long time as your typical* monogamous couple, complete with bouts of jealousy issues on my side (she never cheated, but is just naturally an open person who makes close friends, especially with men). But I grew up and things changed, and next thing I knew I was encouraging her to try a threesome with a male friend. Suddenly we were active swingers.
* Well, typical except for the part where we actually care about each other and respect each other
Despite my growth, some remnants of the old jealousy issues kept us from going beyond same-room swinging. But that too was a long time ago, so flash to recent months and all of a sudden we are admitting to each other that both of us have a free pass to make our own sexual decisions. A little while later, we reconnected on the topic and did a gut check - fully admitting to ourselves the we just agreed that we have an "open marriage".
She has been fortunate enough to take advantage of that opportunity, having a couple experiences with some good friends of ours on her own. I have not had the opportunity.
I'm fine with that imbalance. Even when we were "just" swingers (as opposed to truly 'open'), I always felt that the best part of it was knowing how much she loved it and that she was satisfied. I was obviously also happy with the side benefit of the action I got, but I would have been fine giving that up.
That said, it would be a shame if I didn't take advantage of the opportunity I have. Unfortunately, I don't really know how! It's not an option with any of our current friends (between lack of interest from my side, lack of understanding from theirs, it's a no). And, having been with one woman for basically my whole adult life, I have NO idea how to pick women up! And let me tell you, a married guy with no clue cruising bars alone (no single guy friends 'in the know' to act as wing man) is NOT going to have much success.
So I don't even know where to go from here.
Again, if it never happens, I'm fine. But boy I would love something to happen
Anyway, hello to everyone, thanks for indulging, if you bothered to read that.