http://www.polyamory.com/forum/ Introduce yourself to the rest :) en Thu, 09 Sep 2010 09:20:22 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.polyamory.com/forum/ http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3671&goto=newpost Tue, 07 Sep 2010 18:25:28 GMT Hello all, Just wanted to say hi and hoping for some interesting conversations on here. I am a 35 year old married with kids. My wife and i are... Hello all,

Just wanted to say hi and hoping for some interesting conversations on here. I am a 35 year old married with kids. My wife and i are both practicing poly independently and together. We are committed to trying to understand ourselves and this idea of poly. We have both had some ups and downs, hard times and good times, although i tend to be the overly emotional one lol. I just lost someone who was incredibly special. She needed to go and find herself and i hope for her the best, but miss her terribly. So my hope is to talk to people here and make friends and hopefully through learning and talking i will grow to know myself that much better. Oh, my wife is the one that suggested i come on here. She's already here...... somewhere lol. ]]> Introductions Vespillo http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3671 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3663&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 23:07:44 GMT Hello everyone! I have been interested in the Poly way of life for probably my entire life. I have always been in relationships with one partner, a... Hello everyone! I have been interested in the Poly way of life for probably my entire life. I have always been in relationships with one partner, a female. I have often suggested that she look for another partner (another male) and they have always been put off by my suggestions. I guess they are shocked that I am looking for a MMF relationship and not the other way around.

I guess I have been looking in all the wrong places and can't wait to meet some like minded people. Hope everyone is having a nice weekend! ]]> Introductions Joshua http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3663 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3659&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 15:27:54 GMT Hi there. I am so excited that I may have found where I belong! I wanted to be the girlfriend for a couple I met on line and then in person way... Hi there. I am so excited that I may have found where I belong! I wanted to be the girlfriend for a couple I met on line and then in person way back in 2001 but that didn't work out because she wasn't ready. I then put those yearnings on the backburner until recently and met a very nice couple yesterday. So then I started doing some research on polyamory I found this website!! I may not find what I am looking for but at least now I know I'm not the only one looking for it. Well, it also helps that I saw that episode on Strange Sex twice now. I can see I have a lot of reading to do! :D ]]> Introductions SweetAmy http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3659 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3655&goto=newpost Sun, 05 Sep 2010 05:42:14 GMT Hello everyone. I am here today because I am in some pain, and have had a lot of anger lately. But let me start from the beginning. I hope you don't mind me really opening up here.
A bit over 7 years ago when my husband and I were getting to know each other and he brought up the idea of a relationship, I told him no because I couldn't be monogamous. He said that was okay and he would just have to share. Share he did. When we got married it was with the agreement that it would remain open. (We were young, me 19, him 21.) My husband was in the army then, and has since become a civilian contractor for the army. He has spent half of our marriage overseas. During his first deployment I met a man who I developed feelings for. It was the first time that had happened since I had been with my husband. It was pretty easy for the relationship to adapt to being open any polyamorous. It went great, and after a bit over a year we broke up and remain very good friends. After that I met someone new and started spending a lot of time with this new guy. I fell in love so hard, so deeply... we have a strange "get out of my head" kind of connection. (For example, one evening he called me while he was camping. The call was fuzzy and neither of us had much to say. I had previously told him I loved him, but he had never said it back, in fact, he told me that he couldn't fall in love with me because I was married.... But that night after we got off the phone and I took a bath I had a sudden memory of him telling me he loved me, but I could not at all remember how I responded or reacted. The next time I saw him he told me he loved me. I asked him later if he had told me on the phone that night and he said "No, but I was thinking it really hard." .. We also often say or think the same things at the same time. It's always been that way. When we were first dating each other I felt like he was me and he felt like he was dating himself. Our connection is strong and unique.) After about a year, he moved in with my husband and me. They are great friends and my boyfriend cares very much for my husband's feelings.
So, this open relationship my husband and I had evolved into a polyamorous relationship. My husband of nearly 7 years has never had another girlfriend, although he has had a couple romantic experiences. He is shy, too intelligent and technical for his own good at times, and has a very strange sense of humor that I think turns a lot of people off. My boyfriend of about 3 and a half years has had a couple romantic interests but nothing that ever got anywhere near serious. Our goal is to find a woman who I can be good friends with, who will like my boyfriend and my husband romantically. I guess we never really discussed the rules that deeply, but we always understood that we liked the same kind of people.
Last week my boyfriend got in contact with a former co-worker who he had a crush on. It turns out she is getting a divorce and also had a crush on him. He made a date with her for Wednesday (week and a half ago). I have had a crush on his best friend for a while, but was always under the impression that my boyfriend would be jealous if I went for one of his friends. We talked about that and he encouraged me to go for him. So I went out with his friend that night. We both had sex that night, and when she was gone and I returned home, my boyfriend and I stayed up late talking and being happy. There were no hurt feelings that night, none at all. (Just confirmed again, there were none.) Everything was good. There was talk that this girl might be the right girl for us. That idea excited me. I want my men to have another woman in their lives, like I have them. The next day my boyfriend called me up from work and told me that this girl had just gotten kicked out of her mom's house, where she was staying since the separation, and he asked if she could stay with us for a couple days. I said yes, anything she needs. I am generally a very accepting, loving, giving person. ...This is where the problems started.

I started to type it out, got about half way through and realized it's just way too long for an introduction, (I was up to 86 lines)... So I will save that, finish it, and post it later. It is why I came here, though. We have been doing this all on our own without any advice or support from people who've been there or anyone to talk to who truly understands. All in all, we are all hurting from our attempt to add another woman when none of us really knew the boundaries and weren't prepared.

So, aside from that, my name is Teela and I am 26 years old. My husband is Jon, 28, and my boyfriend is Korre, 27. We live together in western Washington state and have no children (but 2 cats). No plans for children, either.
I hope to get to know everyone, and hope this can become a place I can come for support. ]]> Introductions TeJoKo http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3655 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3654&goto=newpost Sun, 05 Sep 2010 01:26:45 GMT Already got some great advice on different areas of this site. Im Lou... In Saint Petersburg, FL. Anyone nearby on here? Haven't met a whole lot of poly people here in FL...

Anyway, great to meet ya... ]]> Introductions ArchiePunker http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3654 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3652&goto=newpost Sat, 04 Sep 2010 16:02:24 GMT Hi everyone one we are new to the site but have been looking for another woman for awhile but havent had any luck do you guy have any suggestion. We... Hi everyone one we are new to the site but have been looking for another woman for awhile but havent had any luck do you guy have any suggestion. We live in so cal and nothing but any way this is Matt my wife will be using this also but i guess thats it for now we still dont know how to us everything on here yet haha ]]> Introductions MattandSheryn http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3652 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3643&goto=newpost Thu, 02 Sep 2010 22:08:41 GMT Hello, After bouncing around these boards for a day or two, I thought i would introduce myself. HI, i live in ny (not the city), and have been... Hello,

After bouncing around these boards for a day or two, I thought i would introduce myself.

HI, i live in ny (not the city), and have been married for just over two years. i'm 26, my husband is 24 (a year and a half younger). we have always talked about being in an 'open' relationship, and in the past year or so have been discussing poly. he is really awesome about it, although before my bringing it up he had never really heard about it.

um, i don't want to get into my current poly-relationship 'issue' here (it's not so much an issue as a general wondering), as i understand there are areas for threads more suited for that, so i'll just leave this note at this:

I'm really glad to find these boards, they look like a wealth of information! ]]> Introductions fayeelizibeth http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3643 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3641&goto=newpost Thu, 02 Sep 2010 17:29:41 GMT I came to this site because my marriage is not conventional and we hit a snag. As I read some of the threads on here, I am confused and don't know if I'm in the right forum or if there even IS a forum for my relationship.

My husband and I have an open marriage. I see many threads on here the go on and on about the importance of trust and communication. I completely agree and these two well repeated foundations are in line with what we are dealing with. Then we come to the points on wanting your partner to be happy and be happy yourself. Right there with you still.

But we are not seeking an external love relationship with anyone but each other. I don't know if I would ever be happy and he says he too would not likely be made happy at the idea of either of us cultivating love outside of our primary bond.

So where do we turn when we hit a bump or snag? Is everyone on this site trying to convey they only have sex that includes love and commitment? Is this some way of trying to get your lifestyle to be more palatable to conventional folks? Like when we were in high school and everyone cared too much who everyone else was having sex with while using the justification for our own sexual activities to be that we were in love and that made it okay?

I am aware that a love bond can be forged out of physical interactions and pleasure, but I have also enjoyed sex that did not include love. My friends are my friends because I enjoy their company, but I don't have sex with my friends and I don't romantically love my friends. I have never experienced misplaced or "forbidden" love. I have never been in love with two people before nor wanted to.

We are clear about things with the people we have seen. We do not restrict ourselves to ONS only and have a set of rules we both felt would be reassuring. Still, this is new to us and we'd love to have a place to look to for guidance while navigating our newish circumstances.

I realize this kind of circumstance is a fluid one and that no one can really predict where it will lead to in life. We both are people who think with our heads more than our hearts, but who knows - maybe we will be different in the future. Maybe it will lead us to poly and we will live our last years shacked up with another fully incorporated couple. For now though, where do we fit in? ]]> Introductions Vinccenzo http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3641 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3635&goto=newpost Thu, 02 Sep 2010 05:39:15 GMT Hi!! I’ve just joined the forum here (obviously), and wanted to say hi and all that. So, yeah… hi and all that. I’m new to the poly world, formally.... Hi!! I’ve just joined the forum here (obviously), and wanted to say hi and all that. So, yeah… hi and all that. I’m new to the poly world, formally. I have always been intrigued by the idea, but for one reason or another haven’t informed myself any further than the basics. I hate typing up introductions and such, because they always seem so clinical and dating ad-ish. I will endeavor to achieve a non-personals sounding introduction.

I’m married to a wonderful man. We’ve been married for 5 years (next month) and together for almost 7. We have two beautiful girls together and are very happy in our family life. He is bi, I am (mostly) straight. We have had an open relationship almost from the get-go. We were talking about our past sexual history, and I could tell that he was most likely bi, so I urged him into an open relationship so that he could explore that further. It turns out, hey, I was right. He’s been in a couple long term situations with guys, and several once or twice encounters with both men and women since then. I have had a few encounters in that time, but nothing serious. Most of those were for his benefit, because he really likes the thought of me with other guys. None of those were serious, I think, because for me it’s hard to separate sex and love. Plus, we don’t exactly have the same taste in guys. And I haven’t done anything outside our relationship in 2 years or so. I’ve been busy having babies and recovering from that, settling down into mommy hood.

Our situation now is hubby works out of state, and I stay home with the girls. He is gone for 4 weeks, comes home for 2 weeks, then off to work again. In the recent past, that hasn’t really bothered me, because like I said, babies and such. Lately though, I’ve started to come out of baby haze and realize that I really need some adult companionship. And yes, I’m 30 (or near enough anyways) and I feel that peak that everyone talks about sneaking up on me. So, I need a sexual relationship as well. After some talk with hubby about our differing tastes in men, my probable tendency to turn sex and companionship into a loving relationship, among other things, we have decided that I should look for a boyfriend of sorts. It feels funny and high school-ish to call that resulting relationship a boyfriend/girlfriend thing, but I don’t really know how else to classify it.

So I’m here to read and learn and make friends of like minds. Find a few people who I could talk to about my frustrations in the dating world that aren’t going to be judgmental. My mom and sister know about our open marriage. My mom is opinionated, lecturing and unsupportive (very unlike her… scratch that, she’s always been opinionated and lecturing… generally she’s more supportive though) and my sister is just weirded out by the whole thing. Right now, she’s the only one I have to talk to about anything, and I don’t really like straining my relationship with her by constantly bringing up something she’s not comfortable with yet.

So again, hi, and if I was less than clear on any points, let me know and I will clarify. ]]> Introductions Axia http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3635 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3618&goto=newpost Tue, 31 Aug 2010 20:52:16 GMT I have the feeling that this is just the beginning and end of many things. All of which are complicated. I am not sure what aspects of polyamory... I have the feeling that this is just the beginning and end of many things. All of which are complicated. I am not sure what aspects of polyamory might work for me. I am in a long term on again off again relationship with a lovely lady. She does not yet know my interest in poly. I live in western Michigan and have never met a poly person before. ]]> Introductions TheNewGirl http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3618 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3609&goto=newpost Tue, 31 Aug 2010 05:50:40 GMT Hello!

I'm 30 and currently in a polyamorous relationship with my bf of 15 years (off and on) who is married. Its been working out for 3 years now. We live on the same property in two separate houses.

My bf loves me dearly, as I do him. He's known his wife for as long (1 year longer) as he's known me. They've been married 10 years and have three kids.

His wife has a bf that she's known off and on for years as well. That is a separate relationship from me and bf. She's recently gone outside of this grouping and is seeing others for sex. Which has opened up the possibility of her husband/my bf for going outside as well for sex or possible additional relationship.

I'm quite happy actually just having my bf. I have no kids of my own.

:) ]]> Introductions confusedbutterfly http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3609 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3608&goto=newpost Tue, 31 Aug 2010 04:13:55 GMT Hi, I am new to this whole thing and am unsure if I am polyamourous or not. I have been engaged to my fiancee for a year and a half now, and we were... Hi, I am new to this whole thing and am unsure if I am polyamourous or not. I have been engaged to my fiancee for a year and a half now, and we were both interested in the idea of a threesome and we had one with a work friend and it went well. We purchased a book on threesomes and read of a triad and the idea intersted us for sometime in the future. Well recently we attempted a threesome with a friend of ours and I began to have feelings for this girl, and told my fiancee about it all and she understood and we began speaking of a triad. Well because of some complications a threesome never happened so a triad defintely wouldnt lol. But the we both liked the idea and well I dont really know, I am just confused all around as I always believed one partner was how it was. Thanks for any feedback. ]]> Introductions Schmidt12 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3608 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3606&goto=newpost Mon, 30 Aug 2010 19:48:58 GMT Hello. I am a married 46yr old woman with questions. I found out this past July that my husband was cheating on me with a 29 yr old for the past 6... Hello. I am a married 46yr old woman with questions. I found out this past July that my husband was cheating on me with a 29 yr old for the past 6 months. Only, he is justifying it by saying he is poly and so is she and this is something he discovered 2 years ago, only I never knew about it. I first asked if they were having sex and they both said no. I said I would keep an open mind, even though I was and still am, totally devastated by this. I actually agreed to meet this girl and the 3 of us went out 2x, although I was not comfortable at all. She kept looking at my husband with star crossed eyes and I was not prepared for that. Yes, I am jealous and having a hard time dealing with all of this. Then I found out 2 weeks later that they were having sex and that blew my mind because they were both telling me that poly has rules and they couldn't have sex without my approval, etc..only to find out that they were both liars. I wrote some hateful things to her, mainly calling her out on her "poly" rules.
I asked my husband to quit all contact with her; that I would continue to read about polyamory and that we could work on repairing the trust in our marriage and our marriage as a whole. Yes, we were having troubles-lack of sex, me concentrating on the kids, he concentrating on work..... I said that we could revisit this in 6mo-1yr. That I need more time.
When she is not in the picture, it is easier. But she just facebooked him in a flirtatious way and he wants us to go see her again. I know I am jealous and fearful of her even though my husband says he will always love me and we are strong, but I don't see why he can't "quit" her. He knows it is causing me angst, sleepless nights, and causing us to fight.
Any help in understanding this would help. I think it is because they crossed the line in my book. Because they were deceitful and hiding their tryst, I think the poly card they are using is just an excuse for their behavior.
Any help? ]]> Introductions citygirl http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3606 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3605&goto=newpost Mon, 30 Aug 2010 17:55:35 GMT Just wanted to say a quick hello and introduce myself. I am Innocent ;). Short version of my/our story... I have been dating someone for a year... Just wanted to say a quick hello and introduce myself. I am Innocent ;).

Short version of my/our story...
I have been dating someone for a year and a half. He has in the past dated A on and off for a few years. We all know all of his needs aren't met by one relationship, but the balance of A and I seem to have that potential - and also meet our needs. That's what it is about, right?

Well, we are just getting acquainted as a threesome and looking to see how things unfold. I have previously and currently been in the swinging lifestyle, so some of this comes easily. It is going to be the navigating time for both relationships and the communicating between the three of us that will be new (when including emotions).

Wish us luck and I will share more as we head out on the venture. I have enjoyed reading on the board here :) ]]> Introductions InnocentAlwayss http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3605 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3599&goto=newpost Sun, 29 Aug 2010 21:00:02 GMT I was just realizing how long it had been since I posted here. I figured it had been long enough that I'd say hi again in here. I have all sorts of stories to tell since the last time I came around, but I thought I'd just say hi for now.

Hi! ]]> Introductions Macbeth http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3599