New Mexico

[River]

Given how few place-based fora there are here, using my city name for a topic probably isn't the best idea. But I'm from Santa Fe. I'm bi-, male, and poly. Hope to meet other poly- folk in my city or nearby.

[Dairine]

HI, I am from the area. My husband and I are looking into the poly lifestyle. We are also looking twards the BDSM lifestyle combined with the poly. I like to meet people from both for good food and friendshp.

[River]

Dairine,

I, personally, don't understand the attraction to the BDSM "lifestyle". Can you explain that so that I might better understand the attraction?

[Dairine]

JRiver,

I can only speak for myself on this subject. If there are others out there who may have input to help, I would appreciate any you could give.

I have always felt drawn to poly even befor I had a name for it. I found I had a heart that was too big and needs that were to varied for just one person to help fulfill.

So, to answer your question, some of my needs tended twards the kinkier side of life. I have always wanted to serve someone who would be responsible for Me, take care of Me, allow Me to be who I Am.

I also have always envisioned hanging and torture of the whiping style. I also have had imaginings of being tied and bound. I always felt safe with these things not scared and harmed.......They always seemed to be what was missing from my life.

These have haunted me since I was a small girl. For as long as I can remember.

Now that I am an adult, I have found a community that is accepting of these things. In fact, like the Poly Community, they encourage communication and honesty among their members. The people involved really do care about the safety and health of those they have around them. They tend to look out for each other.

I think for me, it is the community that I seek and the ability to find the limits of Me. I also really want to build my family in such a way that all parts of Me are taken care of. Some of my needs have to do with taking care of others and serving as they wish me to.

For some, the Poly Community takes care of their needs.....for others, it takes a bit more.

I guess it is the "bit more" that attracts Me to the BDSM lifestyle.

If you have any more questions, please ask...I will answer if I can.

Be well
Dairine

"
I, personally, don't understand the attraction to the BDSM "lifestyle". Can you explain that so that I might better understand the attraction?[/QUOTE]
"

[River]

I also have always envisioned hanging and torture of the whiping style. I also have had imaginings of being tied and bound. I always felt safe with these things not scared and harmed.......They always seemed to be what was missing from my life.

These have haunted me since I was a small girl. For as long as I can remember.

Dairine,

Sorry for taking so long to reply to your reply to my question.

Ordinarily, my way of thinking is such that if anyone told me that they want to be tortured or humiliated..., well, they might want to explore --psychologically-- (as self-inquiry, as psychotherapy, or with friends) why that might be. But it seems that "the BDSM 'community'" thinks me rather silly and old-fashioned in this respect, or perhaps I am just not respectful of diversity? (a strange accusation toward a queer, polyamorous... etc., guy like myself!)

For me? I simply don't get it when it comes to the BDSM scene. It is extremely alien to me. I'm vanilla to the core!

Have you ever had freshly made (home made) vanilla ice cream made with real vanilla beans?! Oh, my, now that's sexy! ;)

[Dairine]

Ordinarily, my way of thinking is such that if anyone told me that they want to be tortured or humiliated..., well, they might want to explore --psychologically-- (as self-inquiry, as psychotherapy, or with friends) why that might be. But it seems that "the BDSM 'community'" thinks me rather silly and old-fashioned in this respect, or perhaps I am just not respectful of diversity? (a strange accusation toward a queer, polyamorous... etc., guy like myself!)

For me? I simply don't get it when it comes to the BDSM scene. It is extremely alien to me. I'm vanilla to the core!

Have you ever had freshly made (home made) vanilla ice cream made with real vanilla beans?! Oh, my, now that's sexy! ;)


JRiver,

I have done quite a bit of inner exploration where this topic is concerned and I have several theories as to why I have this need....but it basically comes down to some tall psychological walls that I need to scale/breach to do some intense inner healing.

I have a place where trusting anyone is very difficult. (mind you this is just one example)....To be made helpless and be hurt by someone, (mind you in a safe environment that appears dangerous at the least) and then cared for and shown that it really is safe, would go along ways towards opening that door and letting me clean out the closet of head monsters hiding in it.

For me this is a journey of inner healing.

As for vanilla icecream....home made? Is there any other kind?

[River]

Dairine,

Wow! I'm impressed. And now it isn't so very difficult to understand as it had been. Seems to me that most of us have "head monsters" of various sizes and degrees of scaryness.... I know I've got some! I support you and encourage you in getting to know them and evolving larger than they.

Warmth and tenderness to you. And thanks!

River

[Dairine]

River,

Thank you. I am glad that I could help you understand.

I have a friend and mentor that has some very strange needs that I have trouble wrapping my mind around.....But, when I look at it from the perspective I have just explained, I can at least accept it. I still don't quite understand, but, I can accept.

Peace be with you my friend and if Ican help in anyway again, please just ask.

Namaste

[River]

Any other NM poly folk out there?

[AlmaMay]

This is my first post on this site. I've tried emailing the websites for newmexico listed in LOVING MORE magazine, but i received no reply.

I'm bi and happily married to a man in albuquerque. He's supporting the awakening of my poly-self. So looking to find community support here.

Thanks to other New Mexican Poly's.

[River]

I'm just taking a moment to welcome the several other New Mexicans who have recently appeared in the forums (aka, fora). Welcome!

We have at least two new folks, one from Albuquerque and another from Santa Fe. Please introduce yourselves here or otherwise speak about yourselves here. I have to be very quick at the moment ... but perhaps we can arrange a gathering for tea?

[Lovinglife]

Hello AlmaMay,

This is my first post also. I live near Santa Fe and I am amazed that I am comfortable putting myself out there like this. I decided that you "only live once!" and that "Love is too important not to be shared!"

I hope that you and I can become fast friends and that we can support one another on this journey!

Take care, Debbie

[River]

Santa Fe Poly Yahoo Group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SantaFePoly/

[River]

New Mexico Polyamory Network - nmpoly@twomoons.com
Albuquerque Poly Support Group - nmpoly@yahoo.com

Not sure how current these addresses are, but it's worth a try.

Info comes from: http://www.openingup.net/resources/localorgs/

[Sevamar]

Greetings! It's nice to see there are others here in Santa Fe. I'm very new to poly and still am trying to find my footing, though so far I'm having much less trouble adjusting than I thought I would. So, um...hi! ^_^ Nice to meet you all.

[River]

Welcome to the forums, Sevamar! I'm happy to find so many Santa Fe folks showing up in the forums. Perhaps in the future there will be activities we can organize, such as picknics (in spring, summer...), hikes, tea, drinks...? Maybe even a camping trip? Social gatherings....

[River]

It should be noted that we also have a thread titled "Greetings from Santa Fe, NM".

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?goto=newpost&t=1103

[Lovinglife]

Hi River,

Thanks for all of that info...it is great to see such support on here.
I am such an infant in my journey and it will be nice to be loved and
nurtured through this process.

Life means so much more when we can love on one another and help
everyone to feel good about themselves.

Hugs, Debbie

[Sevamar]

Already I feel more welcome than I expected to be. ^_^ I think this kind of atmosphere is precisely I've decided to give poly a chance. Thanks a lot! I would absolutely love to be involved with whatever we can get together.

[MatthewCC]

There is a safe, comfortable community to learn and explore poly. It meets in Santa Fe. Here is the announcment for the upcoming meeting.

We had a wonderful discussion Saturday about Poly Activism. We've had a
bit of a sequence, starting with September's "Land Mines on the Path to
Poly," October's "Poly Activism - or how do we get rid of the land
mines. The suggestion for November is "Who Put The Land Mines There -
And Why?" or why does society seem so intent on controlling sex, and
limiting alternative life styles? Should be stimulating!

We're now meeting the 2nd Sat of each month, so that means our poly
gathering will be Sat. Nov 14. Pot Luck 5-6, Discussion 6-8,
socializing and hot tub 8-10.

Mim Chapman hosts the event at her home. If you're interested or want directions email me.

Matt

[River]

Thanks, Mattew.

============

I thought I'd just check to see if there are any other Santa Feans or other New Mexicans in here at this time. Hey, there!

[kennstjohn]

Hello to all,

I've just moved to Santa Fe and am in a D/s relationship with my partner that is happily morphing into a D/s poly relationship. I'd like to get to know some people in the area and talk to and learn from y'all as much as possible. Hope you had a safe and fun New Years!

[MatthewCC]

There is a safe, comfortable community to learn and explore poly. It meets in Santa Fe. The next meeting is tomorrow night (Saturday, January 9)

Pot Luck 5-6
Discussion 6-8 (January's discussion is about personal experiences with poly)
socializing and hot tub 8-10.

Mim Chapman hosts the event at her home. If you're interested or want directions email me.

Matt

[Corsaire]

New to Poly and would like to meet others in the area. Albuquerque/Santa Fe.

[MatthewCC]

Corsaire,

Email me directly and we'll set a time for you to visit our little community so you can learn more.

Matt

[dragonsdesyre]

My husband and I are also in the Albuquerque/Santa Fe area and would be interested in getting to know other poly folk in the area. :)

[loverevolutionary]

Loverevolutionary here, Albuquerque practicing poly, new to the site. I was born into a polyamorous relationship. I've been with my current primary partner for ten years, we've been married six years, open for three, and with our current for two years now. My first adult experience with polyamory came in 1999, with Polypaths in Hawaii, a great community.
We are non-heirarchical by nature, but I am a natural leader/facilitator and my wife is a natural manager/facilitator. We are seeking to build a polyamorous community in New Mexico. It's been tried before, and there are many interested people here. The meetup.com poly group for New Mexico has a number of interested folks, but no actual meetups. We could build something like Polypaths in Hawaii, a weekly discussion group that fosters community and relationships.
I like this site. It is obviously non-commercial, built by polyamorists, for polyamorists. It features 'Spirituality and Polyamory' as a top level category. Polyamory at its best is intensely spiritual. If you are looking for a quick screw, try swinging. That's nice too, but has a slightly different focus from polyamory. Polyamory is about emotional intimacy and vulnerability with multiple people. We have all become the people we are today because of the people we have loved, and who have loved us. There is no better feeling in the world than letting down all the masks and being real with someone. Why would we want to limit that to one other person?
Well, that is who I am, and I am seeking like minded people in New Mexico. You can email me through this site, or my email address is the same as my username here, but at yahoo.com. I will be posting in the forums here a fair amount. I will also attempt to organize and facilitate through meetups.com.

[yellowstone8750]

Check our ad today, looking to complete a triad.

[MattnMartha]

Hello all! I (Martha here) am a total newbie to both polyamory and this website. I and my husband would love to meet with other poly folks in NM. We live in Albuquerque but anything in a reasonable driving distance! We are also Pagan and Kinky (D/s), so anyone out there who shares these "abnormalities", lol, please feel free to message us.

[River]

Still hoping to meet poly folk in the Santa Fe area. I'm bi-.

[befreed]

Hello, glad to see there are others out there. I'm very interested in exploring the poly life style. I have not yet been involved but would like to meet other people who are. Does anyone know where to get started?

[River]

Does anyone know where to get started?

www.google.com search terms [ "New Mexico" polyamory ].... Be sure to put the state in quotes.

One hit was ... http://www.polygroups.com/grouplist/NM

All depends on where you live in the state. If you're in Santa Fe or Albuquerque, use those search terms. Not all internet data is up to date.

Read this whole thread. That should also help.

[Dairine]

Hey there,

I hope you are still around. I can help you find the community.

Dairine

[Dairine]

Hello, glad to see there are others out there. I'm very interested in exploring the poly life style. I have not yet been involved but would like to meet other people who are. Does anyone know where to get started?

Yes, I can help you...Where are you located?

D

[Dairine]

Hi River...Long time since I talked with you. How are you doing?

Dairine

[River]

I'm doin' alright, Dairine. Sorry it took so long for a reply! How's it going for you?

I just pointed to this site on another (local) site, and am hoping some Santa Fe folks see it and jump in here. Fingers crossed.

[BlueCrystalNight]

Been living in Espanola for a couple months now. Got a lot of love to share. Hoping to network with some polys like me soon.

[River]

Nice to meet you, BCN. Looking forward to further posts in the forum from you.

[FireHeart]

Hey River. Romantic, vanilla and old fashioned gay man here who loves bisexual men. Saying hello. New to the forum and live in Santa Fe. Cheers

[River]

Hi, FireHeart! Looking forward to getting to know you better ... reading your posts.